Murdo Girl…All for the love of a Bing

I love to travel in the RV and as a matter of fact, Monday morning, Kip and I are headed to Rockport, TX. We are meeting our friends, Molly and Cary, who are wintering there. I’ve never been to Rockport but I hear it’s really nice. I can’t wait.

Sorry for the interruption, but there’s someone knocking at the door.

“Hello, I don’t believe I know you. Are you here to sell me something? I really don’t have the time. I’m writing a story right at the moment. Now, will you excuse me, Miss…Miss whoever you are.

Sicnarf,..Yram Sicnarf …I’m a crack-up reporter, I mean a roving reporter from Fun Barrel. (I changed the name. I got tired of saying our motto is we shoot straight.) I’ve been given an assignment to travel with you to Rock Fort. I’m supposed to document the WHOLE trip. I hope you hang out at the beach a lot.

Well, my name is MG and I don’t recall agreeing to take a roving reporter on our trip. Can I see your credentials?

Yram: My what?

MG: Your credentials…your papers

Yram: Why? I don’t have a single restraining order in Fun Barrel. I do have a few papers from Murdo. The Newspaper I work for said I shouldn’t show my face around the Murdoites for a while. I can’t go to the Black Hills, either. The editor said you owe her one. That’s how I got the roving reporter gig. She said it’s probably better if I stay on the move.

MG: Oh…right. Come on in Yram. Can I get you something? A sweet tea? A peanut butter sandwich? Different hair? Where are you going?

Yram: I need to bring my things into your house. Wow! This place is tiny! You must have to go outside to change your mind.

Yram hauls in three rather large suitcases.

Yram: I sure hope I didn’t forget anything. Once I went off to Murdo and forgot my Bing candy bars. I couldn’t go into any of the stores because of all the restraining orders. Say! would you like a Bing? I have a whole suitcase full. I didn’t know if Rock Fort would have any.

Yram and MG spent the evening in the cottage drinking tea and eating Bings. They discovered they had a lot in common. They both ate all of the chocolate with crushed peanuts that surrounded the cherry mash inside the Bing before they ate the rich cherry mash. They had both gotten sucked in by the “Balance of Nature” advertisements and are waiting for the benefits of having all of those fruits and vegetables surging through their blood.

MG: Did you get My Pillow, My Sheets, and My Towels?

Yram: Sure did? I love that guy, but he needs to get a My Shirt in a color besides blue.

MG: You know Yram, We could be sisters except I’m a queen and you’re not. You’re a commoner, Yram.

Yram: Yup…a commoner who is going to write about your every move, Queenie.

Tea with the Queenie

by Yram Sicnarf, commoner, and roving reporter

The queen has a cottage and a teeny weenie house.

Though I never saw him, she says she has a spouse

He’s driving us to Rock Fort in a royal coach

My behavior has to be way beyond reproach

Knock Knock…Who’s there? Oh…It’s Dairy Queen. I’ll have a Bing blizzard.

Another restraining order would really do me in

Could MG really be my long lost evil twin?

This Coach?

See Ya…You haven’t seen anything, yet.

Yram: Do you mind if I superficially record our conversations, MG? Speak into my watch.

Murdo Girl…A Monumental interview

Hi! This is Yram Sicnarf. I’m filling in for Murdo Girl for a few days. She’s resting. You probably don’t realize this, but I’m quite a bit younger than MG. I reside in Texas near Gun Barrel City, where our motto is, “We Shoot Straight.” I’m a traveling crack-up reporter.

I just got to Rapid City. I’m going to the Crazy Horse Monument this morning. I snagged an interview with Crazy Horse, himself. This interview was hard to get, but it will put another feather in my cap, and an arrow in my quill.

The Crazy Horse Monument is far away from Murdo where I have several restraining orders against me, so how much trouble can I get into, right? Can you see Crazy Horse putting a restraining order on me? I don’t even like to ride horses.

