Month: December 2023

Those 70ish Girls- Big Deal Bdays by Lav

Valerie Halla4 Comments

A BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION FROM A FEW YEARS AGO WHEN I TURNED 36.

What makes you feel nostalgic?

Birthdays make me feel nostalgic and sorta jealous. Let me explain.

My cousin has the best birthday celebrations. Her bday is today but she’s been partying for many days previous to it. She sent a picture of herself with her cute haircut dyed gray and wearing a bright red blouse, and a bright smile, grinning from ear to ear with 12 friends and family members eating out together. Her husband was wearing a button down long sleeve shirt and I barely recognized him because most often he’s in a t-shirt, with suspenders and Bermuda shorts. They were seated at one long table. One couple came all the way from Indiana and the husband was all dressed up in a dress shirt, going business casual with a tie and all. (I’ve often wondered why they call it “business casual”. If you mean you’re seriously doing “business,”then dress for success like you mean business. Don’t go all casual. I would probably come in my pj’s since that’s my business casual outfit which I wear quite often. When I mean business, I go to sleep.) My cousin was seated at a place of honor with presents surrounding her. All the guests obviously adored her. It was a big deal bday. It all looked quite different from my bday.

For my birthday my husband took me out for dinner in the Monterey area at a restaurant by the beach. But I didn’t have a dozen people there. In fact, last bday he and I sat alone at a small table eating our appetizers: calimari and French fries, then we ordered some raviolis and sand dabs to share with drinks, even though things were kind of expensive. (Happy birthday!) I didn’t mention it was my bday to the host nor waiter. I don’t like them to draw attention by singing happy birthday to me, although I bet all twelve sang (probably off key) for my cousin’s bday dinner. I also did not get a birthday dessert. (My cousin probably got an entire NY cheesecake.)

We had paid earlier for parking at the automatic parking machine in the restaurant lot, but had trouble entering our car license info. We thought we were all set to drive home, after paying for dinner and leaving a tip, but on the windshield of our car was a parking ticket, neatly wrapped up in a white envelope. (Happy birthday!) We had entered the license plate number incorrectly. This ticket would cost us almost as much as the dinner had, but we could contest it with a copy of the receipt, day and time we had parked and a letter to the parking company authorities, signed and dated within 60 days. (Happy birthday!)

I guess birthdays make me feel nostalgic because as a child my parents threw some fun parties for me and all the grandparents and aunts, uncles and cousins came not to mention another separate party just for my neighbor hood friends and school classmates. It was a big deal as a child. Back in those days, people got dressed up. My relatives looked stylish for our family gathering and at my kids’ party, we little girls wore dresses, with patent leather shoes and anklets (fancy lace bordered socks).

I really need to grow up. No more kiddy parties, right? Birthdays are fun in our 70’s but we do not need a big fuss over them like when we were kids, do we? I’m happy my cousin had people she loves around her for her birthday. She deserves to have fun. Hopefully no one got a parking ticket, dear Cuz. Oh, and if you got my gift and bday card in your mailbox recently, it might not fit so just return it to me. I can take it back and get a refund. I’m going to probably need it anyway to help pay for the ticket.

Thanks, sweet Cuz, and happy big deal birthday. To me, you are a big deal.

WHY ARE WE HANGING OUT WITH THAT CHEF GUY?

Maybe it’s his birthday.

Those 70ish Girls – Santa Friends by Lav

Valerie Halla5 Comments

HOLIDAYS CAN BE STRESSFUL BUT SHINE A LIGHT ON THE TRUE MEANING

As we get older, friends seem like family and we lose some dear ones along the way, letting us know we might go next. But when it comes to the holidays we can be childlike . (You can probably remember a special gift or two you got as a kid) My friends don’t have a lot of money so some of the gifts this year were a bit strange. Six of us met for our annual gift exchange. But we took the gifts home without opening them, because we had all had lunch together and time was limited. We also got carried away with the holiday gift giving. It took me two trips to carry it all to the car. I’m not even sure what some items are for but it was still fun to unwrap and pull out colorful tissue from gift bags revealing these things:

-A plugin snowflake shaped room deodorizer pine or peppermint scented (some assembly required.)

-Friends spoon with cute poem engraved (not for use with food or beverages.)

-Bar of goat milk soap.

-Dog gift catalog with stickers.

-Fifteen individually wrapped pretzels from Pennsylvania which are crunchy and delicious.

– A 2 foot long hand-sewn hanging kitchen piece made of fabric, shaped like a house with a floppy mini-wreath sewn on the door of the house. It has a big pocket on the lower half and two loops on the top suitable for hanging up…somewhere.

-A stick with a cute little gnome at the end.

-Gift cards.

