There will be a help yourself self-help staff meeting at 1300 hours today
Where: The Whiteboard House…The 8th grade classroom
Why: Because I said so that’s why!..(just kidding, I’ve always wanted to say that.)…all staff members must come prepared to throw out some ideas for help yourself self-help classes that will help all the town’s people to help themselves. Any and all suggestions will be entertaining.
Next on the agenda will be a motivational speaker, followed by a Q and A session. After that, you can all help yourself to coffee and cookies.
THE 8TH GRADE CLASSROOM 1300 HOURS
Murdo Girl: Thanks Self-Help Staff for getting yourself here. I passed a couple of classmates on the stairs. They were resting. We can’t have people laying around on the stairs, so until we’re all able to make it up here without needing an oxygen mask, we will not be helping ourselves to cookies. That brings up another issue. We may have to cut out the coffee too. Keep in mind the little, and I mean little, bathrooms are all the way down all those stairs, and you will have to bring yourself all the way back up. Now are there any questions before we get started? Yes Jerry..
Jerry: Why don’t we just help ourselves to the first grade room? It’s close to the entrance which is good for me, cause I live right across the street, and the little, little bathrooms are close too. I don’t have to count beans anymore do I? Talk about helping yourselves to stuff, we had a lot of beans go missing at the last place I worked.
Murdo Girl: No you won’t have to count beans. Have you got a self-help class idea we can help ourselves to?
Jerry: Well yes I do. I’m going to teach people to self help themselves to overcome mosquitoes and fleas. I’m going to call it…Jerry’s Mosquito and Fleato…
nomore. It’s a dream come true for me. I’ve always hated bugs of any kind.
Pico: I don’t know Jerry, it sounds kind of seasonal to me.
DM: Now Pico, you might should worry about your own help yourself self- help class. It won’t be easy with initials like P.I.C.O.
Pico: Jerry’s not the only one with a dream. I will be teaching Private Investigator COdependency classes.
TC: You’re going to teach people how to spy on themselves to discover codependency issues? Sounds like fun! Where do I sign up? I’m tired of town crying alone. Do I have to wear cheese on my head?
Treason: I’m feeling a little overwhelmed. May I be excused to use the little, little girl’s room?
Murdo Girl: Help yourself Treason. We will adjourn for a 15 minute recess after-which we will reconvene in the convenient first grade room. Good idea Jerry. Do I have a volunteer to ring the self-help bell?
Well it appears the plan for a Whiteboard House full of help yourself self-help classes is moving right along. When the bell rings, we’ll listen to the surprise motivational speaker.
MG: As soon as Coach Applefloor arrives to give his motivational speech intended to fire us up and inspire us to help the whole town self-help themselves, we will continue. What is it Lav?
Lav: I saw Coach Applefloor at recess. He helped himself to a little tether ball contest. That tether ball pole is for real short kids. The Coach has to stoop way down to hit the ball. He’s ahead 3-2 though.
Murdo Girl: What? Who is he playing?
Lav: Yram Sicnarf ..and she’s whining and complaining.
DM: Oh great!! Sounds like she’s still trying to convince everybody she’s athletic. Another restraining order.. coming up!! Pico..Are you going to have a Dick Tracy decoder ring? I can be a self-help Detective… Detective Man!!!
Kids: We don’t have to go to school anymore? Queen E: I’m just resting on the stairs