Hello Murdo Girl fans. We have a situation. One that has recently come to my attention. It seems that when I make personalities relatively famous in a series such as:  The Presidential campaign, The Brick House, Connie’s Story, and even Dakota’s story, there is a big letdown when, as all good things do, it comes to an end and fame and fortune no longer seek them out. So being the helpful and “get er done” person I am, I have decided to open an employment agency to specifically help all of the somewhat talented people, animals, queens, and cars affected. I will publish my interviews as we work through the issues we face.

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Murdo Girl to Lav: Please send in our first desperate unemployed blog star please.

 

Lav: 10-4 MG..here comes the cheese-head

Unemployed blog star who shall remain nameless: I was the Town Crier for the Next Pres and I can’t find a job anywhere in the blog world now. For crying out loud, I am good at what I do!!

MG: I believe you…that is a real tear jerker…let me take a look at the current positions available. Hmm..have you ever considered losing the cheese-head? There just aren’t any jobs available for town criers with a cheese-head.

TC: The cheese-head is my very identity. Don’t you have a position that would include crackers or some other complimentary Crudités?

MG: Crudiwhat? There is no need to be Crudanything…I am here to help you. Please fill out the employment history and we will do our best to find you a cheesy job.

Next Client walks in on all fours.

Arf: I am Soo’-TAH..I am hounded by reporters and others who bark up the wrong tree. As soon as the word gets out that I am available, you will be inundated with offers, so I have come with a list of commands.

MG: Do you mean demands?

Arf: No…I mean commands. If you are to represent me, you are going to have to learn to speak my language.

MG: Speak?

Arf: BARK!! oh, sorry. For a moment I reverted back to my pre Soo’-TAH self when I had to do things like sit, shake hands, and the absolute worst…roll over.

1. My next acting job must include River time…I love the River. 
   

   

   

   

2. I want real bones…none of those Milk Bone things, especially the ones that are multi-colored. The dye they use causes my ears to itch. I might even consider endorsing a dog food. I really enjoy Rachael Ray. She makes Nutrish. Have her dog people call my dog people.

MG: Anything else?

Arf: I can only count to two, but there is one other thing…Have you met Amber? She is my handler. She had to clean the barn today, or she would have handled this.

MG: Thank you Arf Soo’-TAH, I want you to stay by your phone, because I will call you…Shall I say, “Heeere Arf? or Heeeere Soo’-TAH?

Arf: One more thing…No large cats!

MG: Lav…how many are waiting? I have a serious eye-twitch going on here.

Lav: You’re good MG. Almost everyone left, but they said they would be back tomorrow.

MG: Almost everybody?

Lav: The Queen is still here. I’ll send her in.

MG: Hi your Highness. Long time no see. My invite to your 91st birthday bash must have gotten lost in the mail.

Queen E : Well, I stood on that crowded Buckingham Palace Balcony for the last time MG. Those kids drove me nuts. Everybody keeps looking up at the sky. I have never figured out what they’re all looking at. I just can’t get into it anymore. Royalty just ain’t what it used to be. Get me a job pleeeze! How about a new blog…The adventures of Queen E and Soo’-TEE! I could knight him.

 

I got a call from Pearl today, but Pearl the dog just doesn’t work for me.

Kip and I had a good idea. Actually, it was Kip’s idea and it wasn’t that good. To tell you the truth, it was an idea that only sounds good if you say it real fast. If you say it slow and think about it, it doesn’t sound so good.

We were invited to a birthday celebration for a very dear friend of ours from our Wyoming days. She lives in Cathedral City, California. Her three kids planned a lovely party to be held at a club house not far from Ontario, California where my 2nd Dad, Gus lives.

JoAnne with her daughter Cheryl and Cheryl and  JoAnne’s daughter LeAnne cutting the wonderful cake. Kip loved it!

The plan was to catch an early flight to Ontario, have Gus pick us up at the airport and drive us to Cathedral City, about 70 miles down the road, where the three of us would attend the birthday party; then Gus could drive us back to Ontario to catch a return flight. We would get back to Dallas around 2:00 a.m. The 60 mile drive from Dallas to Mabank would be a snap. After all, there wouldn’t be any traffic that early on Monday morning.

Our plan could have worked, but it didn’t. We got up early Sunday morning, allowing for plenty of time to have a nice breakfast at McDonald’s on our way to catch our flight. We got to the airport and headed for security. With no bags, and our boarding passes already printed, we were sure to have plenty of time for a 2nd cup of coffee before boarding. This is where our plan started to crumble a little.

