Those 70ish Girls

It is a bright, and only slightly cool day in Murdo. There is just a hint of a breeze. A perfect day to be in the Rose Garden Room. So why is everybody gathered in the cold, dark, and musty Brick House Gym? (Where there is still the odor of foul smelling gym socks in the air.)

The team is seated in folding chairs with a TV tray in front of them. They are enjoying a Continental breakfast consisting of a choice of chocolate covered or powdered sugar Debbie’s donuts, Tang, and coffee. Murdo Girl is about to introduce today’s speaker.

Murdo Girl: Welcome team, and I use that term loosely. It appears there have been some snarky remarks flying around. I was very disappointed to hear this from my spy. Have you all forgotten what it means to be a Coyote?

Lav waves her hand.

Murdo Girl: Yes Lav, What is it?

 

Lav: Coyotes snarl. They howl at the moon too! I saw one when we were still at the Campground Compound. I don’t think anyone can really know for sure what it’s like to be a Coyote though.

Murdo Girl: Okay..Try to stay with me Lav. You are so easily distracted. Is that your gardening crown? I love it! Did you get that when you went crown shopping with Treason?

Murdo Girl Continues

All of you listen up!! Surely you have felt the self-loathing that comes with failure. It doesn’t feel very good does it? (slight pause for effect.) We have lost sight of our mission.We haven’t taken the steps that must be stepped in order to reach our stated goals. Well team Coyote, we’re playing with the big boys now. The time of moving mindlessly through our days is over…Yes, when you leave here today, you will leave with the knowledge and skills to reach all kinds of little bitty goals and then finally…The big kahuna goal. It is only after we have done the labor intensive work, can we reap the rewards of success. Then my fellow Coyotes, our mission will be accomplished.

Wait..I forgot without malice or forethought. That was supposed to be in there somewhere. 

Now.. before we get started, a couple of housekeeping items. You all know where the little girl’s and boy’s rooms are. We should be finished with our training by the time the noon whistle blows. I see you’re all dressed casually..Good!

 

Now if you will please help me welcome  Mr. McKernan who was one of my teachers back in the day. I guess you could say we sort of have him to thank for my Next Pres win.

Clap clap, and so on and so forth.

Mr. Mck: I’m pleased to be here, now let’s get this over with. I mean let’s get started. (He has the look of a man who is thinking,”whuoh..It’s all coming back to me.”)

On the TV trays in front of you, there are 8 puzzle pieces. I would like you to use all of the pieces and put them together in the shape of a Coyote. I will give you 3 minutes.

Mr. Mck walks around as the team members try to complete their task. Carol raises her hand and sings a question. (She sings everything she says.)

Carol: Singing..Oh, here’s my Murdo Coyote, I’m bound to win. She is holding up her paper.

Treason: I’m our  Liaison to the Murdo Coyote Newspaper, so I should know what a Coyote looks like, and I don’t care how you sing it Carol, that does not resemble a Coyote. Whatever it is, it looks dead.

Mr. McK: Times up!  Now let’s take a look. I can see that none of you made the kind of Coyote I wanted you to. The reason being… I didn’t tell you what kind of Coyote I wanted you to make. He picks up a picture of a sleeping Coyote. Now team..What have you learned from this exercise?

A I: Where on God’s green Earth did you see a sleeping Coyote? You don’t just walk by a sleeping Coyote and casually say, “Oh my, there’s a sleeping Coyote. Isn’t he cute? Ya gotta admit the spy makes sense.

Jerry: This is very interesting. Do Coyotes eat beans? My whole life is about beans. red beans, navy beans, jumping beans, pinto beans. I just want to make sure this applies to a Bean guy.

Mr McK: I SAID TIME IS UP, Time is up, time’s up…..

The Town Cryer: HEAR YEA, Hear yea, Hear ye…shsh..Mr. Mck, you can’t talk that loud, there is an echo in here that will make you hold your ears and run screaming to your momma.

Mr McK: The point is you couldn’t make the kind of Coyote I wanted, because I didn’t give you that information. You have to know what the end is supposed to look like, before you can begin. You have to write SMART goals. Specific , Measurable, Achievable, Reachable, and Timed…Can I go now?

Sherri the Photographic Drawer: Hey look Mr. McK, I drew mine and he looks like he’s sleeping. Do I win?

Before Murdo Girl has a chance to say anything, Mr. McK quickly packs up his stuff and heads for the door. He runs smack dab into the Defense Monitor, (DM for short), followed by the Person in Charge of Brick House Functions, ( Pico for short.)

DM: Hey Mr. McK: Do you feel harassed and defenseless? Are you spending more time being…..S T R E S S E D instead of enjoying your just D E S S E R T S? Have you spent your whole life being the victim instead of a hero? I don’t mean to assume anything, but I’m really knowledgeable in this sort of thing, and I recognize, “The Look of defeat.”

Mr McK: NO!!., but you can sign me up for your defensive driving course, because I’m pretty sure I’m about to run over somebody.

Pico: Oh hi Mr. McK..finished already? Follow me to my office in the English Room. I’m in charge of functions, so I’ll be the one to pay you. I have some beans for you on my desk. Now, let’s put our hands together and clap for Mr. McK

Not knowing what else to do the team claps a little then just sits there. Because of the echo, you only really have to clap once or twice.

Murdo Girl: Well since it’s only 9:30, lets take a 30 minute break and come back here and shoot some baskets. You all worked hard this morning, and our bodies need some moving around too. We’ll have to clear out when the 3rd grade gets here to have their pictures taken.

One more thing before you go. Please write this down. I’m giving you The 2016 Coyote Administration Mission Statement.

The 2016 Coyote Administration Mission Statement

We the willing, led by the unknowing, will do the impossible for the ungrateful. We will improve our people skills, by hanging out with better people. We will lower our expectations when needed. Some days, the best thing about working here, will be that the chair swivels. Some days when you get here, you’ll have to tell yourself, in three hours, I’ll only have five hours left. The most important thing you need to remember, is when you’re feeling down,

Don’t forget the perks

 

from left..I’m Blake, MG’s cousin and acting Attorney General. Please tell me she didn’t read that Mission Statement. Can you believe Airforce .0001? The guy on the left is Lav’s Dad Al. We just call him La.