Murdo Girl…Lav gives her all

Mary Francis McNinch

Hey MG readers! I’m almost finished with my project and I will most likely post it this evening. In the meantime, here is another rerun. I hope I’m not the only one who gets a chuckle out of the Brick House campaign for Next Pres, stories.

I’ve been all over the place haven’t I? I’ve written a couple of Murdo/History/camera stories, Beastertown, Pearl, and of course tiny home updates. We’re only a few weeks away from occupying our new tiny mansion, so updates will be forthcoming. You will love it! Maybe I will be able to stay more focused once we are all settled in. Thank you for your enduring patience!

The following has been edited. Who says you can’t rewrite the past?

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It’s Saturday night at the Coyote County Convention. The keynote speaker is Lav Yekcel. Head for the platform Lav and make your anytime minutes count.

1-Your Highness Valerie
Lav Yekcel, Publicity Stunt Coordinator and sometimes Queen

The Dems have their Donkeys, the Repubs have their Elephants, Barney Fife has the Lone Wolves. Murdo Girl is running for President on the Coyote Ticket. That’s right. We’re not Dems and were not Repubs, we are just one thing, The Coyotes.

Crowd: GET HER OFF THE STAGE!

Who are the Murdo Coyotes? By Lav

The Coyote party is much like the animal. We protect our own, and howl at anyone who threatens our town, especially if there’s a full moon. Coyotes  can go anywhere and not be bothered. On the other hand, the opposition party, Barney’s Lone Wolves, mainly live in the lowlands. I mean they not only live in low places, they’ve got friends in low places, where the whiskey flows and the beer chases their blues away.

Crowd: PLAGIARISM!

Back to the Coyotes. Blah, blah, blah…

Crowd: crickets…where did the crowd go? Oh, I see a few gathered in the lobby. They’re enjoying coffee and homeade cookies. I see MG’s mother brought her famous homeade Oreos.

Lav smiles, bows, and blows kisses as she is run off the stage.

Murdo Girl will now give her acceptance speech and tell us all who the Coyote VP candidate will be. (There is a smattering of applause. It appears most of the crowd is clapping with just one hand.)

Murdo Girl

Thank you for your support Murdo. A special thanks to Carol for her beautiful rendition of Oh, here’s for Murdo Girl.

 

I accept the nomination for President of The United States of America, with an emphasis on Murdo.

map

I can’t go past a water tower anymore without feeling a deep sense of pride. Every time I see a Wall Drug sign pointing towards Murdo, I get all choked up. The Coyote team has worked miracles, with a lot of brawn and very little brains. You all know who I’m talking about. Bless your hearts.

 

I would like to make sure everyone knows about the hamburger and hot dog cookout to be held on the lot across the street. It will be starting immediately after the conclusion of tonight’s festivities.  All we ask is that you cross Jerry’s palms with a few bucks. It costs more money than we anticipated to keep the 97 Wall Drug signs pointing to Murdo.

1-queen hamb
The Queen will be serving

Do we really want Murdo to be our Nation’s Capital? I think not. Let the D.C. Dolts stay where they are. The best S and R’s are from SD anyway. Let them do their thing. We will live by our Mission statement. Someone in Mission, SD wrote, ” If you want to be Rome, do as the Roman’s do.” I believe that simple statement will go down in history. We will, of course, substitute Murdo for Rome, and add anonymous, who we all know writes good stuff.

I have been asked to stay out of the low cost healthcare stuff. Murdo will do it’s part to keep everyone healthy by outlawing Bing Candy bars. You will no longer be able to get a Bing and a Coke at Mack’s Cafe. (At this news the convention delegates Boo.)

 

Hold on now people, you can still go to Draper or Vivian and buy Bings. You just can’t get them in Murdo anymore. We’re trying to set a good example, that’s why the Methodist Church basement Cooks are starting a Supersize class on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

 

The men are going to try to stay fit by walking the square on Mondays and Wednesdays. You must arrive at the Frosty Freeze by 9:00 a.m. if you want to participate. The Frosty is offering 2 for one milkshakes at 10:00 which should hurry everything along.parade

Unlike my opponent Barney Fife, I won’t be distracted by throwing people like poor Otis Campbell in jail. I won’t be carrying a gun with one bullet. I’ll have at least two, and I’m thinking about three. I have already passed the gun safety course.

 

 

Our Senator has also asked me to stay out of trying to pass bills that would beef up our military, which I’m reluctant to do. Our military needs some beefing up. They’re pretty little.

 

 

I really appreciate how the Senator is trying to lighten my load. I still have to deal with the town infrastructure. As soon as somebody tells me how to infrastructure, I’ll get right on it.

