Murdo Girl…A Queen’s nightmare

I was having this lovely dream about Queen E. the other night, when suddenly, it turned into a nightmare! Take a look!

“Before you curtsey, please say, Timber!!!”

“I love you to the moon and back!”

“Phillip…Does this outfit make me look pink?”

“What? No service?”

“I seem to have misplaced my crown.”

“I’m Angela Landsbury, and no, I didn’t write the Sweet Potato Queen, book.”

“I think I’ll order a double cheeseburger and a large order of sweet potato fries. Ask Burger Queen if twins eat free?”

“Sweet Potato Fries? Really Mother!”

MG says, “I swear I don’t know anything about Sweet Potato Queens, I just work here!”

Lav says, “Eat more Chicken!”

“I must get these BK monkeys off my back. I’m starting to look like a sweet potato!”

Murdo Girl…A get well card

It seems that nowadays when our friends all get together,

All we ever talk about is who’s under the weather.

One friend just got well, while two more are feeling sickly.

One is out of surgery…another goes in quickly.

Sorry, Pat! Yours was the only pic I could find in a hospital bed. At least you look cute!

Someone took a fall. Did they break a hip or leg?

Or did they hit their head and now sport a big goose egg?

One had a bad reaction to the medication.

A couple got food poisoning while they were on vacation.

With all the body parts we’ve had removed and/or replaced,

It’s a wonder we’re still standing. Just think of all we’ve faced.

We see doctor after doctor, and drive to and from each day.

And morning, noon and night, we all take time to pray…

That most of our health issues are satisfactorily resolved,

Before all of our children start getting too involved.

If health concerns have now become a constant in our life,

and some of us continue to go under the ol’ knife.

We’ll take care of each other, because we’re all dear friends,

And because we’re in His hands, our fear soon ends.

So live life to the fullest. Eat dessert before your meal.

Go ahead! Buy green bananas! Just don’t slip on a banana peel.

Keep a song in your heart and a smile on your face,

And a friend’s number in your pocket…just in case!

A field of wildflowers (Indian Paintbrush) near our walking trail in Mabank.

Murdo Girl…Big Time Retraction!

I am so sorry!! Remember the blog I wrote about the books I bought at the resource center? The Erma Bombeck book was the only one I had read. I had leafed through the Sweet Potato Queen book, but I only read some of the recipes.

Last night, thinking it might have some cute stories in it, I read a few pages only to find out it’s full of smutty stories. I was horrified and I have been trying to figure out a way to tell you all this. I sure do not want to add fuel to the fire, but I must admit my mistake.

Murdo Girl in no way supports that book or any other book with the sweet potato queens in it, and though I love baked sweet potatoes, I may never eat them again.

Please accept my deepest and most sincere apology. Next time, I will read first.

Learned my lesson,

MG

This morning’s sunrise…

Murdo Girl…Pearl branches out

Well, I’m on my way over to walk Pearl the dog. Pearl and Grace have already gone on to The Busy Nest, which is what Pearl calls her store since she tired of calling it “The Business” and figured the place should have a name. But guess what? Pearl got a new winner of an idea. She was still selling Elixerfixer right along, but she said she needed a new frontier to conquer, so she has expanded her umbrella of services to include weddings. It seemed like the perfect fit and a way to bump up the finances and grow the goodwill in the community at the same time…. and… since Grace was already writing an advice column for the newspaper, Pearl said she could incorporate her advising thoughts and provide before and after marriage counseling. She figured, and rightfully so, that Grace couldn’t cause more marriages not to take hold than the unsolicited advice of people who stick their nose into other people’s marital goings on, and have no practical experience telling people what to do like Grace does.

Some figured the local preachers would be up in arms because they were losing out on some of their congregation’s nuptuals, but they decided to let if ride for July and August. It had been tense at times in June with the church basement cooks and they could use some much needed time off. It was getting overwhelming taking care of funeral food, and wedding receptions, not to mention, Lions ‘s Club and other social functions held there. The Yoga/pottery wheel class, inspired by that Ghost movie that finally made it to town, had to move over to the bank’s basement just to keep their time slot.

Anyway, I’ve been multitasking while catching you up on things and I’ve already taken Pearl for her walk. Now, I’m headed for the Busy Nest. I’m not there yet, but I almost am.

