Those 70ish Girls

Well, Pearl the dog and I are on our way over to Pearl’s Busy Nest. I’m kind of looking forward to the next two weeks. My mom and I haven’t been able to put up a Christmas tree for the last couple of years, and we don’t have to get one this year either because Pearl is letting us get one for the Nest. We’re going to try to get away this morning to buy one of those trees they’re selling at Super Value. I hope we get to make popcorn and cranberry garland and get tinsel and little candy canes to put on it. I’m out of school for two whole weeks. I think I’ll ask Grace if she can help me make some Christmas cookies to give to people. As you can tell…I’m so delighted!

Well we aren’t there yet, but we almost are.

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Hi Pearl, Hi Grace…I’m here are you?

“Yes dear,” Grace hollered. “Pearl is here too. Come on in and see what she’s done.”

“Pearl,” I said. “What have you done? You said we could get a real tree at Super Value. That tree looks like it’s full of cotton candy.”

I could tell Pearl was a little miffed that I rejected her Pepto-Bismol Christmas tree. I didn’t say anything, even though I felt crushed like a bug under her shoe. I just went to get Pearl the dog’s water bowl. I was trying not to cry.

“Why, Essie…I thought you would adore this tree. It has class. It’s different, like we are.”

“Christmas trees aren’t supposed to have class, Pearl. They’re supposed to have lights and pine needles that smell good.” I couldn’t keep what I was thinking to myself any longer. “You look more like a Christmas tree than that pink thing does.”

Neither one of us had much to say to each other after that, but I could tell Grace was getting nervous and we always regret it when Grace gets nervous.

I didn’t tell you everything we now offer at the Nest. Here is a compost list of everything we have and do.

Light Therapy... of which there have been very few takers

Dear Grace: Pitiful people write to Grace and she answers the questions through the mail. The writers and the answerers are all anonomolis.

Pearlelixer Fixer, which of course is our best seller.

We have added:

Ballroom dancing two nights a week and Laughter Yogi two mornings a week.

Right now Pearl leads all of the classes, but she’s trying to find a laughter yogi teacher because Pearl is not a morning person.

It was a long day for me, and I had to walk past that Pepto- Bismol tree all day. If Pearl hadn’t kept moving, someone would have hung a star on her head. I was getting ready to take Pearl the dog back to Pearl’s house and then go home, when two ladies walked in.

“Zee need fixer,” the shorter one said as she handed her empty bottle to me. I couldn’t remember her name, but I knew it wasn’t Zee.

“Here’s the empty,” the taller one with the red glasses said. “Say…is there anything in this juice that will harm my dentures?”

“Zee have teeth.” The shorter one said. She said something else that I didn’t understand, but the taller woman knew.

“She wants to know if you have it in other flavors, because she doesn’t like flat 7-up too much.”

Well, I’m telling you, I had never seen Pearl move so fast! She burst out of her broom closet office and ran right to those ladies. One of them had a headscarf on her head and didn’t seem to be hearing Pearl too well, and the taller lady had the red glasses, which Pearl took a moment to stare at.

Pearl looked stricken and I wondered why. The short woman spoke again. She glanced out the window and saw a little black car pull up. “Zee must go…Zee no like 7-up. Zee no like take’os, too.”

The taller woman spoke.

“Someone tried to feed her tacos today, so she wants to make sure everyone knows she doesn’t like them. Next time we’ll bring you some eggs. We would also like to sign up for ballroom dancing.”

They got to the door and the tall one with red glasses said, “Hm..You look more like a Christmas tree than that pink thing does.

When they were gone Pearl looked at me and said, “Please don’t ever leave me, Essie. I will take you to Super Value the first thing tomorrow and get you a real tree….And Essie, remind me to tweak the Elixer Fixer. Those two ladies could be our undoing.”

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I didn’t believe that for a minute. I wondered if she would dress in pink tomorrow.

These people just signed up for Laughter Yoga, or was it ballroom dancing? Same expression either way…Ha! Ha!… Ha,Ha,Ha!