At this time, I would like to announce my running mate on the Coyote ticket. My VP nominee is Lav. I picked her mainly because I already have a lot of pictures of us together. We are also planning a girl’s vaca in October, and she has a $62.00 crown. She has to figure out a way to get her money’s worth out of it.

 

Lav also knows how to drive the Jeep. We’ll have to get Sherri to paint her name on it. I will soon be announcing a new Publicity Stunt Manager to take the place of the vacant Lav.

This was the conclusion of the Coyote County Convention. Go Coyote Team. We’re all behind you. Hey, Where is everybody? Anybody still in the Harold Thune Auditorium?? Who turned the lights out? The Party’s over??

Crickets, Crickets, Crickets

They must have all gone to the cookout.

(Murdo girl got tied up today and wrote this very quickly. Now I’m going to Draper to get a coke and a Bing.)

 

24 thoughts on “Murdo Girl…Lav gives her all”

  1. sanjuan831 March 14, 2018 / 8:04 am

    Reblogged and reruns so appreciated. These just get funnier with age.

    Like

  3. Mari Jackson August 1, 2016 / 11:13 am

    Alas, Murdo Girl and Queen, these heavenly Bings have to be consumed when you are alone, so no one can add the calories up. Yes, I am a closet eater of Bing’s, when I can find them!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Mary Francis McNinch August 1, 2016 / 11:27 am

      I eat the outside first, and the creamy cherry mash inside last, like some people eat Oreos. Funny I don’t like Oreos. I’m going to have my Slim Fast now. It’s 11:30

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Mari Jackson August 1, 2016 / 7:31 am

    Shock, dismay and near fainting going on at the Jackson household!!

    You dear lady, Ms. Life Lessons need a trip to Murdo or Sioux City ( or possibly in your own town’s grocery store and candy section) to find a Bing! These delectable goodies are cherry mash and covered with crushed peanuts and chocolate. Divine stuff, truly! They have Bing’s, Twin Bing’s and King Bing’s made by the Palmer Candy Company in Sioux City. I might have to go get one now as I don’t think I can wait to eat one until I see our beloved Murdo Girl again.

    Liked by 2 people

    • sanjuan831 August 1, 2016 / 7:41 am

      Ohhhh! Thanks for that. I will look for them in California. MG knows what’s good,as do you, banner carrier extraordinaire.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Mary Francis McNinch August 1, 2016 / 9:25 am

      I love your description Mari. Do they make Slim Fast in that flavor? I’m trying to do Slim Fast twice a day. This is my first day. It’s already 9:30 and I’m not even hungry.

      Liked by 1 person

    • sanjuan831 August 1, 2016 / 7:35 am

      I meant to ask Murdo Girl how Bings tasted and if we could still buy them, but it was hard to get near her with all the fans around recently.😘

      Liked by 2 people

      • lifelessons August 1, 2016 / 11:50 am

        I vaguely remember a lumpy bumpy mound of a candy bar with a pink filling–perhaps cherry-flavored? I can’t remember if the lumps were crackles, nuts or coconut. Could that be a Bing? I rememember I preferred 5th Avenues! They were so delicious.. and Butter Brickle candy bars.. Thick toffee with nuts covered in chocolate. So much better that the skinnier and richer Heath Bars that nudged them out of the market.

        Liked by 2 people

      • Mary Francis McNinch August 1, 2016 / 1:31 pm

        Please, I’m drinking Slim Fast!! Mom used to call it Slim Fat

        Like

      • lifelessons August 1, 2016 / 3:27 pm

        Ha. We used Metrecal. Dad drank it in addition to his meals. Thought just drinking it would make him lose weight.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. sanjuan831 July 31, 2016 / 10:09 pm

    Yup, super sizing and double bings too.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. sanjuan831 July 31, 2016 / 9:37 pm

    I’m speechless…literally. No speech. Thanks for choosing a speech for me to use as your running mate. I’m practicing running every day at the school track. You are right about us doing a good job with lots of brawn and little brains. Brawn is my favorite color!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. countrygirl57 July 31, 2016 / 8:50 pm

    Another good one. Lots of chuckles 😃😃

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Mari Jackson July 31, 2016 / 8:41 pm

    The C of the CCC heartily approves of Lav being your running mate and is going with you for the Coke and Bing’s in Draper! Being from Sioux City, I take my Bing candy bars seriously and frequently. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  10. scoper07 July 31, 2016 / 8:28 pm

    Great choice on pIcking Lav MG. You two make a great team. Wonderful idea to beef up the military because if you’re going to carry a big stick you need beefy personnel.

    Liked by 2 people

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