Murdo Girl… Front page news..Billy’s decision

Mary Francis McNinch

APB Presser: The following is an exclusive report obtained by Yram Sicnarf, Crack-Up Reporter, as run in/on all of the national publications, a few tweets, gossip rags, and of course several facebook walls. (Pinterest had no interest and the Queen did not return Yram’s calls.) Billy wrote this, himself…

Bill (Billy) Francis’ Selection Committee Picks Murdo Girl’s Birthday Card as the Winner of the “2018 Nasty Birthday Card Contest”

What??? Say that again!!

Bill (Billy) Francis’ Selection Committee Picks Murdo Girl’s Birthday Card as the Winner of the “2018 Nasty Birthday Card Contest”

The selection committee, in a 5 to 4 vote, picked Murdo Girl’s BD Card over LAV’s Card.  However, within minutes the LAV camp filed an official protest, citing possible “collusion” and “excessive lobbying efforts” by the Murdo Girl’s camp.  The contest rules state that an independent arbitrator be selected to make the final ruling.

The arbitrator, after reviewing the file and hearing testimony from both parties, ruled in favor of Murdo Girl.  In the arbitrator’s opinion he (or she) writes that there was no collusion.  The arbitrator did find evidence of lobbying on Murdo Girl’s part, although he/she determined that the lobbying was not “excessive.”
This reporter noted that the number of entries was down from previous years, possibly due to Mr. Francis’ retirement last January.  It seems that there may have been “excessive” encouragement of former employees in the past to submit entries.
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It appears that Lav Yekcel is receiving the dreaded news. Her crown has already lost it’s luster. Is she leaving town?

We think Lav is in seclusion. Her daughter, Caitlin, has been spotted with her mother’s cousin, Billy. Billy has also been seen with Lav’s good friend, Murdoite, Suzanne Brost. What conclusions are we to draw from this? Oh, wait! That picture was taken at the Boulder Boulder in 1995. It appears, Murdo Girl, who was standing on the other side of Suzanne, was cut out of the picture…

 

Meanwhile, Murdo Girl is celebrating with some childhood friends.

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This just in…(from Lav)

I’m going out early tomorrow to shop for a card. I have hired an independent consultant(who looks a lot like the wicked witch of the east/west whatever from The Wizard of Oz) to offer her opinions and channel her anger into the constant search for mean and nasty cards – not dirty ones. The quest continues.

Mary- where did you say you’re taking the committee to dinner? I concede for now.
Val
MG:  Yeah, right…(My card wasn’t dirty, either.)
Someone overeavesdropped and heard the following:
MG: Oh Yay!! I can’t wait to announce this prestigious win on the Murdo Girl blog! Do you mind if I leave out the part about the lack of competition? And can you tell me what put me over the top? Was it the whining or was it the already been scratched off, net zero, bingo lottery ticket? Maybe it was the unique postage stamps…one other question. May I ask who makes up the jaw droppingly astute committee that picked me? I’d like to send them a card.
Speaking of cards, I’m sure glad I didn’t buy a new one. I bought the Bigfoot card for a guy who left town unexpectedly before his birthday.
Love you Bill (Billy) I can’t believe I have a whole year to bask in this big win!

9 thoughts on “Murdo Girl… Front page news..Billy’s decision”

  1. sanjuan831 July 31, 2018 / 9:11 pm

    Ohh, that clears it up.

    Like

  2. scoper07 July 31, 2018 / 10:17 am

    It gets frustrating when you are so far off on spelling a word that spellcheck can’t help!!!! When I first contacted you, you were thinking of daisies and roses. What’s up with that?

    Liked by 1 person

    • sanjuan831 July 31, 2018 / 3:42 pm

      Daisies and roses are on my mind a lot lately.
      That is cause California has so much sunshine.
      Low on mean greeting cards though. Yup.
      (What’s MG mean by insultuating?)

      Liked by 1 person

  3. sanjuan831 July 31, 2018 / 9:24 am

    Thanks, Scoper! That TM trick worked. Hope your headache is better. You’re a good spellur!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. scoper07 July 31, 2018 / 7:56 am

    I’ve scooped the scooper on this one Yram! Through intense transcendental meditation I have been in contact with Lav and she purposely let MG win this year. Out of sympathy and tiring on continued whining she sent a less nasty card. There I’ve said it. The cat is out of the bag. Now I have to go find some aspirin as my head hurts from trying to spell transcendental correctly.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Mary Francis McNinch July 31, 2018 / 9:49 am

      So you’re insultuating Lav threw the contest? Wow!! (Don’t you have to go to the dentist for transcendental work 07?) I don’t whine, I simper.

      Liked by 1 person

      • scoper07 July 31, 2018 / 10:23 am

        Sometimes the truth does hurt a little bit. Winning is all that matters, right? Actually, I think they are all out of nasty cards in California. They’ve all been sent to DC! Just kidding folks.

        Liked by 1 person

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