Those 70ish Girls

 The Coyote and Lone Wolf Parade 

Court House

The Parade Grand Marshall, (sniff) Deputy Sheriff, (sniff) and Lone Wolf candidate (sniff), Barney Fife

BARNEY FIFE CAMPAIGN HEADQUARTERS

Barney Fife’s Campaign Slogan

This is Barney Fife. I’m running for President of these United States in the 2016 election. I’ll be the one, and might I add, the only one, on the Lone Wolf Party Ballot.(Pulls his pants up and sniffs.)

I was having coffee and donuts at Fern’s Cafe, and I got wind of the Parade old Murdo girl is planning. The idea is to knock old Barney out of the running. She’s on the tired old Coyote ticket. Well I’ll have you know that a parade can’t happen in Murdo without the law involved, and I represent the law. I’m what keeps this town safe from riff raff. Yup,(sniff), me and my trusty partner (pats his holster), (sniffs again).

Now here’s what’s gonna happen. You can say you heard it right here from Deputy Barney Fife. I was plannin to nip the whole idea in the bud, but (pulls his pants up and sniffs), two can play Murdo Girl’s old game. This Lone Wolf has out foxed the Coyote. Yesiree, you got it. I’m talking about that Hillary pantsuit wearing Murdo Girl.

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(Barney sniffs and continues) I’m gonna let the parade plannin keep marching on, with one little bitty change. Old Barney here is going to be the Grand Marshall . Yesiree, that’s right. I’ll also be the voice on the megaphone announcing everything in that parade from the engine to the caboose. Thelma Lou and her friend Louise are plannin to be on hand to help organize things. Thelma Lou is my girlfriend and she’s a good organizer. Yup (pulls up pants and sniffs), Thelma Lou and Louise will be hittin town tomorrow.

BARNEY’S TEAM

MURDO GIRL CAMPAIGN HEADQUARTERS 

MURDO GIRL’S CAMPAIGN SLOGAN

I’m Murdo Girl and I can’t believe Deputy Barney Fife has hijacked our Parade plans. He’s bringing in Thelma Lou and Louise too, but even if you count his gun, that still only makes a team of 4. On the Coyote team, we’ve got Murdo Girl, the Queen, Yram Sicnarf, Lav Yekcel, Jerry Elrod, and we’ve also got “an Otis in the hole.“That’s right. When Barney locks up the Jones County Jail tonight, there’s going to be a little surprise for him. More on that later.

  THE COYOTE TEAM

she’s jealous of my teeth

THE COYOTE PARADE ENTRANTS

Andrea Miller and Valerie Leckey …the Bicentennial

The Coyote Bystanders

Why are we lined up? Gus Gustafson, with Brother-in-law, and Nephew Mark with wife Marleen

THE LOAN WOLF PARADE ENTRANTS

Happy Birthday Your Majester! The BFG serves up a 10ft tall scrumdidilyumptious snozzcumber filled 90th birthday cake for the Queen at Windsor Castle ahead of the release of The BFG in cinemas this July.

The Lone Wolf Bystanders

May?

Will Barney Fife stop complaining and start campaigning? Will Otis make the Jones County Jail his permanent residence? Will Thelma Lou and Louise make the Jones County Jail their permanent residence? Will they even make it to Murdo, or will they get confused by all the Wall Drug signs?

How will Barney separate the riff raff from the riff raff? Will Murdo Girl keep her campaign promise to relocate Wall Drug to Murdo and offer” Free Ice Water?”  Will the nickels start rolling into Murdo Girl’s Coffers, so Jerry will have something to count? Will Lav, come up with some effective campaign stunts? Then there’s the Queen…Hmm, Long Live the Queen!