Those 70ish Girls

Have you read the book? I bought it for Billy and he read it on the airplane. He laughed so much the other travelers kept asking him what he was reading. It appeals to those who grew up in the Elvis era.

How did you feel about being any particular age? 16 and 21 don’t count, and if you’re younger than 40 and reading this, it will apply to you someday. My Mother told me something I hadn’t remembered. She and I were driving somewhere, and when we came to the stop sign, she noticed a man in the car next to us was staring in our direction. She said at first she assumed he was admiring her, but then she realized he was looking at a beautiful young thing crossing the street. She wondered out loud how old she was when men stopped looking. She said I looked at her and said, “47.” I don’t remember the conversation, but I know Mom had a memory for things like that. I also know my Mom had “smarts.” She could outsmart almost anyone.

When I was 16, Dad kept saying, “Mary, you look like you’re 12.” After he made that observation several times I said, “Dad, tell me that when I’m 30. I don’t want to look like I’m 12 now.” When I was 30, a 20 something girl I worked with said I had beautiful skin for someone my age. She wanted to know what kind of “age correcting” creams I used. I had just graduated from Noxzema to Ponds.

My biggest wish now is to keep life in perspective every day. I loved my 40’s, although working and raising kids, made those years fly by. My 50’s were pretty good, and being almost retired has a lot of appeal. I’ve lived with this face and body for 64 years, so I’m used to it now, and I can’t wait until I qualify for Medicare. I’m also grateful for every day I enjoy good health.

I’ve never really been jealous of other people’s material things. I do wish I would have discovered my identity earlier in life. It would have been so much cheaper and easier. I wouldn’t have had to buy different clothing styles all the time, or in most cases unsuccessfully, tried to duplicate someone else’s hairstyle. Wait..that sounds like I was jealous doesn’t it? I admired what other people had. That sounds better. If I had found Mary’s style and stuck with it, my bookcase wouldn’t be lined with self-help books, and my closets wouldn’t have to house three or four different “looks.” It’s already full with a wardrobe of three or four different sizes.

I’ve gained and lost the same 10 or 15 pounds at least 100 times. I’ve been on Weight Watchers, Atkins, Slim Fat (as Mom called Slim Fast), the soup diet, low fat, and low sugar programs. It’s hard work, but just think… 15 times 100 totals 1500 pounds.

By the way, Have you noticed there are no hairstyle books with pictures of women over 25? That could be why the styles never look quite the same on me these days. My granddaughter once said to me, “I want to be the athletic type, but I like girly things.” I can relate.

As for you men, I see you guys admiring yourselves in mirrors without even trying to hide it. You don’t wear make-up or have to decide whether to use a curling iron or a flat iron. (I saw an older lady who had tried to make her lips look bigger with lip liner. She had about 1/8th of an inch between her lips and her outline. I came home and threw my lip liner away.)

Speaking of men not wearing make-up, I realize that sometimes this is a disadvantage. When my brother Billy was a teenager he went through a battle with acne. Mom got him some of that supposedly flesh colored Clearasil. The directions said to dot a little on each pimple. Instead, he plastered it all over his face. That stuff hardens and when you smile your face cracks.  Anyway, he did this for a few days until one day he realized his face was orange and the pimples were still there. They were just orange pimples now.

I traveled to a family reunion followed by a class reunion with Billy a few years back. He wore the same white T shirt and khaki shorts every day. We were into the 2nd week and I finally said, “Bill, you have worn those clothes for 7 days in a row. It’s getting a little embarrassing.” He showed me his suitecase. It was full of white T shirts and khaki shorts. If you don’t care what others think, it makes sense to do that. Think of the time you would save if you didn’t have to decide what to wear every day.

I have never tried to influence my husband Kip’s clothing choices, except for one time on behalf of my kids. He would come home from work and change from his suit to shorts and a T shirt. That was fine, but he didn’t change his brown or black over the calf socks. They were mortified if any of their friends saw him, or heaven forbid we went out to eat.

We’re Mason and Heidi, two of the kids. We hated the dress socks and shorts look.

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A I: Murdo girl! Has everyone lost their minds?? Lav is running around town yelling,

“Hey look at me! I’ve got my gown and my crown, and I’ll soon be VP!”

She even sleeps in her crown and she’s got a Corgi named Coyote. The Town Crier is with her. Sherri has been drawing photographs of people with pimples, and Carol is singing, “Hit the road Barney, and don’t ya come back no more, no more, no more, no more.

Treason said the Murdo Coyote has a big write up about the convention. They interviewed Yram Sicnarf. Jerry is running around with the empty bank bag again. And guess what? My right eye started twitching. Am I related to you?

Murdo Girl: Okay A I, I just needed a little break.