MurdoGirl… Pierre..Here we come

Here’s a quick update on the HaHa Sisterhood. Windy Lindy Bergh and Airy Heart never could get their old rundown airplane off the ground, so they traded it in on a newer model… and just in time. The sisterhood decided to move on from the unhaunted house. Well, actually, they got kicked out. Apparently, ghosts don’t like squatters, even if they are members of the HaHa Sisterhood. 

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Windy: We got us a biplane, Airy! We’ve got wings to fly and lots of sky.

Airy: Yup, Windy! A new biplane. We can fly again!

Windy and Airy both get into the cockpit of their new biplane. They seem a little confused.

Windy: I wonder what all these knobby things are? Is there a user’s manual in the glove compartment, Airy?

Airy: I don’t see a glove compartment, Look under the seat, Windy.

Windy: Not there…Oh well, It can’t be that hard. It won’t be the first time we’ve had to fly by the seat of our pants…right, Airy? Remember that time we flew upside down all the way across the pond? That was before I got my eyes fixed.

Airy: Nope, I mean, Yup! Hey, this thing has two steering wheels. I’ll steer and you run the pedals. Where are we going, anyway?

Suddenly, they hear a noise in the backseat…They’re still kind of spooked from living in the unhaunted house….ever so slowly they turn to see what made the noise.

wp-1533086875457.jpgThey are shocked to see two apparent freeloaders sharing the bi part of the biplane. This could be a problem.

Windy: Who goes there!

Airy: Who are you and how did you get in here?

Windy: Jeez, Airy. It’s easy to get into, remember? I’m a little worried about getting back out, though!

Airy: Hey Windy…I think it’s MG and Lav. I thought they were locked in a dungeon.

Windy: Oh yay! This will be fun, fun, fun for everyone…crisis averted. Let’s fire this thing up!

wp-1533088632378.jpgLav: Would you two mind flying us to the South Dakota State Capital? MG just won a free trip, there. You’ll fly us there free, right?

MG: Yes, I won the contest. I’m a winner.

Windy: What about all of the other HaHa’s? Are they going too?

MG: Yup…They’re on their way. It should be a real educational trip!

So off they go into the wild blue yonder… flying high into the sky, (maybe), on another adventure.

To the Gov and the Lt. Gov, at the South Dakota State Capital in Pierre, South Dakota…Leave the light on. You’re about to get a visit from the HaHa Sisterhood, and a couple of Queens.

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Gus: It’s all your doing, Billy. You and your crazy card contest.

Billy: I thought you liked reading about Windy and Airy. Go ahead and take the bike…I’ll walk. I hear crazy is that way, and I’m not going there.

Pattycake: Hey! wait for meeeeeeee…

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Lav: Wow! What a view! Look! The HaHa’s are coming down Main Street! Isn’t that where Windy and Airy landed our biplane?

Murdo Girl…Word of the day

She can be prim and proper, or a real show stopper

But no matter what she does, she’s always short!

She’s usually delightful… astoundingly insightful

And even though she’s short, she’s a good sport!

If you’re a funny nut, or a real pain in the butt

She’ll tell you that she loves you all the same!

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Even though she’d rather, put puzzles together

 She also likes to play those lame card games! 

She laughs at all your jokes…hates all egg whites and yolks

She eats pizza, but says, “Hold the cheese!”

If she needs some chilling out, you might see her airing out

And if she shouts, “Get out of my way!!” Don’t wait for, “Please!!!”

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The word of the day is… chilling out

 

 

Murdo Girl… Front page news..Billy’s decision

APB Presser: The following is an exclusive report obtained by Yram Sicnarf, Crack-Up Reporter, as run in/on all of the national publications, a few tweets, gossip rags, and of course several facebook walls. (Pinterest had no interest and the Queen did not return Yram’s calls.) Billy wrote this, himself…

Bill (Billy) Francis’ Selection Committee Picks Murdo Girl’s Birthday Card as the Winner of the “2018 Nasty Birthday Card Contest”

What??? Say that again!!

Bill (Billy) Francis’ Selection Committee Picks Murdo Girl’s Birthday Card as the Winner of the “2018 Nasty Birthday Card Contest”

The selection committee, in a 5 to 4 vote, picked Murdo Girl’s BD Card over LAV’s Card.  However, within minutes the LAV camp filed an official protest, citing possible “collusion” and “excessive lobbying efforts” by the Murdo Girl’s camp.  The contest rules state that an independent arbitrator be selected to make the final ruling.