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We are back at the Crazy Horse Monument where Yram Sicnarf will soon be interviewing Crazy Horse. You know how when the politicians speak, they always have a bunch of people standing behind them? It makes for a good camera shot, so Sherri and Kodak are going to shoot and record the whole thing.

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Yram: Good morning all! We are waiting for Crazy Horse to arrive. He is a busy man you know and he travels everywhere on his crazy horse. Oh there he is! I’ll try to get his attention. “YEOEOEOEOEYO!!” I think he heard me.

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Yram: Hello Mr. Crazy Horse…Pleased to make your acquaintance. I have read your dossier, so I know everything there is to know about you. Are you new in town?

Crazy Horse: I’ve been through here a couple of times many winters ago. I remember it was cold.

Yram: It says here you are a leader. That’s pretty vague. In what kind of work are you a leader?

Crazy Horse: Well, I’m retired now, but I used to put colorful paint all over my face, then go and scare the Calvary. It was fun, but it didn’t pay much.

Yram:  If you’re retired, why haven’t you completed your statue…arthritis?

Crazy Horse: Something like that. What is there to do around here?

Yram: Well Mr. Crazy Horse. Do you mind if I call you Crazy? Have you been to Custer State Park?

Crazy Horse: You’re joking, right?

Yram: Not a park person?

Crazy Horse: A very great vision is needed, and the man who has it must follow it as the eagle seeks the deepest blue of the sky.

Yram: Just the other day, I was talking to my girlfriend and I said that same thing. I can really relate. Where are you going from here?

Crazy Horse: I’m going to Murdo. Have you ever been there?

Yram: Yes…but not within 300 yards. They don’t want me close to the football games.

Crazy Horse: I can relate.

Yram: So would you mind having your picture taken with me Mr. Horse?

Crazy Horse: That’s my horse’s name. You can call me Crazy. I don’t like having my picture taken.

I thought that was one of my better interviews, and being the tenacious crack up reporter I am, I managed to get that picture.

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So the sun sets on another western South Dakota day. I wonder what foolhardy thing tomorrow will bring? How about Mt. Rushmore? That would keep her busy for a while. 

Mr. President Washington, is it true you have wooden teeth? Are they hard to floss?

Murdo Girl…The tail is always at the end

A whimsical day to think and play

I walked along a bubbling brook. The warm sun felt so nice.

I sat upon a nearby rock. The water felt like ice.

I took my shoes and socks off and stuck my toes in the cold stream.

“You’ll catch your death.” I heard someone say. Not sounding one bit mean.

I felt the slippery slimy moss and knew better than to stand,

Until I found a muddy hole where I could jump and safely land.

I saw a fish swim by. He knew I meant no harm.

I had no fishing pole or pail of minnows on my arm.

Soon the sun was setting and I knew that I must leave.

We can never know if we’ll be back, but this I must believe.

I can go anywhere I want to, but I can’t go everywhere.

I can do what you can do. Not as good, but I don’t care.

I can sing and dance and juggle balls… all at the same time.

If you try to say I can’t, you’re still a friend of mine.

I can tell stories that aren’t funny and train a dog to sit.

If you can’t keep up with all I do it’s not okay to quit.

I can make hiccups go away by drinking water upside down,

I’ve shown others how to do it and only two of them have drowned.

I can make an eggless, milkless , butterless, cake. My mother taught me how.

I think she learned to make it when they had to sell their cow.

They ate the eggs for breakfast and the butter wouldn’t churn.

Someone hid the sugar so there’d be something left to burn.

Now here’s a piece of wisdom that I’ll only say one time.

As life goes on, sometimes you’ll run into a hill to climb.

If there’s a hill to climb, don’t wait for it to shrink.

Hills don’t get smaller no matter what you think…

(You have to climb it! Don’t wait! Get started!)

 

Murdo Girl…Can I go now?

Today I saw the doctor. The one who checks my eyes.

He told me I can’t see, which came as no surprise.

So where are ya’all from? I don’t believe I’ve seen you around here.

I have the beginnings, of what is called glaucoma

I’ve learned its not a good thing, if it ends in “oma.”

