It’s Monday morning at the Brick Help Yourself House. Murdo Girl and Lav are in what used to be the high school superintendent’s office before it was the Oblong Office, before it was the HYSTERIA (Help Your Self To Evolutionary Real Interesting Aid) Office.
MG: Just listen to all that racket going on out there Lav. People must be lined up for blocks just waiting to sign up for our DIY self help classes. We are finally getting the big break we need. Soon the money will be pouring in. I would bet my last bean on it.
Lav: (Looking out the window) Umm MG, What does demolition mean? Is it kinda like when there’s a big heavy ball being lifted way up into the sky by a crane? It’s beautiful to see, but there are no people standing in line…
MG: What?? (Murdo Girl runs over to the window just as the wrecking ball hits the window of the Rose Garden Room, which was named after the White House Rose Garden, only on account of a short growing season, the city decided to put the roses inside. The flower fertilizer creates quite a stench, but the roses are beautiful.)
They’re trying to knock this place down!! I thought we had another week to come up with the money to get this place out of hock. Do they have no shame? This multi-use brick house used to be Murdo’s answer to the White House. What are they thinking?
Lav: Well MG..it’s a pretty sad day. A pretty sad ending to our Next Pres Reign. I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling pretty sad. Think I’ll go hang my crown up. Then I’m going to make like a tree and leave before this whole place comes crashing down around us.
Murdo Girl doesn’t hear a word of what Lav just said, but she is feeling pretty sad. She decides to go down to the employee lounge for one last cup of coffee. The lounge is downstairs, so it will be a little while before the wrecking ball can get to it.
When she gets to the employee lounge, she is very surprised that no one is sitting at the table drinking coffee. Maybe it’s because all of the chairs are gone.
The coffee pot is gone too. Thanks for the memories employee lounge.
MG: I guess I’ll go on down to the gym. Maybe I’ll run into one of the gang. Funny, it’s been years since the Coyotes played basketball in here, but it still smells like dirty socks and butch wax. I have a lot of great memories of Next Pres Pressers here. I remember the time TC and the Queen got kidnapped and the bad guys released TC during one of the pressers and the electricity went out just as they took her blindfold off. It was dark down here and she thought she was blind. There’s nothing worse than a blind Town Crier unless it’s a Photo bombing Queen.
MG continues on her nostalgic tour of the Brick House, which is in the process of being destroyed by a wrecking ball.
MG: One of my fondest memories was of the Espressofest. That was DM’s brilliant idea. It would have been okay if the townspeople of Murdo hadn’t gone into caffeine overload.
EXCERPT of the Crown contest:
There are three judges including the Queen. They have been cautioned not to consider the value of the crowns. We don’t want to know. The Brick House gets to keep all the crowns as part of their take..I mean donations. It’s all “not for profit,” because we don’t want to have any tax troubles, which could keep the money tied up for years. This was the advice of our new Lawyer Gentril. That’s an Attorney General who can’t pass the bar. Ours turns into the Buffalo Bar every time he goes by, but at least we know where to find him.
The DM (Defense Monitor..He never can keep a secret), Bean Counter, (couldn’t find a bean if it was pasted on his forehead), The Gentril, and the Judge…(Queen E judged the Espressofest Crown contest. She was ruthless!)
MG: Well, I like nostalgia as much as the Next Pres, but I sort of feel like it’s time to move on. (A wrecking ball smashing against the side of your office tends to make you face reality.)
Murdo Girl makes her way to the back door…woops! There is no back door, so it’s off to the open space that used to be the front door. She is really feeling sad by this time. Not one shelf of her self help cabinet has stopped by to talk about old times.
Funny…They had seemed really interested in the new business model. Self help is the answer to every burning question I can think of except one…What’s next for the old Next Pres?
All of the staff and most of the townspeople, (well at least 3), were waiting on the front lawn. They were clapping. (clap, clap). Sherri the photographic drawer was drawing a photograph of the unbelievable scene! Carol the singer was belting out “Oh Here’s for Murdo Coyotes! A I was buzzing the building with her airplane, and you can bet Treason was right there with her.!!!!! DM, PICO, TC, and even the Queen were all there, and they were smiling from ear to ear!!! Wait..the 3 Murdoites turned out to be the body guards, Bart, Smart and Brave-heart. Too bad…they would have fit right in to the Self Help stuff. Speaking of someone who needs help…here comes Yram Sicnarf. All of her restraining orders must have been lifted.
Lav: (Comes running up to MG). Come on MG, she says. We’ve got to get to work!!
MG: Lav..This was all fun and games until the building got hurt, but you must get a hold of yourself and face reality. They are tearing this place apart brick by brick. There is no longer a The Brick House.
Photographic drawing by Sherri (copied from a photo taken by Dianna)
Lav Points to the sky…A I is flying low..and what’s this I see? A Banner?
“Come to The Bored Help Your Self House, or just The Bored House for short..Which happens to be painted white.”
Lav: We’re going to the REAL White House MG. Yup… We don’t even have to go to Washington DC. We’re going to set up shop at the old grade school right down the street, and it’s built from wood instead of brick! We even have a bored crown for you MG.
MG: You spell that b-o-a-r-d Lav!!
Lav: Pico is down there getting all the nuts and mints ready, and guess what else? Today is her birthday so we’re giving her a help yourself self help surprise party!
Everybody claps (clap clap), and cheers, (cheer cheer).
HAPPY BIRTHDAY PICO!!!
You looked so lovely at the Inaugracorination…Here’s the description of your memorable eco-friendly gown.
Pico will look lovely in her gown of plant leaves. She even found some tomato earrings. If anyone craves a salad later, I’m sure she’ll oblige. The only downside to the gown is that it has to be watered every 20 minutes. There’s a sign-up sheet in the men’s room.
Pico: My official title is Person In Charge Of Brick House Functions, or Pico for short. Picobhf was too hard to spit out. I plan all the parties of which there have been many. Today all I had to do was put out a few nuts and mints and clean the bathrooms.
Happy Birthday Mari Jackson
from Your Brick House friends and readers.