As I opened each gift and card, I kept wondering where I would put these things. The giftcards were the best because then I could go buy what I want, especially the giftcards to a coffee shop. And of course there were also the pieces of jewelry given. You can always put those in your jewelry box, never to remember who gave them to you, or when to wear them. I don’t even want to bring up necklaces getting all tangled up.

My Dad used to say, “It’s the thought that counts.” That kept going through my mind as I looked over the collection of presents. I’m just lucky to have such generous, kind people in my life. It doesn’t matter what they gave me. Their friendship is what counts. They’re probably in turn looking over the gifts I gave them: a mug, kitchen dish towels purchased at a church gift bazaar, candy, and mini scented candles. They’re thinking the same thing I am. What will I do with all these? Do I really need any of this? What were they thinking giving these to me?

It doesn’t matter what you give to others at this time of year because just the giving part is what counts. The friendship is there. There’s love inside each gift. The friends give you meaning at this time of year.

Happy holidays!

Those 70ish Girls- A Strong Life Passed On by Valerie Halla

Valerie Halla3 Comments

ON THE RIGHT: MY YOUNG GRANDPARENTS, FUTURE UNCLE AND MOM WITH GRANDMA’S PARENTS AND UNKNOWN LADY VISITING SD

There’s this memorable old b and w photo from about 1915 of my young, beautiful, hardworking grandparents: grandpa so young in overalls, thin, tall, with a full head of hair, with his oldest two year old son, Wayne, who is looking like a grumpy toddler grasping onto the pant leg of his Dad’s overalls and petite Grandma wearing a long white two-piece homespun dress, holding baby Ella, my Mom, staring seriously into the camera and wearing her dark hair up, a bit disheveled in the prairie wind and sun, next to her handsome young husband. The flat, seemingly barren, never ending prairie goes rolling out behind them. Also standing next to them is a young gal totally dressed up in opposite style clothing, clashing in her citified hat, suit and manner with the harsh unforgiving plains of South Dakota. To this day we don’t know who she was but Grandma’s parents are next to this unknown woman. They are Perry and Elizabeth Tyrrell visiting from their farm in Iowa. They, too, are dressed up in typical 1900’s style clothes, like what you would wear for a long train trip obviously not ready to work on the farm that day. Perry is politely holding his hat and his wife gently reaches out with a hand touching little Wayne. The contrast between the young farming couple with two small children and the Iowa visitors is stark. This photo reflects a myriad of feelings, family history and questions. I’m captivated seeing it time and time again, never tiring of viewing my strong, loving, hopeful grandparents and the visiting Iowa relatives. They are frozen in time, in history with this photo, yet vibrant and youthful in the hopes for their future.

My family on my mother’s side was brave, capable and ready to take on the adventure and the toil of working on the hard untilled sod of the virgin prairie. My Mom stressed throughout my young days that I came from good people and no matter how rough life gets, I was part of a strong, courageous heritage. That strength was carried within me. I can hear them saying: Don’t let it go, pass it along to your offspring. Keep the spirit alive.

I’m trying to give that to my children and let my three children know that they have the same ancestry and the strong family background especially on my Mom’s side. It’s part of them. It’s in their blood. You can almost grasp it there in these old photos.

Don’t whine or complain that life is too hard. Your great grandparents truly had it rough farming in the early 1900’s in South Dakota, with the fears of WWI in the present and the Dirty Thirties and the Great Depression soon to creep into their future, but they didn’t complain nor give up. They should be an example to us all even in these modern times.

I hope my adult children take after my Mom’s side even though my dad’s family were amazing people also but in a different environment. I keep stressing to my kids to never give up. Keep going. Follow in the deep footsteps of your ancestors. They left some plans for us, some blueprint that life was harsh, but by their example you know you have the power in your heart and your body to follow their previous ideals to get through life. My grandparents did it and did it gracefully.

THREE OF MY HARD WORKING AUNTS AND MY TALL THIN MOM ON THE HORSE CREEK FARM WITH A VISITOR IN THE BONNET AND MODEL T AND LOG CABIN IN BACKGROUND

Those 70ish girls…Stuff

Mary Francis McNinch3 Comments

I read a remark from someone on Facebook regarding stuff. It said we shouldn’t be focused on accumulating things that, in the end, won’t matter. Why should we leave a bunch of “stuff” behind for our family to sort through and get rid of. “You can’t take it with you” was the point.

Though I am the queen of disposing of stuff, I do see the other side of it.

I remember going to my mother-in-law’s house after she passed. Though she had a massive amount of stuff to be gone through, some of the things she left behind brought back beautiful memories to those she left behind. Her children spent days listening to albums she had collected through the years. Many were family favorites that, to this day, mean something. She left behind photo albums and beautiful needlepoint pictures that she had painstakingly completed. There were other things, including pieces of jewelry, both expensive and costume that were keepers for the kids who remembered their mother wearing them. They were a part of their memories of her.