He also thought he’d mention that my cataracts are growing

“Are you finished, yet?” I asked. “I really must be going.”

This must be MG’s book. It’s in LARGE print

I got into my car with a prescription for eyeglasses.

I thought I should drive slowly, though everybody passes.

By the time I got back home, I had a real meltdown.

I couldn’t help but think, that my eyes had let me down.

Sometimes you do things that you know you might regret.

I don’t think I’ll make that dentist appointment, yet.

Does eating candy with the wrapper on keep you from getting cavities?

Murdo Girl…Tough luck buttercup

Now I’ve done it! I somehow hit something that made everything on my laptop huge. The letters look a foot tall and I have to keep scrolling up and down and up and down to see the entire page. Kip can read my email to me from his chair clear across the room. Maybe my eyes are getting better. No…I took my reading glasses off and I still can’t read what’s on the screen,

I did what anyone who spends too much time looking at a computer would do. I started to investigate to see how I could fix it.

The older I get, the more I hate to read and follow instructions. I found an outline which was supposed to help me locate the problem. It’s called troubleshooting. I like to push troubleshoot and have the internal workings search for the problem, although I have yet to find a fix through troubleshooting. It usually tells me to make sure my wires are hooked up tightly. (That even made me laugh.)

Back to the outline. Something stuck out to me. I run out of space a lot and I don’t want to pay for any more and I know I’ve got things I don’t need in documents and photos. I use memory cards and have three devices I store things on. I don’t go back and delete them for two reasons. I’m afraid I will need it someday and secondly, I get overwhelmed just paging through it all. So I looked at that outline and stuck with the instructions long enough to figure out what I needed to do to delete duplicate files.

It was suggested that I download an app (free) on google play. I have a hard time with free apps because I usually accidentally download one of the programs the free app is advertising, and then I have to deal with getting rid of that. At first, I was really impressed with the rid yourself of duplicate files app.. It organized each file and picture that had a duplicate. There were many that had duplicates and some had as many as ten that were just like them. When you work from a laptop, a tablet, and a smart phone, you duplicate things. and like I said, I’m afraid to delete.

This time I wasn’t. I didn’t see one good reason to keep all of those duplicates, so I confidently hit, delete all. A message came up and said all of my deletions would bypass the recycle bin and could never be retrieved…did I still want to delete all. Yup.

I sat there and watched as all of those duplicates went off to never never land…and they took my original files and pictures with them.

I didn’t jump off the nearest cliff because I still have a lot of duplicates on my SD cards, cell phone, and tablet. There are some older pictures and files I’m really going to miss, though. I’ll just have to deal with it.

I gave up trying to reduce everything on my screen for now. I saw the instructions to sync my cell with my laptop so I can even read my messages both places. That is so cool!

Sorry…I don’t have any pictures for this one. I’ll get one somewhere.

You mean I passed??

Murdo Girl…Barns and Buildings Revisited

I decided to post the ebook of Barns and Buildings Revisited. If you decide you want the hard copy, let me know. I can get it $2 cheaper. (They allow me to give my email link to anyone I would like to.) You don’t have to have kindle. You can look at it with cell, tablet, laptop, or PC.

Go to the link below, tap the book cover, tap preview book, and use the arrows at the bottom. Use the single arrows to navigate. The double arrows take you all the way to the front and back.

I hope you all enjoy it…especially those who contributed your beautiful pictures. The contest results are on the last page.

https://www.bookemon.com/book-profile/885993

Murdo Girl…Going someplace?

If I had a million dollars, I would give it all to you.

And then before I walked away, I would turn and say, adieu.

Without ever turning around, I would whisper, au revoir.

Or I might take a thousand and walk slowly toward the door.

Why should you have all the meat while I’m stuck with marinara?

Give me $100,000 and I’ll say, sayonara.

I couldn’t forgive myself if it affected you adversely.

So I’ll give you 400K and say, arrivederci.

Now I have a headache and I need acetaminophen.

I’ll take 300k and water before I say, auf wiedersehen

I guess I should stay a while in case I need another dose.