The arbitrator, after reviewing the file and hearing testimony from both parties, ruled in favor of Murdo Girl.  In the arbitrator’s opinion he (or she) writes that there was no collusion.  The arbitrator did find evidence of lobbying on Murdo Girl’s part, although he/she determined that the lobbying was not “excessive.”
This reporter noted that the number of entries was down from previous years, possibly due to Mr. Francis’ retirement last January.  It seems that there may have been “excessive” encouragement of former employees in the past to submit entries.
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It appears that Lav Yekcel is receiving the dreaded news. Her crown has already lost it’s luster. Is she leaving town?

We think Lav is in seclusion. Her daughter, Caitlin, has been spotted with her mother’s cousin, Billy. Billy has also been seen with Lav’s good friend, Murdoite, Suzanne Brost. What conclusions are we to draw from this? Oh, wait! That picture was taken at the Boulder Boulder in 1995. It appears, Murdo Girl, who was standing on the other side of Suzanne, was cut out of the picture…

 

Meanwhile, Murdo Girl is celebrating with some childhood friends.

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This just in…(from Lav)

I’m going out early tomorrow to shop for a card. I have hired an independent consultant(who looks a lot like the wicked witch of the east/west whatever from The Wizard of Oz) to offer her opinions and channel her anger into the constant search for mean and nasty cards – not dirty ones. The quest continues.

Mary- where did you say you’re taking the committee to dinner? I concede for now.
Val
MG:  Yeah, right…(My card wasn’t dirty, either.)
Someone overeavesdropped and heard the following:
MG: Oh Yay!! I can’t wait to announce this prestigious win on the Murdo Girl blog! Do you mind if I leave out the part about the lack of competition? And can you tell me what put me over the top? Was it the whining or was it the already been scratched off, net zero, bingo lottery ticket? Maybe it was the unique postage stamps…one other question. May I ask who makes up the jaw droppingly astute committee that picked me? I’d like to send them a card.
Speaking of cards, I’m sure glad I didn’t buy a new one. I bought the Bigfoot card for a guy who left town unexpectedly before his birthday.
Love you Bill (Billy) I can’t believe I have a whole year to bask in this big win!

Murdo Girl…I’ll take Grace

Rue Graveoleon…herb of grace

A bad decision would soon evoke

A phrase my mother always spoke

“You’ll rue the day! Mark my word!”

She’d tell me so, but I seldom heard

Her predictions, I would fight

But it usually turned out Mom was right

I wonder if my mother knew the herb-of-grace, is a Rue, too

The #dailyaddiction word of the day is Rue.

Murdo Girl…Snorting is a good thing

DRIVING MISS CRAZY

I’m being driven crazy and I don’t have far to go

When I finally get there, I hope someone lets me know.

I’m not sure if crazy looks like the picture in my head.

Is it something that I did? Or something that I said?

I was doing fine this morning when I dressed myself for church

I found a dress to wear in a quick two minute search.

I was feeling pretty sane for an hour…maybe more

Until my friend, Pat, and I, watched my slip fall to the floor.

It lay there at my feet as if to say, “cut me some slack!

My elasticity is gone, and it isn’t coming back.”

A see-through skirt in church might be rather sordid

Pat didn’t feel my pain… We started laughing til we snorted.

I was reminded of the time I made Bermuda shorts look like a skirt.

I held my legs together until my knock knees began to hurt.

To those driving me crazy, I only have this to say.

I got there a long time ago, crazy’s back the other way.

Murdo Girl…And Lav..Halfway to Hollywood

MG: Hey Lav, I got a call from Biwy.

Lav: Weawy? did he tell you who won the mean contest?

MG: No, but he’s a busy guy. Guess what? He told me to call you and tell you he wants us to pack a few things and he’ll pick us both up tomorrow and take us where there are people who can help us.

Lav: Weawy? Are you thinking what I’m thinking?

MG: Yup! We’re going to Hollywood. We have been discovewed. I mean discovered.

Lav: Are you packing your cwown?

MG: Sure, Lav…Our crowns are part of who we are!

Lav: A lot of people must have watched our videos, huh MG?

MG: Well, Hundreds read the blog, but only four watched our videos. How many does it take to get viral?

Lav: Look on the bright side, MG. The right four people watched and saw how much talent we have.

MG: True… Maybe they enjoyed watching two queens having a good time..kind of like Lucy and Ethel did. Back in the day, people didn’t have the ugly things in this world thrown in their faces every day. They didn’t worry about some people thinking they were a little too crazy. They just wanted to make people laugh without using bad language.

Lav: Yup…I’m sure Lucy and Ethel had someone kind like Billy in their lives who just wanted to help them reach their full potential.I think I said “ain’t” That’s bad.

Happy Birthday Biwy!! See you in the funny papers!

We made you a birthday cake, Biwy. It was delicious!!

We’re ready!

