Those 70ish Girls

I’m on my way over to Pearl the human’s to take Pearl the dog out back to do her business. We’re not going over to The Busy Nest, today. It’s just going to be Pearl the human there… all by her lonesome. Grace had an extremely unfortunate accident yesterday and will be bedridden for a while.

If it hadn’t been so tragic, it would have been kinda funny.

You see, Pearl convinced Grace that she looked trashy in her black flats, because of the rubber bands she had to stretch around her feet to hold them on. Grace just loves flats, but her feet just weren’t made for them. Pearl says Grace’s arch is too high, which makes her foot bow up. When her foot bows up, it’s too short for the shoe which makes the shoe fall off. I know what you’re thinking, because I thought it too. Why doesn’t she buy a smaller shoe? Well, because when she steps down, her weight makes her foot straighten some and that makes the shoe fit a little better. It’s on the uplift that Grace needs the rubber bands.

Anyway, Grace and Pearl were gonna go to Pierre and shop for a serviceable, yet fashionable shoe for Grace, but they couldn’t get away when the stores in Pierre were open, so they had to resort to ordering from the catalog. They weren’t for sure what size Grace wears since her flats never fit her so they had to guess.

They didn’t think it through.

Grace didn’t have those shoes on for more than half an hour when they came untied and one of the fashionable but not so serviceable ribbons got twisted around the leg of the folding chair Grace was sitting on at The Nest. When Grace got up and tried to take a step, the shoe and the chair came with her. Grace made all kinds if moves to try to stay upright and I think the big surprise to all of us was that when she finally stopped reaching and twisting, she actually did land back in the chair. Too bad she wasn’t able to stay in it. She slid right out and onto the floor like a wet noodle. Somewhere along the line she broke her tailbone…and guess what? Both of her shoes fell off. Right now, she’s resting uncomfortably in her bedroom, and Pearl the dog and I have to take care of her. Guess who will be answering all the Dear Grace letters until dear Grace has a less painful day.

It’s the least I can do.

Well I’m not there yet, but I almost am.

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“Hi Grace…Hi Pearl the dog. I’m here, are you?

“Ruff, ruff!”

“Elllllllie?! Hurry, Ellie. I need my donut pillow. Oh my, my, my, my… I’m suffering so, so, so much!”

“Ruff, ruff!”

I tried my best to get Grace situated on her donut before I took Pearl ouside. The poor dog must have been, so, so, so uncomfortable, too. We both hated to go back upstairs to those rooms above Sanderson’s store. It was gonna be a long, long, long, day.

Then I got a great idea. I figured as long as I had to stay with Grace all day, I might as well get the most out of it.

The first thing I did was call Mack’s cafe and order us some big ol’ cinnamon rolls for breakfast.

Mack’s Cafe

“Hello,” I said in a tired sounding voice. “This is Ellie and I’m calling for poor Grace who is laid up over here. I’m sure you heard she took a nasty fall and she is in exCRUNCHiating pain. She is moaning so loud I can hardly understand her, but I believe she is asking for two or… maybe three of your mouth watering cinnamon rolls. The problem is, I don’t have any money and I can’t leave Grace long enough to try to find someone to give me the cash OR come to Mack’s to buy those deLUSHis rolls. Hello! Are you still there?”

Well, they brought us over four huge rolls. On the house. Poor Grace could only eat about a half of one.

Fern’s Cafe

That idea worked so well, I decided to get Grace a juicy cheeseburger and fries from Fern’s Cafe. I told them Grace would surely love some of Fern’s deLUSHis chocolate cake with that fudge frosting. They brought over enough burgers and fries, and chocolate cake to feed four people. Too bad Grace wasn’t hungry because it sure was good.I ate hers and mine. Pearl the dog didn’t want any.

I didn’t think it through.

By the time Pearl the human got home, I was sound asleep right there in bed beside Grace. I only woke up because I kept hearing, “Ruff, Ruff,” and, “Hurry, Pearl! Oh, my, my, my, my…I am suffering so, so, so, much!”

“Settle down now, Grace,” Pearl said. “I brought us all BBQ sandwiches, french fries and chocolate malts from the Frosty Freeze. Where are you going, Essie? Let’s eat while it’s hot!! You must be starving!”

“Ruff, ruff…feed me, please.”