After which you’ll hear me shout, baby, adios!

I think maybe you should leave and I’ll say, cherrio.

Be sure and shut the door behind you when you go.

I’ll never have a million dollars. Its just pie in the sky.

I’m going to take a nap now… don’t forget to say goodbye.

If I had a million dollars I’d deliver this bombshell.

“I’m leaving you to travel.” I bid you a fond farewell.

Murdo Girl…Little people are funny

I have almost completed the barn book. It has old barns, churches, houses…everything abandoned. It’s called, Barns and Buildings Revisited. There are stories about some of them in the book as well. I was thinking it wouldn’t take very much time to put together but as usual, I was wrong. I worked long laborious hours arranging and rearranging, adding and cutting. It was sad to see all of these old structures that had outlived their usefulness. Their families had moved on and left them behind. Some of them look like they would fall over if you touched them. I need to change the subject. I’m about to make myself cry.

Today, I’m going to tell true, funny kid stories. The idea came from a conversation Billy and I had on the phone last night. This will be like a newer version of “Kids say the darndest things.” You have to be at least my age to remember the Art Linkletter show. There were little kids sitting in little chairs and he would go to each one and ask them questions. Their answers made us all howl with laughter.

My great-granddaughter, Ryan, spent Saturday night with Meme who is our daughter, Heidi. In the middle of the night she sat straight up in bed and started shaking her head. “Can you hear it, Meme?” She demanded. “Can you hear it?”

“Hear what, honey?” Heidi thought Ryan must be talking in her sleep.

“The screw moving around in my head. Mommy said I have a loose screw in my head. Can you hear it?”

great-grammy (me), Skyler, Heidi, and Ryan Constance

A little boy, who lived in Murdo, had older brothers who liked to tease him about ghosts. Little Mitch adjusted his nightly prayer to emphasize his resolve not to fear them. “May we be blessed by the Father, the Son, and there ain’t no ghosts,” he prayed.

When my niece, Erin, was a little girl, my sister-in-law had to go to Seattle on a business trip. As she was leaving, Erin asked, “After you see Attle, then what are you going to do?”

Erin a couple of years ago when Kip and I were visiting California in the RV

Ryan’s older sister, Skyler, had a cold and she wanted my daughter to know how bad it was. “Meme,” she whimpered. “My nose is slobbering.”

Recent photo of Meme Heidi with Skyler and Ryan

I have enough grandkids and great-grandkids that I could write a book about the funny things they say, but right now, I don’t have the time. Maybe I’ll start another contest and you can share some of your “Kids say the darndest things,” stories with all of us.

Have a great day!

Murdo Girl…No complaints

A week ago Kip, the two dogs and the cat were waking up in the car. It was so cold outside, we couldn’t put on enough layers.

Still, we couldn’t exactly call ourselves pioneers. Kip and the pets slept like babies unlike me who couldn’t get comfortable.

Thankfully, I still had internet and I had thought to bring my tablet and chargers so I could stream a Prime video. I watched a couple of good movies. I also had plenty of snacks, so I kept my energy up. I was cozy with the kitty on my lap…until my legs went to sleep and I had to go to the bathroom. That is when I began to feel the real inconvenience of near zero temperatures, lots of snow, and no electricity or water. You know the rest.

The road to Csnton
The United Methodist Church I first went to in Murdo. I remember it had s storm cellar. It was torn down years ago.

Back to now. We currently have enough bottled water for the animals, but we have to boil any tap water we consume. We are asked to not use our dishwasher or wash clothes as they are still trying to get water to some of the communities who don’t have any, yet. The water company needs us to conserve. The stores are out of food and there are several houses with broken water pipes.

At least it’s warm and some of the fast food places have a limited menu through the drive-up window.

We’re praying that we don’t have a 2021 as harrowing as 2020 was…it’s only February. I guess I should keep a list of movies I’ve been wanting to watch and books I’ve been intending to read…and I will be sure to keep all of my devices charged up.

Have I told you yet how grateful I am? I am blessed beyond belief and I know it.