 

Murdo Girl…Happy Birthday Billy…Dilly Dilly

Tomorrow is Billy’s birthday. I’m not sure what he’s doing to celebrate, but cousin Valerie, aka Lav, and I have been preparing and having fun for days. Below are three videos for your enjoyment and Billy’s…or maybe not…

Each year, Lav and I have a contest to see who can find the meanest birthday card for Billy. We’ve already sent this years and we are awaiting his judgement. Billy will read them and let us know who the winner is. I, his little sister, have never won. Last year, cousin Andrea sent one and Billy declared her the winner! This year Lav and I aren’t taking any chances….The rest is YouTubed history.

Below, are recent pictures of Billy and his beautiful family including his precious grandson, Kenzo.

We pause a minute for a short infomercial. We have to pay the bills, you know.

Happy Birthday Billy…Dilly Dilly (song) Don’t worry it’s short.)

 

Lav …Raps Happy birthday Billy…Dilly Dilly (hilarious)

If you made it this far, you are a real trooper. We’ll let you know who won the contest, when all of the precincts are in.

Murdo Girl…Learning the basics

Whenever I have a thought that keeps coming back to me, I eventually have to write about it. I want to make clear that I am only talking about my own experiences, here. This is what I remember about my church going days while growing up in Murdo.

Above is the Methodist Church I went to until they built the new one. I think I was in first or second grade.

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Grandma and Grandpa Sanderson with their six offspring and spouses

Grandpa and Grandma, and usually Aunt Tet, went to the Methodist Church every Sunday, and when they were moved to go to church, everybody in the family, except Aunt Irma and Uncle Jeff, who were Lutherans, went to the Methodist Church. Uncle Wayne and Aunt Emily might have been Lutherans too, but I don’t think they went on Christmas Eve, because they were never late to the family celebration. (Their son, Terry, was quite a few years older than me, so maybe they no longer went to the children’s program on those Christmas Eves I remember.) The Lutheran’s were always late because their Christmas program always went on forever.

My Parents rarely went to church. The only time I remember Dad going was the Sunday I was confirmed. He was embarrassed because I wore an old skirt and blouse. He thought I should have worn a new dress like most of the other girls. I was in the seventh grade. I probably had nice dresses in my closet, but Dad did not like my choice of attire for such an important occasion. He went shopping and brought home a red double-breasted jumper, that had two pleats in the front of the skirt, and a pretty white ruffled blouse. I loved it and wore it often.

The other clothing issue I experienced was when I was around eight and Grandpa announced we were going to Church in Rapid City. I had gone on a trip to the cabin with them and hadn’t packed a dress. I wore a pair of bermuda shorts and held my thighs together, so it would look like I was wearing a skirt. That must have looked really ridiculous, especially when I was walking, but it somehow made me feel less embarrassed.

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Grandpa at the cabin

Though I was far from being a regular, I remember going to Sunday School several times a year. I will have to say, except for Grandpa and Grandma Sanderson, Mrs. Thomas was probably the best example of what a true and kind believer looked like to me. She had a beautiful voice. I still remember all the words to “Jesus Loves the Little Children,” and “All Things Bright and Beautiful.” Both are sweet and reassuring songs for little kids. All these years later, I still remember Mrs. Thomas’ explanations of some of the Bible verses she taught us. It is more difficult for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of God, then it is for a camel to go through the eye of a needle. I imagined a sewing needle, but Mrs. Thomas explained it was a figure of speech that exaggerated for emphasis and that Jesus was saying that it’s impossible for anyone to be saved on their own merits. You just can’t buy your way into heaven.

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The new church was built on the same lot as the old one. The parsonage is next door.

Another Sunday School memory I have is looking around and wondering if the church was ever going to have enough money to finish the basement and the classrooms.

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The church basement cooks

When I was in the second grade, I developed an irrational fear of dying in my sleep. Every night, I faithfully said the prayer, “Now I lay me down to sleep.” I still remember in what order I said the names of the people I wanted God to bless. Billy always made the cut even if he had been mean to me that day. I ended by saying, “In Jesus’ name I pray,” because I heard someone say that if you asked in Jesus’ name your prayers were answered.

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I finally got over my fear of dying in the night. Then, in the fourth grade, I begged Mom to take me to the funeral of a dear old lady who had died in her sleep. That set me back for another year or so.

On two occasions, I recall Mom telling me to go and kneel by my bed and ask forgiveness. Once, was when I threatened to tell the lady who was visiting us, the rather unflattering thing I had heard Mom say about her. I learned two important lessons. It’s not necessary to tell someone things that will hurt them, even if it is true; and mothers do not appreciate their kids trying to teach them a lesson.