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“Hi Grace, Hi Pearl, I’m here, are you?” (I smell orange blossoms. There’s either a wedding today, or Pearl’s added a new flavor of the day to her Elixerfixer promotion.)

“Essie! Grace needs you! She’s got a new bride in her office who’s wailing her head off. I just don’t have the patience to suffer other people’s misery. I don’t even want to see them again after they say their vows.”

“Hi Mrs. Smith. Remember me? I’m Ellie/Essie depending on who you’re talking to. What has you in such a dither?”

“Frank and I were only married for two days when he caught a cold. I tell you, he turned into a different person. He has run me ragged! Do you here me? Ragged! It’s my fault the heating pad is too hot on high and not hot enough on medium. He said I put the ice in the ice pack wrong. He thinks there’s something not right about someone who can’t count out seventeen ice cubes. He moans like he’s about to take his last painful breath and just now, he sent me to the store to pick up a bell he can ring when he needs me. I came here instead! What should I do?”

“CALL HIS MOTHER!!” Pearl yelled from the other room. “And then go to the yoga/pottery wheel class. It starts in an hour!”

Murdo Girl…Resourceful reading

I just happened to be looking through some books at the local resource center the other day and picked out four books that, for one reason or another, caught my eye. When I got home with them, I was pleasantly surprised that only one of them was a throw-away. The name of it is, Horns & Wrinkles, which sounded to me like it might be about mean, old people. I could really get into the psychology of that, but it turned out to be about trolls. I don’t know anything about trolls, so I went on to book number two, which is called, “The History of Farting.” I gave that one to a friend only because she knows someone who is fascinated with farting, (true story), and she’s going to give it to her as a special gift. I know she appreciated the gesture. It’s hard to find the perfect gift. (I did leaf through it a bit and it looks like it was well researched.)

The third book, God Save the Sweet Potato Queens, is a keeper if only because of the title. I think it’s a true story, and I like humorous stories that are nonfiction. I also have a special affinity to Queendom of any kind. There is a chapter called Death-Defying Recipes, so named because many of the dishes are made for funerals. We all know funeral food is usually some of the best you’ll ever eat. Remember the Methodist Church Basement cooks I talk about in my stories? They serve only the best casseroles. I was once kicked out of the church kitchen for daring to suggest using instant potatoes to top the highly appropriate for funeral fare… shepherd’s pie. By the way, after reading some of the recipe’s, I agree that some of them can serve a dual purpose. If there is a Horned and Wrinkled person in your life, with a bad heart, and they happen to be rich, and you are the heir, it could also hasten someone’s demise. They can’t put you in the penitentiary for serving a casserole with a pound of bacon and a bottle of mayo in it…can they?

Now to the fourth book. It’s a real winner and worth ten times the amount I paid for all four books. I have two author/heroines now. The book I picked up is called, Forever Erma, and it’s a collection of the best of Erma Bombeck. What a talented humorist…the book is 273 pages of hilarity.


Anyway, she  about how enterprising one of her children was when he was little. He sold his parent’s cancelled checks door to door and figured out if he sneezed on his brother’s cupcake, he could get an extra serving of dessert. I have no idea why this print turned red, but I’ve tried three times to turn it back to black and it’s not working. I have to leave now, anyway. I volunteered to help with a field day at the library. This is my second day to help 60 seven year old kids make things they swing in the air. There are a lot of parts, glue and rubber bands involved. I’m sure the moms will love them.

Have a great day. The print turned black again…go figure!

Murdo Girl…I’m made of money

I get emails from people who are trying very hard to find a way for me to make money writing. I know they’re sincere. Why else would they be so persistent? I don’t know how they came to know about me, but there is a bunch of helpful people out there. I must confess, I don’t read all of the emails, but I do save them to read at a later time. Oh my, I just looked and there are two thousand and four of them. I decided, that rather than saving more, I would read today’s suggestions.

Did you know the books that are on fire right now are horror stories. Yes…if I write a real scary story, I could make millions. I don’t even have to know that much about horror to write a marketable story. All I have to do is pay $365 in 3 installments to learn how. If it were 6 installments, I might consider it, but since this is the first of the two thousand and four emails that I have actually read, I think I should go back and look for something that will make me rich for a more reasonable fee.

