When I first heard Lav and Yram were going to take a road trip, I was firm in my resolve not to document it. I thought like most of their ideas, this too would blow over. I should have listened to my Psyche. Unfortunately, my Psyche isn’t any smarter than my Psycho. So here is the beginning of what could be a very long summer.
Lav: on the phone with Yram: Guess what Yram..I just talked to Ruben at the Pioneer Auto Museum and he said we could come and pick up the red convertible tomorrow. We get to take it on our road trip.
Yram: Get outta here! Who is Ruben?
Lav: You know Ruben, he’s the guy who answers the phone at the museum. He said he’d have the car all ready for us about 12ish.
Yram: You mean as in noonish?
Lav: No as in midnightish. He said something about under cover of darkness. If there’s a full moon then we have to wait a few days. Like I always say, “never look a horse-powered gift in the mouth.”
Yram: I’m in..I’ll meet you there at 11:45ish.
Lav: 10-4..and Yram..Wear black.
I guess it’s true what they say, “The Lord looks after small children and the clueless.” Yram and Lav managed to get the red convertible out of the museum and on the road. Well…sort of.
Yram: So I guess Ruben didn’t mention that we had to take the parts and pieces of the red convertible to some unnamed place to get it fixed before we could drive it. Did he give us the wheels? I didn’t see any wheels.
Lav: Well, he was right about one thing. He said the convertible would get good gas mileage. I don’t know about this old Ford truck though. He said it would go through gas like a physic. What is a physic Yram?
Yram: I’ll look it up…physic is an over-the-counter medication for constipation….It’s going to need a lot of gas Lav. I guess we better start looking for small jobs we can pick up along the way. Hey Look! There’s a help wanted sign. Pull over Lav.
Lav: But we’re not even out of Murdo yet Yram. I’m bummed. What kind of job is it?
Yram: Looks like a pizza place. P-R-A-I-R-I-E Pizza. Yup anybody can make pizza. I’ll make it and you can deliver it.
The next day…
Lav: I don’t get why we got fired. Do you Yram?
Yram: No Lav…They ordered one pepperoni pizza and that’s what we delivered.
Lav: How much was the final paycheck? We’re almost out of gas.
Yram: We each got $7.00 and the one pepperoni pizza…we better start looking for bottles and cans along the road. $14.00 won’t even get us to Kadoka. Maybe we can get jobs there that better meet our qualifications. I’m a crack-up reporter you know.
Lav: I have lots of work experience.
Yram: Really Lav? How much do tumbleweeds “rake” in these days?
Lav: Probably about as much as you made wearing bunny ears to read at story hour.
I have never been fired from a babysitting job..know any kids?
Is it all clear Yram? Yup Lav, put the pedal to the metal..If they see us getting smaller it’s cause we’re leavin…
Kadoka..Here we come!!
I shoulda seen them coming