It took 1 1/2 hours to get through security. We ran to the gate, but with four minutes to spare, I stopped at the lady’s room. I felt terrible when I got to the gate and Kip was standing there by himself, and the gate was closed. They closed it four minutes early according to our watches, but we had no voice in the situation. (It was already closed when Kip got there so I wouldn’t have had to feel terrible.)

Kip on the escalator

We were told that we could try to go standby on the next flight leaving 3 hours later, but it was a full flight, so the likelihood of our getting on was slim. We calculated our time and decided we could still get to the party on time, and after all, we had invested so much time already, it just wouldn’t make sense not to try. We got on the flight.

I called Gus and he whipped in to pick us up. What a guy he is. He had an ice chest with cold bottles of water, bran muffins from the bakery, yogurt and bananas. We got to the party about 3:15 and had a wonderful time for about 2 hours. Then we headed back to the airport.

This is the only picture I got of Gus.

Gus dropped us off and we got all checked in and had time to grab some food because we hadn’t had enough time to partake of much of the wonderful food served at the birthday party. When we finished, I glanced at the board which showed our flight would be delayed 2 hours. I got very upset because I knew we only had an hour layover in Phoenix and we wouldn’t be able to catch our connecting flight. A young man overheard me, and calmed me down by reminding me the plane landed in Phoenix, but we didn’t deplane. Oh..okay..We got on the plane and settled in, then we heard a voice say, “This plane will land in Phoenix, but it will then go on to Baltimore. If you are continuing on to Dallas, you will catch a connecting flight that as of right now, is leaving from gate A 8. No one could tell us what time that flight would be leaving from gate A 8.

We got off the plane in Phoenix and in complete good faith headed for gate A 8. It was Kip and I, and about 30 other people who were all ahead of us. We waited to hear what our new fate would be. They gave us a voucher for the Double Tree Hotel, which Mom used to call the Twin Bushes, and another voucher for $24.00 that we could use for food at the airport. I didn’t need that because I was still carrying around 3 leftover slices of pizza and 1/2 of a Cinnabon roll). They gave us a number to call for the hotel shuttle.

 

This was very good pizza, but I can’t remember where I left it.

We finally got to the hotel, where they gave us our two warm chocolate chip cookies, which eased the pain some. We scheduled a shuttle to get us back to the airport for a 6:45 flight, and fell on the bed to watch a little news before going to sleep. Wait.. Sleep?? Kip said, “Let’s see..how long do we get to sleep before the wake-up call?” Kip always counts time.. 10 to 11, 11 to 12, and so on. He said, “1 to 2, 2 to 3…That’s it? We get to sleep for 2 hours?” That struck me funny and I couldn’t stop laughing.

We got on the shuttle at 4:00 a.m. The driver handed each of us a cold bottle of water, which I put in my extra large purse, (no luggage remember). We got to the pre-check area and did not have to take our shoes off because we were smart enough to do the early check-in and had our boarding passes on our cell phones. I put my purse on the conveyor belt and walked through the check point without setting off any alarms and we were good to go.. Well, not quite.

This is the only picture of me..on the escalator at the airport after the security situation.

“Ma’am!! Ma’am!!” I heard. “Do you have 2 bottles of water in your purse?”

“Oh, yeah,” I said. “Just throw them out. I forgot.”

All of a sudden I was picked out of the crowd to go back through the check point, take my shoes off, stand with my arms above my head until someone told me I could come out the other side, where a very nice officer was putting on her plastic gloves while she told me she was going to “check out” a couple of areas that looked funny on the X Ray machine. Kip was standing there holding my purse and looking at his watch hoping we would still have time to spend the $24 voucher we still had on breakfast. Even after waiting for my shoes to be inspected by two different people, we had time to eat.

We are home now. Kip has been napping for 4 hours. I however, remain wide awake. Some of you might remember that when stressed, Murdo Girl gets a nervous tick in her right eye. It’s ticking like a time bomb right now.

I just listened to a voice mail from my brother who apparently talked to Gus. He wanted me to know he was laughing, and there was no need to call him back.

I can tell you one other thing. American Airlines won’t be seeing me for a very long time. I went out and kissed my RV when I got home.

I almost forgot. I did make one good decision. I didn’t wear my white capris. I wore black ones, for which I am very thankful.

We’re not having fun, fun, fun, since Ruben took the convertible away!

When I first heard Lav and Yram were going to take a road trip, I was firm in my resolve not to document it. I thought like most of their ideas, this too would blow over. I should have listened to my Psyche. Unfortunately, my Psyche isn’t any smarter than my Psycho. So here is the beginning of what could be a very long summer. 

Lav: on the phone with Yram: Guess what Yram..I just talked to Ruben at the Pioneer Auto Museum and he said we could come and pick up the red convertible tomorrow. We get to take it on our road trip.