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Sunday was never my favorite day back then. Mom and Dad sat around all day and read the paper. I didn’t have anyone to play with because Sunday was “family time” and none of the kids in town could play. Sometimes we would have Grandma and Grandpa over for Sunday dinner, which helped, except when I had to do all the dishes. As far as I was concerned, that ruined my favorite fried chicken, mashed potatoes with gravy, and corn, dinner.

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When I was a teenager, I went to MYF, (Methodist Youth Fellowship). It was great because most of the kids who went were friends and it was the only way they could go anywhere on a weeknight. It was always on Monday night. I don’t remember much about it except standing in a circle at the end of the meeting, holding hands and saying, “May God lift up his countenance upon you, and give you peace.”

Mom always said that being a pallbearer was Grandpa Sanderson’s favorite indoor sport. He lived a long life and I’m sure when the roll is called up yonder, he’s always recognized as a man who lived a good life and helped carry many a casket.

I remember Lois Jaide playing the organ or piano… beautifully. Aunt Elna Miller sometimes sang in the choir.

We had three different ministers during those years . I remember little Kim Lindquist telling a new Methodist minister, who moved in next door, that her family didn’t say, GD-it, anymore.

I remember dying hard-boiled eggs for Easter and wondering why the colored eggs didn’t taste any better than the white ones. Mom went to church on Easter and we always got new hats, gloves, dresses, and shoes. About every other year, we got a new coat.

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Stephanie Miller, Karen Lindquist and me on Easter morning

I remember learning that Jesus died for our sins and I can still see the image I had of Him ascending into heaven on the third day. (My son once drew a picture of Jesus on a donkey. At the bottom, he wrote, “The Lord has ridden.”)

As far as my childhood indoctrination into religion, this is a pretty complete accounting of how I thought of things back then.

I’ll have to go back and read this. I’m sure it will give me something more to think about.

Murdo Girl…The voices

When we last visited the Ha Ha House, the Sisterhood was gathered in the living room getting ready to tell their divine secrets. The plan was to spill their guts in alphabetical order. That’s when it was discovered that A I was missing. Remember…she went ghost hunting? She was trying to help get the sorry excuse for a haunted house, haunted. She found a hard of hearing dog, and a psychotic ghost. They both showed up at the Ha Ha House, but there is still no sign of A I. Do they go on to B? Or do they try to find A I?

Windy: I think we should try to find A I. Let’s start upstairs and work our way down. We’ll look in every nook and cranny.

Just then they all hear a clap of thunder…CLAP…and all of the lights go out!

Airy: Oh, this won’t do at all! I must have lights when I tell my secret. There’s a certain amount of theatrics involved and the audience won’t get the full effect unless they can see my facial expressions. If A I doesn’t show, I’m next…A-i-r-y comes after A I.

Whatever…Jeez (That’s not A I in the middle. It just kinda looks like her.)

Windy: Fear not my flying friend. Have you forgotten I’m the birthday Queen? I always have bithday candles on me. There, it’s lit…now everybody follow me.

The Ha Ha Sisterhood make their way to the stairs and after checking out the upper floor, they head back down to the main floor. As you can see, they’re as nervous as a black cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

J: I didn’t see anything…but then all we have is a birthday candle for light and I’m wearing sunglasses. Do I smell a dog? Or is it a horse?

PG: I don’t smell anything, but speaking of horses, I wonder where Loony and Lav are. I haven’t seen them all day.

KK: When we get to the L’s will Loony and Lav both get to tell their secrets and since I’m KK can I tell two?

Lav is searching for Loony. She is unaware he saw the hunting, not haunting dog, and the psychotic ghost and got spooked. He ran back to the house, and The stupid looking dog followed close behind.

Uh Oh!!!

Lav: Yikes!!! You must be a ghost!! I have my hands up. Please don’t hurt me…love the hat!

Voice 2: Ha Ha Ha…I’m the black sheet of the family. I’m the younger sister of Voice. I followed her here from Florida. She’s bad news.

Later that night…

It appears Voice is floating outside the door to the dungeon. (Every haunted and even nonhaunted houses have a dungeon.) What, pray tell could she be up to?

Voice: Ha Ha Ha…I found myself a couple of Queens. Their red convertible ran out of gas and they were walking along the road trying to hitch a ride to someplace called Murdoelot. I just told them to follow my hat and brought them here. They’re going to find out real quick what happens to Queens where I come from… but not until after the Sisterhood gets to the V’s. I’m going to tell my divine secret. Ha Ha Ha, snort.

Meanwhile, we’ve lost track of the sisterhood. Remember…they were all coming down the stairs.

And where could A I be? Jeez!! It’s not easy being a moderator…

A I: Well, that sure was a dead end. I wonder where the closest gas station is…

****???

Stay tuned…It appears there are more secrets than Carter’s got little liver pills…Ha Ha Ha snort…