Here’s one that’s pretty interesting. How to Sell Your Story to Hollywood!
(or: What Will Doom It to Eternal Obscurity) 

Ken is going to host a webinar. He has sort of produced thirty movies. He could very well make my book into a Hollywood hit! I’m thinking, “The Beasterhop goes to Hollywood” has a ring to it. Ken will teach me how to turn my manuscript into a movie script for a fee of $699.00…up front!

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This email caught my eye…

Hi,

As you know I’m a big fan of reading biographies and autobiographies of great authors.

I’ve found that you can often learn a lot by studying the lives of writers.

Well, the other day I learnt another great tip, and I want to share it with you.

I replied to his email. I said for a fee of $200 paid in 3 easy monthly installments, I would teach him what I have learnt about the importance of editing.

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You know what they say. “Those who can’t do, teach.”

I’ve read twenty-five from the two thousand and four helpful people and call me cynical, but I haven’t found anything I can take to the bank.

Guess I’ll go back and work on my vision board…but first I have to drive over to the gas station and get my Lotto Texas winning ticket. There-in lies my hope…

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One more thing…My skin looks so much better than it did in that photo taken with my head in the money in 2017. I think my teeth are whiter, too.

Murdo Girl…Going to the dogs

We took our three aging dogs to have their teeth cleaned, yesterday. They were anesthetized so they felt no pain during or after the procedure. I should allow spellcheck to change that to pricedure. The dogs are fine, but Kip and I are in excruciating pain. It hurts to spit nails.

When we went to pick our babies up, the nice girl at the front desk said Pattie lost one tooth and Sammie lost four. Cyndie has great teeth, but her gums were slightly irritated.

We listened to the rundown and then Kip bellied up to the counter and asked,”How much?”

I never realized how two words could clear a room so fast. Suddenly, the poor receptionist was the only one to be seen. She must have drawn the short straw. All the other helpers became busy elsewhere. Even the two people waiting to buy flea pills ran out when they heard the amount.

I’m not going to tell you how much we paid, but if you see a for sale sign in my Jeep, you’ll know why.

The whole experience reminds me of the time we paid $300.00 to have a bladder stone removed from our son’s 3 foot long, iguana. The vet wanted to know if she could keep it. She said she rarely had the opportunity to operate on an iguana. Kip kept the costly stone in a jar for years. It’s gone now. A casualty of minimalization.

If you’re tempted to ask us why we don’t inquire about the vet fee ahead of time, bite your tongue. Nobody likes to look foolish in front of their friends. And if you ask us what we paid, we’ll have to reconsider our friendship. No one likes to appear stupid, either.

Yes our dogs can chew steak now… however, we’ll all be eating beans. That is, everyone but the vet. When you have three dogs, they see you coming. We all left with our tails between our legs.

Murdo Girl…It’s a start

I’ll tell you what! This vision board project is not easy. It sounded simple enough to design a poster board depicting my life at a point where everything is as it should be… but when I actually started to put it together, it got complicated.

I started with an unprioritized list of things that are super important to me. Then I thought about how I am currently fitting them into my life.

Do I give things that aren’t on my list too much time?

When I think about the things that I have listed, how do I feel? Do I feel satisfaction, frustration, happiness, guilt, fulfillment?

Here’s my start…the next step will be to make a poster that represents a clearer vision of a life organized around the things I’ve deemed important. (Though not mentioned, Kip is a given in all of this.)

Faith and beliefs – to be honored for sure!
Family – What do I want my relationships with my family and extended family to look like? What can I do differently to strengthen those ties?
Pet family – not many changes to make here…walk them more?
( I just noticed the typo on this Walmart pillow.) I’m having difficulty finding my grandma niche…How do I foster a closer relationship with 8 grandchildren and 4 great grandkids? I don’t live down the street like my Sanderson grandparents did.
Family of friends – I have amazing friends. How can I give back?
Home – Is it minimalistic enough? Is it welcoming to family and friends?
Travel – More! More! More!
Writing ***My heroine’s first book was roundly rejected by publishers. After working on it a few more years, She finally got it published when she was in her mid-sixties. Lack of focus is a big issue for me. Too many projects and not enough follow-up and follow-through. I can’t wait to see how this will look on my utopia poster.
Murdo Girl Blog – ?
And all the fun that goes with it…
My little side business -?
How do I best use the resources I have to reach my goals and make my dreams come true?

