Talk about being deep in the weeds. Our new Administration has become overgrown and overblown. It looks like we’ve got a Cabinet full of termites with titles and names like,
(FEEL FREE TO SKIP NEXT 4 LINES IF YOU ALREADY KNOW WHO EVERYBODY IS.)
Murdo Girl (Next Pres), Lav (Next VP), Treason (Press Sec), TC (Town Cryer), A I (Aggressive Informant, now spy), Jerry (always and forever the Bean Counter), Sherri (Photographic Drawer), Carol (The Singer), Pico (Person In Charge of Brick House Functions), DM (Defense Monitor), NoNo (Short for Nobody Noname.. he is a canine), and of course we have the Queen.
I don’t think she likes me….NoNo
There is someone who just might have a problem with being shoved out of the cushy jobs? Yes, there is one that came aaaalll the way from Gun Barrel City Texas. One…who took it on the chin from practically aaalll of the MHS faculty. In her troubled mind, she thinks that she alone paved the way for Murdo Girl to ride into town in her broken down Jeep and CLEAN UP!!
Yram Sicnarf isn’t ready to suck it up and go home. I mean, it’s a 100 degrees in the shade right now in Texas. Not a good time to vacate loftier, cooler goals.
Who knows what this is going to look like?
Yram: Mr. Francis, You probably don’t know me from Billy, but I’ve heard you’re a fair-minded Murdo man. Would you mind if I asked you a few off the cuff questions?
Big Bill: If you don’t mind if I smoke a cigar. Does off the cuff mean the same thing as off the record?
Yram: Yes.. I don’t live in Murdo, and because I come from Texas, some (although I’m not one of them), think I do things kind of backwards.
Big Bill: Well, Miss Sicnarf, do you think it might have something to do with the way you spell your name?
Yram: I can’t help it that my Father’s last name was Sicnarf! Every day, I look in the mirror and wonder.. what’s wrong with me. Do you think mine has been an easy life?
Big Bill: What is your Mother’s name?
Yram: Her name is Atterol Nosrednas Sicnarf Nosfatsug.
Big Bill: Well Yram, I’m finished smoking my cigar, but I do have some words of wisdom for you.
Yram: I’m all ears and there’s lots of me.
Big Bill: Stay close to Yllib, and just maybe, your parents were looking in the mirror when they named you. Yes the mirror and a little dyslexia can make strange things appear.
Yram: Okay Big Bill, but before we go our separate ways, I have some words of wisdom for you too. It’s something my Dad Llib always said..”Watch out for Gnillaf Skcor!” It has to do with two Indian Braves who raced through the Badlands to win the hand of Gnillaf Skcor. She was an Indian Princess who never did show up in the winner’s circle.
Big Bill: Winner’s circle? Did you say winner’s circle? I know the guy who wrote that story. I barely recognize it the way you tell it. Are you sure your brother didn’t tell you the story? It sounds like an add lib from Yllib. He likes horse races.
Armed with a new resolve, Yram decides to go have a chat with Murdo Girl. It’s time to draw a line on the chalkboard. Time to talk about solutions to those important issues that hurt our hearts. Next Pres, Murdo Girl must not get mired in the quagmire. The future of Murdo, SD, USA is in her hands. This calls for an intervention.
In just a few, we find Yram and Murdo Girl together in the Oblong Office.
Yram: Murdo Girl let me ask you something. What have you done for Murdo since you took office? In the beginning you were on fire. You had Murdo Girl Towers, Murdo Wall Drug. I mean you had it goin on. It looks to me like since you won the election, you’ve become a drifter. You’ve added so much dead wood, if someone strikes a match, this “People’s House” will burn to the ground even if it is made of brick.
Just then Treason, the Press Secretary walks in.
Treason: I couldn’t help over- eavesdropping. I agree with Yram.
Next, Pico and DM come through the door
Pico: I agree with Yram and Treason
DM: I agree with Yram, Treason, Pico and DM..(wait that’s me.)
Now, here comes A I, Jerry, TC, Sherri, and Carol
Murdo Girl: Please..somebody bolt the door, before Lav and the Queen come in.(But it’s too late, they’re here too.) Do I have to listen to this for the rest of my dead driftwood days? Have I really lost my way? Have I lost sight of my goals? Have I become one of those I have fought to extricate Murdo from? Next thing you know, I’ll be over at the jail giving Otis sobriety tests.
Everybody stops to ponder that for a minute
Oh No…The Nose pinching test…I hate the nose pinching test!
Murdo Girl: Quick someone slap some sense into me.
Lav and the Queen both haul off and slug Next Pres Murdo Girl who immediately crosses her eyes and slumps to the floor. NoNo runs to her, but no amount of face licking wakes Murdo Girl up. NoNo turns and growls at his master’s evil peeps.
Lav straightens the crown on her head.
TC: unrolls her scroll. Hear yea, Hear yea, Hear yea…Lav Yekcel is now the Next Pres of Murdo, SD, USA. Long live Queen Next Pres.
A I: runs to Murdo Girl and kneels by her side and for a brief moment, Murdo Girl’s eyes uncross. Don’t worry MG, I’ll find out who did this to you. huh? Murdo Girl’s eyes cross again and she’s out cold.
What Next!! Will Murdo Girl Wake up in time for the Corinauguralation?
What is Lav guarding in her garden?