When Kip and I downsized this last time, I didn’t keep much, but even I have special memories attached to a few things. I kept a small wooden chest that has been in my family since before I was born. My brother and I remember the space it occupied in our old house. In those days, it held all of the family photos. That little chest survived a few moves and a flood. It is relatively unscathed. I really appreciate that Gus sent it to me after my mother passed away and he ran acrossed it in storage.

I take that back. It’s a little scathed. I need to oil it. Not bad for almost 100 years old.

I also kept some of my Aunt Irma’s costume jewelry. I just wore a pair of her earrings to church on Sunday. I have some of Mom’s things, too. Gus gave me a Christmas sweatshirt when I visited him recently. I have several pictures of Mom looking festive in it.

So don’t toss out or give away all of your stuff. Keep a few things that your loved ones might want to look through. Your stuff might be a family member’s treasure, and they might appreciate reliving the memories of you and special times.

Those 70ish girls…Repurposing time..pt 2

Mary Francis McNinch3 Comments

Thanks to everyone for your encouraging words and suggestions, which I have incorporated into my list of new ways to spend my time. Here is my list.

1) Some form of exercise… we walk the dogs 4 times a day, but we don’t walk fast. We mostly mosey along. There isn’t really a good place where we’re parked right now to walk a long distance. I have been thinking about doing chair aerobics. It can actually get your heart rate up and tone at the same time. I’m going to develop a routine and commit to doing it 5 days a week for a while and see how it goes. I’ll keep you posted.

2) Take more pictures. We’re not traveling for the next 3 months or so, but I used to take more photos of my humorous dogs. I can try to catch them in cute poses and write captions.

3) Forget about writing poetry, unless I get the urge, and focus on just writing prose. My stories can be about my everyday life and my successful or unsuccessful adjustments to RV living.

4) I get depressed when my living space, which is smaller than I have been accustomed to, isn’t neat, clean, and orderly. I will avoid being frustrated by keeping things in their place and cleaning more often.

5) Facebook… This one will surprise you. I actually love FB. It has helped me make new friends and keep up with existing and old friends. I have recently found my boss from 40 years ago. We have a date to talk soon. She was not only my boss, but she was a good friend. She gave me a wedding shower when Kip and I got married. I need to check on the friends who don’t show up on my daily feed and see what they’re up to. I love seeing pics of everyone’s kids, grandkids, and pets.

6) Write more cards and notes. I love getting mail, and it might give me a more cheerful attitude and help me to feel like I’m doing something nice for others. I’ll add to this… stay in closer touch with my grandkids.

I think the above is enough to get me started. One thing I’m going to have to get used to is being flexible with my schedule. I will commit to being mindful of my list, and instead of being woeful about missing what used to be, I’ll refer to my list and do something on it.

Thank you, everyone. (I’ll begin taking more pictures today.)

Those 70ish girls…Repurposing time

Mary Francis McNinch5 Comments

I’ve spent the last 2 plus years clearing out and minimizing. In the process, I tossed out, sold, or gave away a big part of my life. What I didn’t realize is that this preparation for my new life on the road left some empty space that, figuratively speaking, needed to be filled with something else. Is that sentence too long?

Thanksgiving and the beginning of the Christmas season have given me pause to reflect on what I can fill the space in my life with. How do I repurpose the time that I was accustomed to spending doing old familiar things with old familiar things?

I used to spend a lot of my time writing, which I enjoyed. I have been experiencing writer’s block for several months now. The poetry and stories are not top of mind like they used to be. I can’t think about the possibility that it might be a permanent condition. The thought of no more writing creativeness in my brain is unthinkable to me.

So what do I do to fill that empty space? That’s what I find myself thinking about tonight. I think I’m going to try to do what I’m doing now. Write even though I’m not having any spurts of creativity. I’ll try the fake it until you make it method. The question is, will anyone read it?

Since I can’t fill my life with the things I used to do, other than writing, I’ll find new things to fill that space. Maybe doing new things will help spur some brain activity conducive to writing. Do you want to come along for the ride while I explore? The first thing I’m going to do tomorrow is make a list. Any suggestions? As your thinking, keep in mind that Kip and I are together most of the time, we have two dogs that can’t be left alone in the RV more than a few hours, and we only have one car. I can get out by myself some, but not a lot or too often. I don’t want to negatively impact Kip’s life too much, either. There still should be some constructive and interesting things I can do with my time.

The pics of my RV Christmas decorations don’t do them justice.

Kisses are nice