 

Yram: Get outta here! Who is Ruben?

Lav: You know Ruben, he’s the guy who answers the phone at the museum. He said he’d have the car all ready for us about 12ish.

Yram: You mean as in noonish?

Lav: No as in midnightish. He said something about under cover of darkness. If there’s a full moon then we have to wait a few days. Like I always say, “never look a horse-powered gift in the mouth.”

Yram: I’m in..I’ll meet you there at 11:45ish.

Lav: 10-4..and Yram..Wear black.

I guess it’s true what they say, “The Lord looks after small children and the clueless.” Yram and Lav managed to get the red convertible out of the museum and on the road. Well…sort of.

Yram: So I guess Ruben didn’t mention that we had to take the parts and pieces of the red convertible to some unnamed place to get it fixed before we could drive it. Did he give us the wheels? I didn’t see any wheels.

Lav: Well, he was right about one thing. He said the convertible would get good gas mileage. I don’t know about this old Ford truck though. He said it would go through gas like a physic. What is a physic Yram?

Yram: I’ll look it up…physic is an over-the-counter medication for constipation….It’s going to need a lot of gas Lav. I guess we better start looking for small jobs we can pick up along the way. Hey Look! There’s a help wanted sign. Pull over Lav.

Lav: But we’re not even out of Murdo yet Yram. I’m bummed. What kind of job is it?

Yram: Looks like a pizza place. P-R-A-I-R-I-E Pizza. Yup anybody can make pizza. I’ll make it and you can deliver it.

 

The next day…

Lav: I don’t get why we got fired. Do you Yram?

Yram: No Lav…They ordered one pepperoni pizza and that’s what we delivered.

Lav: How much was the final paycheck? We’re almost out of gas.

Yram: We each got $7.00 and the one pepperoni pizza…we better start looking for bottles and cans along the road. $14.00 won’t even get us to Kadoka. Maybe we can get jobs there that better meet our qualifications. I’m a crack-up reporter you know. 

Lav: I have lots of work experience.

Yram: Really Lav? How much do tumbleweeds “rake” in these days?

Lav: Probably about as much as you made wearing bunny ears to read at story hour.

 

I have never been fired from a babysitting job..know any kids?

Babysitting?

Is it all clear Yram? Yup Lav, put the pedal to the metal..If they see us getting smaller it’s cause we’re leavin…

Kadoka..Here we come!!

I shoulda seen them coming

 

 

Once upon a time, long ago, (yesterday), legend has it that three chiefs and three beautiful princesses, packed up their mobile teepees and caravanned across dangerous lands to a place called Albany, Texas, to see a thing called FANdangle. (The emphasis is on Fan.)

Before I tell you about the awesomeness and the pageantry of Fandangle, I’ll give you a little folklore, which means background info, on the three adventuresome trail blazing couples.

First, we have Chief Rain in the Face, who arrived at camp Ft. Griffin obviously hot under his headdress. It seems he washed his many horse-powered transportation right before beginning his journey, only to come upon a couple of miles of dirt road due to trail construction. If that wasn’t bad enough, he got behind a water-spraying covered wagon…hence the name, Rain in the Face, which  sounds more dignified than, Water and Dirt on the Horses.

The chief brought, She Who Must be Obeyed with him, mainly because she knows her way around a teepee and makes great seafood dishes. She is a retired code talker, which is code talk for teacher.

Chief Runs a Muck brought Princess Pass the Piece-pipe. Say that three times really fast. Her main job is to clean up the teepee after Chief Runs a Muck makes his favorite strawberry ice cream. She also helps with Buddy the canine who spends his days guarding the campsite and his nights tolerating Punkin and I can’t remember the other cat’s name, but it also starts with a P.

Last, we have Chief Eats a Lot with Princess Doesn’t have a Clue. Seriously, she doesn’t know the difference between a teepee and a wigwam. She spends her days scrounging around for food because Chief Eats a Lot...eats a lot.

Back to the Fandangle.

The three aforementioned couples had a fabulous time. We toured Ft. Griffin with Eric, who shared a wealth of information with us. The RV Park in Griffin State Park was great… (See the sunset below.)

We saw the Fandangle parade where we listened to the calliope, and watched as beautiful horses passed by. Some were pulling wagons or proudly carrying riders holding flags. Others were ridden by women wearing costumes of the times.

The Jailhouse Museum and the Courthouse are really something to see, and the shops downtown are fun to explore. The pharmacy complete with a full service soda fountain is an experience you won’t want to miss.

We attended Church services where we were treated to the sounds of a beautiful pipe organ, not to mention a thought provoking sermon. I could go on and on about the town of Albany and it’s family oriented community.