Murdo Girl…A town called Trickledown

I moved away from the town I grew up in years ago, but sometimes I reflect on what my life was like there and wonder if I should have stayed.

It seems that everybody wants to know where everyone else grew up. When I tell people I was born and raised in a town called Trickledown, they want to know how in the world the founders came up with a name like that!

I’ve heard a few stories, but the one that people repeat the most, is the one I usually tell folks. First, I’ll give you a little history of how the town came to be.

I’m a third generation Trickledowner, so my accounting will be somewhat subjective. Facts will be intermingled with folklore. I’ve also been gone for twenty years.

For a couple of decades, the place was nothing more than a wide spot in the road where people came to sell or trade whatever they had been able to grow on their land during the reasonably warm spring and summer months. They called it truck farming and it was the only thing that kept families going while they put together a temporary sod house, accumulated some livestock, and figured out how they were going to keep everything including themselves alive through the bitter cold days that would begin shortly after fall arrived.

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Trickledown wasn’t like most other places people traveled great distances to homestead. Other parts of the country saw the leaves on the trees turn beautiful shades of red, orange and yellow in the fall. The leaves that were unlucky enough to be on a tree around what would be known as Trickledown, turned brown and blew away in a day or two. It was as if they knew it didn’t make sense to stick around and become nothing but frozen fodder trapped between cold, lifeless, tundra and hardened banks of snow.

The farmers and ranchers who settled in the area were those who were late to the game. The sign outside of town said, “Many passed through, but nobody stayed.”

Many of the families who dreamed of owning their own land didn’t stick around after experiencing their first winter. The ones who made it through the second, were tough, hardheaded, tenacious and extremely committed. I will include the women, children, cattle, horses, dogs and any other living thing in the category of, do’r die’rs.

Even so, it wasn’t long before a certain hierarchy formed. Five or six ranchers, who with their families, had stuck it out the full five years, which was the requirement to own the land they homesteaded, began to meet on a regular basis; ostensibly to plan the future of the little settlement.

One of the first buildings to go up was the school house. It was a small, square, structure. The unique feature was the second story. The idea wasn’t to make room for overcrowding, but to provide a small teacher’s quarters. They all figured it would take some added incentive to get a good teacher to live in Trickledown.

Both the school room and the quarters had a wood burning stove. If the pull-down ladder was down, and the hatch was open, the rising warm air from the schoolroom in addition to the stove going upstairs, would keep the quarters pretty warm. In the beginning, before a teacher was found, the ruling ranchers were very comfortable while holding their meetings up there.

20190405_2115468956784815027647843.jpg The building was perched on the side of a lonely hill so it also served as a lookout for any bad weather coming in… and a few other things. It was a widely known secret that more than a few hands of poker were dealt up there. Along with the cards, an occasional jug of moonshine, obtained by trading some of those valuable vegetables, was passed around. The men swore they were only thinking of the possible need to escape quickly when they put in a door to the outside leading to a small platform. Instead of stairs, they put a pole with places to put one’s feet and hands while climbing quickly down to safety. Coincidentally, the outhouse was only a few feet away from the pole.

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Not wanting to have all the fruits of their labor thrown down the gullets of their men, a few of the local rancher’s wives had a meeting of their own, and devised a plot to kill their husband’s buzz.

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It seems one of the plants that flourished in the gardens, but didn’t sell or trade very well, acted as a potent physic, (an old fashioned term for laxative). It was remarkably easy for the ladies to intercept the vile moonshine and add their own contribution to the mix. Soon, sliding down the pole, using the outhouse, and then climbing back up, interfered with the hierarchy conducting any business, such as naming the town. On the plus side, they were outside more than inside enjoying the comfort of the two-stove schoolhouse. Consequently, in addition to being cold they were worn out.

It must have been somewhat satisfying, yet difficult not to snicker, when those ladies watched their starving men gulp down a good meal, knowing it would be trickling down soon and they would be back out in the cold.

In the end, It was the rancher’s wives who came up with the town’s name. Trickledown had a ring to it, and it would be a constant reminder of the real value of a vegetable.