The Town of Murdo, South Dakota is buzzing about the two local candidates for President. Rather than go with the establishment Democrat (Donkeys), and Republican (Elephants), they have both chosen to break away and makeup their own tickets. Deputy Sheriff Barney Fife is a candidate representing the American Lone Wolf party, and Murdo girl, is running on the American Coyote party ticket.
Now for the platforms. Truthfully, they are both still trying to find their message. Murdo girl has campaigned to increase the local tourist trade by relocating all the Wall Drug signs so they direct traffic to Murdo drug, whose name has been changed to Murdo Wall Drug. The establishment offers free ice water in the winter, and warmish water in the summer. They do provide free over-ripe lemons donated by Sanderson’s store year round. If they run out, they promised to offer the Wall Murdo Drug a good deal on the lemon juice that you squeeze out of the plastic lemon. The other idea Murdo Girl has pushed through with the aid of the Queen, is to change the name of the Murdo Water Towers, to Murdo Girl Tower. (Just one so far. They’re working on $ to paint the 2nd tower.) The objective is to take an arrow from The Donald’s quill, and see if she can duplicate the celebrity that The Donald has experienced with his Trump Tower. It’s all about name recognition right? All the issues Murdo Girl has found solutions for are currently in litigation, but isn’t everything these days?
On the Lone Wolf ticket, Barney Fife has been somewhat occupied fighting crime. He is working a big case currently that could put Murdo on a bigger political map. Apparently there is a gun thief in our midst. Unfortunately, they took Barney’s gun and hid it under Otis Campbell’s hat which was hanging beside the cell next to the keys. There is an ongoing investigation, which I guess means Deputy Fife can’t talk about it until the perp is in custody.
The other question that you might be asking yourself is..How are either of these candidates going to win over the whole Nation if neither one of them ever leaves Murdo? Well here’s your answer silly people…Don’t you know? There’s Murdo and then there’s Whatever. That’s it. That’s all this Nation needs to know. Now go make yourself a T-shirt that says that.
This is the State of Murdo as the story continues
The Murdo Coyote Newspaper offices
Janie to Tommy: Well, it looks like we hired that new reporter just in time? I sure hope she can get us some good copy on the Gun Ghost. That’s what everybody is calling the potential perp. Here she comes now.
Well look who just crawled out from under one of Lav’s rocks.
Yram Sicnarf: Morning bosses! I’m chomping at the bit to get out there and uncover some dirt from under all those rocks. I happen to have some first hand knowledge that missy prissy Murdo Girl was someway involved with the pilfering of pistol packing Barney Fife’s pistol. (Wow, say that 3 times real fast.) I happened to be present at a meeting at the Murdo Girl campaign Headquarters. That was before I got semi-canned. Anyway, I heard some very incriminating statements. Here boss, take a look. She passes her notepad to Janie. Murdo Girl interrupted Jerry as he was talking about selling a battery operated nose hair clipper to Otis and these were her exact words.
The following words are the exact words spoken by Murdo Girl
Murdo Girl: (Interrupting Jerry) Thanks for the report Jerry, but Otis did a good job for us yesterday, and we don’t want to take advantage. Thanks to Otis, Deputy Sheriff and Lone Wolf candidate for POTUS, is in for a liiitle bitty surprise. Geez Jerry, slow down on the potato chips.
Janie: Not exactly a blubbering confession Yram, but see what you can do with it. Oh, and kinda sweet talk that Photographic Drawer named Sherri. Teresa, the liaison, is letting her draw a few photographs for us. Also, some fool is still hauling those boxes of rocks over there in a little red wagon. See what that’s about.
Murdo Girl : Talking to A I (Aggressive Informant). You saw Barney’s gun?? Get out a here. What would Barney Fife’s gun be doing hanging on a nail underneath Otis’s hat? Who do you think hid it there? Wait just a minute. Otis is hanging out with Lav. She’s been off on some tangent hauling boxes of rocks. Says she’s going to write Murdo Girl on them and lay them all over town. I’m just letting her do it. It’s better than some of her ideas. Why do you suppose old Otis is following her around?
A I: Well, MG, when I saw him, he looked as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. I gotta git.. Just wanted to do my aggressive informant duties and inform you. I tried to find out more, but poor Barney had been crying real bad, so I backed off. I’ll just keep my ear to the ground. That is if I can find any ground without a rock on it.
“Well I saw this thing coming out of the sky it had a one big horn and a one big eye. I was just a shakin with a misery..It looked like a purple people eater to me.”
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Will someone please find out who the Gun Ghost is? I can’t stand this much longer?! Will the answer be in someone’s notebook marked classified? Will there be a pressing press conference? Will Otis remember anything? Will Lav ask the photographic drawer to paint MG on rocks and everything else she can find? Will A I and Yram duke it out over who informs and reports? Will the Queen quit fooling around and learn the official campaign song,” I did it My Way?”
All this and more…eventually.
I love Murdo and Murdo Girl!!! Thanks for letting this outsider be a part of these amazing stories. I bet the reunion will be a blast and Murdo Girl will come away with many more interesting stories about her home town and the great friends she grew up with.
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I love what you just wrote Sherri. I’m having so much fun with all of you, and it’s going to make going back to Murdo extra, extra special
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Fully agree with you.
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You are doing the most to show your hometown you love it and its people!Great writing.
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I really appreciate your taking the time to share your thoughts. I agree 100% with continuing the build up to the reunion. From the very start of Murdo girl, it has been my way of saying thank you to my hometown and put a few smiles on peoples faces in the process. Thanks scoper07!
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Be prepared to be the hit of the reunion. People will show you just how much you have effected their lives in a great way. I’ll say I told you so right now.
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What a nice vote of confidence. keep them coming scoper07
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I think I’ve lost a few who are non Murdoites. Does it still interest you some? I’ll keep going with the theme until the reunion regardless.
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I think it is a great ramp up to the reunion which will be all Murdoites. It is great you are doing this for us. The poor little town doesn’t get much excitement coming their way very often. After that you Can grab all your followers back with something else. I doubt they are gone forever. They’ll be back. You have that much talent. Just my humble opinion though.
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So many questions. Can’t wait to hear all the answers 😊😊😊😊
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I want one of those T shirts! Not the B. Fife ones, the Murdo and Whatever ones. Hey, the Queen looks great in purple.
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Murdo Girl has no $. Sell some of your rocks and buy one.
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Another funny post Murdo Girl. You have quite the support staff. This is turning out to be an historical campaign for the history books!! Keep the full court press on Barney and he’ll slake so hard his gun let will drop to his ankles. Can’t wait so see what’s next.
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Me too 07, I can’t wait to find out who the Gun Ghost is.
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My goodness this is funny! Can’t wait to see what dirt gets dug up. This has the makings of an historical campaign for the history books Murdo Girl. Keep the full court press on Barney. He’ll be shaking so hard he’ll lose his hat!!
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You’re right! Just hope Murdo Girl can keep Barney from any pole raising heroic acts!!
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