Those 70ish Girls

It’s Monday morning at the Brick House. Murdo Girl is in the Oblong Office enjoying the peace and quiet. Life is good. Being Next Pres hasn’t been easy, but things appear to be calming down and coming together. She stands to stretch her legs before continuing to work on her “State of the Murdo Address.” Yes, The Brick House is the people’s house and Murdo Girl intends to make the Murdoites proud. The rest of the nation will stand up and take notice! Oh.. some might say it’s but a pipe dream, but Murdo Girl knows one thing for sure. If Washington ran like Murdo runs, there would be order in the streets again. Never mind that other than Otis, the only lawbreakers in Murdo have been members of her Cabinet. Two are currently in the Jones County Jail.

A noise outside interrupts Murdo Girl’s ruminating. What? Is that a bus pulling up out front? Who is that getting off? It’s Yram.

Within a couple of minutes Yram has made her way to the Oblong Office.

Murdo Girl: Has it been two days already? I can’t believe it’s been two days already. So you’re out of jail? How did you happen to get on that bus?

Yram: Yes Next Pres. They let me out of The Big House and I took a bus to The Brick House. You know when you’ve done your time, they give you $2.00 and a one way bus ticket. Thankfully, my clothes still fit me or I would have had to wear standard issue clothes. I’m not sure what they look like, but they sound pretty drab.

Murdo Girl: You weren’t in The Big House Yram. You were in the Jones County Jail. I’m going to have a talk with Barney about the bus rides and money. That comes out of my jailhouse budget.

Yram: Does that mean I’ll have to give the $2.00 back? I’m totally rehabbed MG. From now on I’m doing things by the book. No cutting corners. There is one little problem though..when you’re a crack up interviewer like I am, sometimes you have to teeter on the edge, push the envelope a little, ruffle a few feathers.

Murdo Girl: You’ve got that part down. Where is Jerry? He must be out of jail too. Did you two get all of your apology letters written?

Yram: Gee, I don’t know MG. When those doors slammed behind me, I never looked back. Hey..I just figured something out. That’s why they call it the slammer! I will say there’s nothing like that first breath of fresh air once you’re on the outside.

It could be that Jerry joined up with the other prisoners and rioted. Some of them took their tin coffee cups and ran ’em across the bars of their cells, which made a big racket. Deputy Fife was getting all twitterpated.

Murdo Girl: Yram, there were 3 prisoners..you, Jerry, and Otis. I have to get back to writing my speech. I want copies of all the letters of apology on my desk by noon tomorrow. I don’t care who writes them. We must implore all those who have a restraining order against you to drop them, and it won’t be easy. Your job is on the line Yram.

Yram: Okey Dokey Next Pres. I’ll get right on it. Right after I see who’s hanging out in the employee lounge.

Murdo Girl: I swear that Lav and Yram share a brain. Speaking of Lav..I haven’t seen her the last couple of days. It isn’t like her to not to be lurking around. (Murdo girl is talking to herself.)

Meanwhile things appear to be a little tense in the employee lounge. Lav is sitting in the far corner nursing a mocha latte. Everyone seems to be blatantly staring at her.

Lav: Why don’t you draw a picture it’ll last longer.

Sherri the Photographic drawer: I am. Could you move your chair a little to the right? The lighting is better.

DM: This is going to change the way the whole world looks at you Lav.

PICO: You no longer fit the image of a Next Vice Pres.

A I: You want me to fly ya somewhere Lav? Maybe you should get out of town for awhile.

Treason: Since I’m Press Secretary, I should make sure we get out ahead of the local news on this. The Murdo Coyote will have a field day. It could be fun!

TC: Just lay it on me Treason and I’ll town cry it! 

Carol the singer: It reminds me of that song, I did it My Waaay. Maybe it’s because that’s the only song I know.

About that time, Yram walks in.

Yram: Yikes!

Meanwhile,  Jerry is in the Oblong Office talking to Next Pres Murdo Girl.

Jerry: I thought you might want to take a look at one or two of the letters Yram and I wrote in preparation of her apology tour. She has to deliver them in person right? There are 6 restraining orders, that we know of. She got rid of the house arrest with time served.

Murdo Girl: Pick one and read it to me Jerry.

Dear Mr. Lindquist,

I’m really sorry that I crashed your party, ate all of your wedding cake, and drank all of that really good punch. I just wasn’t myself that night. I didn’t really refuse to leave, and for the record it was Lav’s big idea to sit in the red convertible and watch the burning of the M all night. I only recall being asked to leave twice, and I’m pretty sure I didn’t think you meant it. 

So how about it Mr. Lindquist? Drop that dumb old restraining order, or at least drop it down to 250 ft instead of 500. I can’t even see that far. Mr. Applebee is going to kick around the idea if dropping it to 300 ft instead of 500. I still won’t be able to attend any football games, but life is all about compromise.

Yours very truly,

Yram Sicnarf

P.S. Your Philip’s 66 party was a real gas.. (Get it? gasoline station/gas.)

Coming up…Why is everyone staring at Lav? Will Yram’s apology tour get her closer to her goal..(of 250 ft)? Will the Queen quit scowling? Is she posing as a Green Beret? These people are wearing me out!