Those 70ish Girls

How about a Pearl story rerun?  ( A Christmas story as told by Ellie/Essie who is a worse speller than MG, but also likes to use big words.)

I’m on my way to Pearl’s to pick up Pearl the dog and go to work. It’s getting close to Christmas and the Nest has been really busy. Our tree is so pretty, I think we’re getting more tire kickers because the news of our beautiful Christmas tree is getting out. The Murdo Coyote even came and took a picture of it and put it on the front page of the paper. Pearl wore her flashiest red outfit so she would stand out from the green and gold of the tree.

It was only supposed to be Pearl and Pearl the dog in the tree picture because Grace and I weren’t dressed right, but we figured out a way. We didn’t want Pearl to have an empty nest.

I’ve been trying real hard not to think about all the things I want for Christmas. Mom says when I think about it, I set myself up for disappointment. I try to save the money I earn at the Nest, but Mom usually has to borrow it for things like food or gas for our old broken down car. It makes the Jeep look like a Cadillac.

We’re not there yet, but we almost are.

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“Hi Grace, Hi Pearl, We’re here are you?”

“We’re here, Essie…Grace and I are making plans for a Christmas party here at the Nest. Grace is all atwitter and she hasn’t written down one word on our list of things to do. Maybe you can help us.”

“Well, the instructions you gave me make it kind of hard, Pearl.” Grace had a real twitterpated look on her face. “You said you didn’t want to make any food or spend any money. What do you want us to do? Hand them a glass of water and say, enjoy yourself… we have plenty more where that came from?”

“Psha,” Pearl said. “You haven’t seen a Pearl party before. I have my ways. and I’m going to start at the Super Value Store.”

“Jeez, Pearl,” I said. “Haven’t you milked that tree incident for enough? Now you’re going to ask them for free food?”

“I know,” Pearl was frowning. “When I have an altercation with someone who is not quite as artful as I am, I usually cut them some slack, but for some reason I got carried away with the tree guy and his boss, which is why I’m going to start with them. Come on, Essie. We’ll go talk to him right now. Hopefully they won’t see us coming and hide from us again.”

I was really not wanting to go to Super Value with Pearl, but part of me wanted to see her in action, so we headed down Courthouse Hill and across Hwy 16 and parked the Jeep right in front of the Frosty Freeze. Too bad it’s not open in the winter. I sure would like a strawberry malt right now.

Anyway, you should have seen the checker’s face when we walked in.

“Well hello,” Pearl said in her sweetest voice. I don’t believe I know you. We live above Sanderson’s Store so it’s more convenient to shop there, but now that I have seen your store and met some of the employees, I believe I will try shopping here on occasion. Is your boss in? Never mind, I see him coming this way.”

Pearl sashayed on over to Mr. Boss. She looked like something else in her red Christmas tree outfit. I know that boss wanted to snicker, but I feverently hoped he wouldn’t.

“Hello my good man,” Pearl was beaming as she stuck her hand out to Mr. Super Value. “I wanted to come and explain why I, what some people might call, over-reacted, when the tree I purchased here cratered because it had a trunk as crooked as a slithering snake.”

‘Hmm, that’s an apology?” I whispered to myself. Pearl went on to tell Mr. Super Value man that she was inviting the whole town to Pearl’s Busy Nest to see the stunning new Christmas tree she got at the Super Value Store.

Pearl went on with her explanation.

“I won’t say anything about you buying all the decorations, because that would open up a can of worms, and you know how people talk. Anyway, all is forgiven, and to prove it, I have picked your Super Value Store to provide all of the food and drinks for the party. Now, here’s a list of everything we will need. Do you have a vehicle to haul it all in? If not we can use the Jeep if the tree guy is available to load and unload for us.”

I couldn’t believe it. The Super Value boss turned red and then green just like Christmas. I know he was sweating, and shaking a little too, but he said he really appreciated being picked by Pearl.

“It’s the least I could do,” Pearl said. “Come on Essie…we must go by the church. We need to tell the Preacher we are sending someone over to pick up some tables and chairs, and some white tablecloths. Next we’ll stop at the meat locker and tell them to make room for our pearashibles until the day of the party. Then all we have to do is stop at the Murdo Coyote and tell them we will pick up the invitations tomorrow. What do you think we should say on the invites?”

Pearl was in her heelhouse. This is what she was born to do….malipunate.

The whole town was there! Pearl was in all her glory! She sold every last bottle of her Elixer fixer.