Things are a virtual mess around the Brick House these days. They now have phone service, but the electricity got shut off. There just aren’t enough beans in the pot. Not enough coins in the coffer. Not enough cookies in the cookie jar. Not enough taxes in the…Wait! Taxes!! That’s It! We need some taxes. It is with this thought in mind that Next Pres Murdo Girl begins to outline her plan to put The Brick House in the black. Yes..We need a plan to float this boat. We’ve got to balance the old beanery. We’ve got to fire this town up, and there is no time like the present. Now where are those candles? It’s starting to get dark in here.
Murdo Girl: Talking to herself as she goes in search of the candles..Are you kidding me? We don’t have any candles? It’s going to be as dark as coal outside in about 15 minutes. Now what do I do? I guess I’ll just take my pad and pen and go over to Fern’s and order a glass of water. They’ve got lights.
As she’s about to go, in comes Jerry with a kerosene lantern, followed by TC and her big guy flashlight. Things are starting to look a little brighter in the Oblong Office. One thing nice about dim light is you can’t see all the dust balls. Unfortunately, you can still see all of the dim wits and the goof balls.
Jerry: TC and I have a plan Murdo Girl. I’ve got enough kerosene for this lantern to last a couple of days. TC’s big guy flashlight has a rechargeable battery, so we can use it at night; then we’ll run it over to the Lindquist’s house and let it charge during the day. How do you like that plan Next Pres?
Murdo Girl: I like it.
Jerry: I thought you would.
TC: Do I have to carry this thing all over all night Murdo Girl? I’m starting to get a backache, and I’ve been doing so many “Hear Ye, Hear Ye, Hear Ye, God save the Queen’s,” I’m starting to get a sore throat.
In comes A I and DM.
A I: Yo MG. DM and I have been doing some snooping around Murdo today, trying to find the whereabouts of the Queen. There have been all kinds of Queen sightings, but still no solid leads. Jim at the Texaco Station said an RV Carriage just like the Queen’s pulled in and filled up, but it turned out to be a bunch of hippies in a hippy wagon all decorated up for the days of 76.
DM: Yeah MG..after we followed up on five or six leads, we got real discouraged. It turns out the Murdoites see things that aren’t really there. They see Elvis, Michael Jackson, The pot of gold at the end of the rainbow…
Murdo Girl: DM..Don’t even joke about a pot of gold..I’m at the point I’d settle for just the empty pot and try to sell it. Jerry, do you know anything about taxes? Doesn’t the Government run on tax money? We’re the Government. Shouldn’t we be getting some kind of tax money?
Jerry: Sorry Next Pres. You see, Bean Counters just count. It’s somebody else’s job to accumulate the wealth. I’ve heard a little about taxes, but I just know enough to be dangerous.
Murdo Girl: Danger is lurking all around us Jerry. There’s got to be at least one person on this team who knows about taxes. Well, here comes Lav. I can see her out the window. She’s coming up the walk with a wheel barrow. It’s getting too dark for me to see what’s in it.
Lav parks the wheel barrow by the door and comes in.
Muqrdo Girl: Hi Next VP..what are you doing pushing that wheel barrow? I thought all your beans were harvested and spent.
Lav: I don’t have beans in my wheel barrow Next Pres. Those bags are full of tax money.
MG, DM, Jerry, A I and TC: All say..What? What? What? What? What?
Lav: Yup! Treason is coming with another barrel full of money sacks. I guess she fell behind a little. We decided to bring it over here, because we were running out of room for it over at Sanderson Castle.
MG: It’s not Sanderson Castle Lav. It’s the Next Pres VP headquarters. Now Pleeeeeze tell us where all that loot came from?
Lav: Well, we’ve been selling groceries, and dry goods, and lots and lots of penny candy. We even sold a Minneapolis Moline tractor. That made us lots of tax money. It’s dark in here. You all should come on over to Sanderson Castle. We’ve got lights. Pico and Carol are over there right now. Barnella is teaching them how to play poker. Yram’s there too but she’s still got an Applefloor migraine. She should just quit talking to that guy.
Murdo Girl: Quick team..everybody go grab a sack of money and get it in here before someone steals it. Jerry..You start counting. DM.. Go find Treason along the road and help with her wheel barrow. A I..Take a handful of taxes and go get us some hamburgers. Wait..the phone’s ringing.
Murdo Girl: Hello..Hello..Quit barking and say something!
TC: Who was it Murdo Girl? Do I need to town cry something?