It’s Monday morning at the Brick House. Murdo Girl aka Next Pres, is in the Oblong Office reflecting over the months since she won the election. If you’ll remember, Murdo Girl ran on the Coyote ticket. It never has been determined exactly what she’s Next Pres of, but that doesn’t seem to be an issue uppermost in the minds of the town’s people or the administration. There is however, something bothering Murdo Girl. She is pondering it now as she reads the latest edition of The Murdo Coyote.
You will never guess who walks into the Oblong office…..Did you guess Lav??
MG: Good morning Lav. Why the long face and the crooked crown?
Lav: I was just wondering Next Pres. Am I still Next VP?
MG: Why of course Lav. Why do you ask?
Lav: That means I’m still the designated survivor. Does that automatically come with the job, or can I pass on it? Now if it was designated driver, that would be different, but designated survivor makes me feel like I’m a sitting duck with a target on my back. I can really feel the weight of this job on my shoulders. Do you think my crown is too heavy? Anyway, do I h-a-v-e to be next in the lineup? I’m not really looking for advancement. I’m just waiting it out until I retire.
MG: It’ll be okay Lav. I promise to eat right and get plenty of excersize. There haven’t been any threats on my life, so I don’t think you have to worry about ruling the town. I have a bigger problem right now. Due to all that happened during the campaign, election, and then there was the inaugracorination and all those other parties, there is one thing I never got around to doing.
Lav: Ooh..What’s that Next Pres?
MG: I never gave my inaugracorination address.
Lav: You’re kidding right? Everybody knows where we are.
MG: No Lav, the Next Pres is supposed to give a speech. One that fires everybody up. A passionate plea to the constituent subjects the Next Pres reigns over. Help me come up with a good idea. We need this town to know what we’re all about. The Brick House is just like The White House only it’s brick.
Lav: I’ve got it! We’ll have a presser in the Gym. You can give out the address, then every board in the cabinet can tell who they are and what they do. We’ll call it… (Lav gets up and walks over to Murdo Girl’s desk and gets right in her face.) Are you ready? We’ll call it..
Who are the Coyotes?
MG: I love it Lav. See, that’s why you’re on the top shelf of my cabinet. Quick, get Treason to put a notice in the Coyote. Invite the town. Get TC to cry it throughout all the neighborhoods. Please tell them it’s an event not a party. I can’t handle another party right now.
The Murdo Coyote
The Brick House Event
By stuff writer Yram Sicnarf
A (“Who are the Coyotes?”) event was held at the Brick House on Tuesday. Next Pres Murdo Girl gave a short Inaugracorination address and when that was finally over, TC got up and set the tone for the remainder of the event, and I quote:
TC: WHO ARE THE COYOTES? WE ARE THE COYOTES..EVERYWHERE WE GO, PEOPLE WANT TO KNOW WHO WE ARE, SO WE TELL THEM, WE ARE THE COYOTES, THE MIGHTY, MIGHTY COYOTES….EVERYWHERE WE GO..
MG: Thank you TC. Now, as promised each board member in the Cabinet will give their title and state their responsibilities, Lav..you go first.
Lav: Well..I kind of have a cushy job. I’m Next Pres with a Vice, which means as long as Next Pres is standing, I can do pretty much what I want. I’m the Designated Survivor, so I have to stay up on the issues of which there usually aren’t any.
PIco: My official title is Person In Charge Of Brick House Functions, or Pico for short. Picobhf was too hard to spit out. I plan all the parties of which there have been many. Today all I had to do was put out a few nuts and mints and clean the bathrooms.
Treason: I’m Teresa the Liason, or Treason for short. I’m in charge of Brick House communications with the news outlets which include the newspaper, Mack’s Cafe, Fern’s, and the Truck Stop. The Truck Stop is where I get the international news. I also nip rumors in the bud. Did you hear the one going around that Next Pres Murdo Girl might be implumed? It’s not true.
We’re teachers and we think she means impeached..and it’s true.
I’m Treason and I’m a teacher too. I mean implumed. It’s Brick House speak.
DM: I’m the Defense Monitor. I make sure the town is safe from undesirables, like people from New Underwood and any town that has a basketball or football team better than ours. I’m a real sports enthusiast. If we keep the good teams out, it makes it a lot easier to beat them. Coach gets kind of bored, but he always gets to go to the Regional Tournament.
Sherri the Photographic Drawer: My title is pretty straight forward. I draw every photograph the Brick House puts in the Newspaper. Recently I have started to draw tatoos and water towers. For instance the other day, I drew a tatoo on a water tower. There really is no end to the possibilities. I think it’s smart to have something to fall back on, just in case MG gets implumed, or I get carpal tunnel vision.
A I: I’m the Aggressive Informant. The reason I’m wearing this blindfold is because I lost my sunglasses and I don’t want anybody to recognize me. If you knew the things I find out because I’m so aggressive, you might try to hurt me so I couldn’t inform. I just have to shake my head when I think about all the danger I’m in. (A I shakes her head making her blindfold slip exposing one eye.) There is an audible gasp in the crowd. A I runs from the room while holding her blindfold in place causing her not to see where she’s going. She then runs smack into Jerry the Bean Counter, who falls on TC’s cheesehead which she had carelessly placed on the floor beside her chair. TC, being the Town Crier, begins to boohoo and waawaa loudly. If you have ever been in that gym, you know how it echos making it sound like 100 people are crying. All the townspeople cover their ears and run from the room, up the stairs, and out of the building. They begin chanting “implum! implum!” Carol who has practiced singing “Hail to the Next Pres,” which she had to make up words for, starts singing into the microphone no less.
Shortly thereafter, the Inaugracorination, “Who are the Coyotes?”meeting was adjourned.
The end and I hope I spelled the words right.
P.S. Just in case you didn’t get a chance to jot it down, our address is 000 Brick House Way, Murdo, SD 57559