The Fandangle is an experience like none other. Give yourself the gift of seeing the magic of the performances of a few hundred Albany residents. The ages of the talented participants range from three months to ninety-eight.

(These beautiful Longhorns are featured in the show.)

The story the narrators and the music tells is steeped in history and laced with pride and love. Fandangle is always the last two week-ends in June so there are shows next Friday and Saturday evening. The outdoor setting is beautiful and the music is incredible. The many prop changes are totally seamless.

Thank you Pat and Jerry Davis for suggesting this might be a fun outing for our little group of RVers, and many thanks to Jeff and Gaye Davis. They made our trip even more special by giving us the rundown on all there was to do. I don’t think we missed much. Their family, including Nolan and Lori, has been a part of Fandangle for over a dozen years. We were all invited to their beautiful home for lunch. Chief Eats a Lot loved it!

I think it goes without saying the three chiefs and three princesses, along with thousands of others, are big fans of Fandangle.

In case you haven’t heard, we got bumped down to the old grade school building. We call it The Whiteboard House. We have loads of do it yourself self help classes you can attend for a very reasonable fee. How does $0.00 sound to you? We won’t be able to offer these high quality classes for nothing for very long, so do your helpless self a favor and sign up before the cost becomes prohibitive.

The following do it yourself self help classes are currently available at the Whiteboard House

Lav is teaching: Life beyond the red convertible…This is a mental health issue many like Lav struggle with. Just when you think you’ve got it under control, a red convertible passes you, and you run after it like a dog. It can literally take seven years off your life. This class is for those without money who need help. If you’ve got money, then just buy yourself a red convertible. How’s that for a DIY solution. If you’re not flush enough, then take the class. You simply cannot avoid red convertibles the rest of your life. In the meantime, DO NOT VISIT THE PIONEER AUTO MUSEUM.

Sherri, the photographic drawer is teaching: DIY mug shots…You can draw your own mug or someone else’s. Sherri is a real what you call…rule follower. She makes even the most dangerous criminals sign a waiver before she draws their photographic mug. Anyway, you might learn something..I don’t really know. Bring a number 2 pencil and a box of freezer wrap. You’ll need that to mark the feet and inches of the perps you draw…and masking tape..you’ll need that to tape your chart up.

Queen E is teaching: Those who can’t do teach...It’s all about saving money. I know there is no charge for our DIY classes, but time is money right? She goes on and on and on about how to save your money…Just never have any with you …it’s as simple as that. A picture is worth a thousand DIY classes.

 

We have so much more to offer, but I have just been informed that The Murdo Coyote Newspaper has cut us off for this week. I guess they don’t know that ads for our zero cost DIY help yourself classes are PSA’s. Oh well, we at the Whiteboard House pick our battles. When we start charging, we will offer buy one and get another for a penny. Watch for our advertisements.

Our clinically proven motto is: If you point a finger at someself, there are 3 or 4 more pointing back at your DIY.

The local HyVee…I don’t think it matters what day it is.

 

I wonder what these guys are doing. Let’s listen in.

Chris: Hey Mick..what time is it?

Mick: It’s five minutes later than the last time you asked me Chris.

Gordon: Hey Mick..Why wouldn’t you tell Chris what time it is?

Mick: Because, he needs to learn how to tell time.

Roy: Jeez Gordon, are you trying to start something?

Gordon: What?

Frank: Didn’t we just have this same conversation yesterday?

Tom: No, I think it was the day before.

Roy: Hmm..I must not have been here.

Gordon: Yes you were Roy. I remember that shirt.

Roy: Oh yeah, that’s right. I like this shirt.

Chris: Hey Mick..What time is it?

Mick: Chris, why do you need to know what time it is all the time?

Gordon: Can I tell him?

Mick: Tell him what?

Frank: It sure is.

Roy: It sure is what Frank?

Frank: It sure is the same conversation we had day before yesterday. Roy had the same shirt on, and Chris kept asking what time it was.

Tom: Then what happened Frank?

Frank: I think the waitress came over and asked us how long our wives said we had to be gone.

Chris: She sure did. She said it was 10:00 o’clock.

Mick: Oh good, we can go home now.

Guy from Philip: See ya all tomorrow?

Roy, Frank, Tom, Chris, and Gordon: Yup…God willing and the creek don’t rise. Don’t forget your coffee cup.

Mick: Tomorrow we’ll talk about Billy Francis. Remember him?

Frank: Nah, we had that conversation yesterday

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Some of these guys went to school with my brother. The class of 62 had 23 graduates. There were 18 boys and 5 girls. All but one learned how to tell time.