Those 70ish Girls – The Big C

Valerie Halla4 Comments

When I found out my husband had melanoma metastatic brain cancer, it was at first not sinking in. No, the doctors and scans must be wrong. That cannot be true.

After more tests and a sobering visit to a Stanford neurosurgeon, complete with computer images showing the tumors, and detailed explanations, it did sink in, and the shock was felt and was overwhelming us and carrying us away on a tidal wave of emotions. Sometimes we’d be on the crest of the giant wave of feelings and other times we would come crashing down, covered in watery frothy clouds of despair. We’d be down a long time. Not drowning but barely keeping our heads above water.

Ken said one day to me that our lives would never be the same again and that’s true. Within about six months we went from Ken driving us everywhere to me driving. Over the months he had trouble walking which is the most difficult part of this change in our lifestyle. After treatments on the brain tumors and experiencing seizures, Ken is unable to do many things he could navigate just a few weeks ago.

We have been installing and learning about useful items to order or get through advice from a visiting physical therapist and occupational therapist since we signed up with a home health care company. We have gotten a wheelchair, special toilet that fits over regular one, a pole that works with tension so Ken can hold on and pull himself up, a shower tub bench, safety bars installed in a shower, a gait belt with handles to move him more easily, and a gel cushion for sitting comfortably in the wheelchair. There’s more, but it’s overwhelming to figure out how best to use all these items. It’s a lot for me to learn since I am the caregiver. I didn’t have to fill out an application, nor send in my resume or email my experience and qualifications for the job. I got it and I’m receiving on the job, hands on training. Ken is my best patient, my best partner and my only one. He can’t fire me and I can’t quit. This is part of being 70ish. I’m ready for the challenges even if I wasn’t ready a few months ago.

Neighbors, family and friends are helping by saying or texting things like: let us know if you need anything or we’re here for you any time of day or night or whatever you need don’t hesitate to ask/ if you need a walking buddy, groceries or food delivered, let us know. These people have been amazingly supportive. I’m definitely leaning on them for moral support as well as supplying trips to the grocery store, treatment centers and doctor’s appointments.

The Big C cannot be erased from our lives, but we can deal with it. I wouldn’t say we’re fighting cancer. We’re delaying it and sidestepping it. We’re learning how to live with it, as an older couple in their 70’s. Ready or not, here it comes.

Those 70ish girls…We’re on the move

Mary Francis McNinch7 Comments

We closed on our new little home in Van, and now we’re in the process of furnishing it. So far, we have a bed. Our sofa and chair are supposed to be delivered on Saturday. It’s been exactly one year since we moved into the RV full-time, and what a year it has been. We’ve spent time traveling and standing still. We much prefer the travel part, but who can afford to do that full-time?

I’ve ordered sheets, a bedspread, a blanket, a shower curtain, a mattress pad, towels, and a set of dishes. All that will be here in the next few days. We’ve picked out furniture for the 2nd bedroom, which will be used as a den, and a table and chair set. We’ll go buy those in the next couple of days. We still need end tables, which we haven’t found yet.

The dining room and part of the living room. Do you like?
The couch with chaise in the den. That’s the sun on the floor.
The new abode! I’ll post real pics when we have actual furniture.

This is all very exciting and very expensive, but we’re thrilled and very grateful that everything so far has gone smoothly.

We have a driveway behind the fence that was built for RV parking. We’ll bring the motor home over the early part of next week when we’re ready to move into the house.

God is good, and like I said, we’re grateful. I can’t wait to write more fun and funny stories and poems as soon as I’m settled into the den. It won’t be the same as the cottage I had at the other house, but I have a feeling the creative juices will be more forthcoming. Like I’ve said a few times here, I’m full of gratitude.

Don’t you just love Val’s stories. They are so filled with humor and truths about being 70ish. Val is the best cousin and friend ever, and I couldn’t be more thrilled that Those 70ish girls has turned into such a fun joint venture.

Those 70ish Girls – The Eyes Have It by Lav

Valerie Halla5 Comments

YOUR BODY MIGHT BE TRYING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING

If you have ever been to the gym or physical therapy, some trainers have crazy names for certain exercises or stretches. For instance, I usually do a floor exercise called the Dead Bug. It’s hard to explain let alone carry out but the other day I was trying to do 15 reps of 3 sets and I hurt myself. As I lay there saying ouch and some other cool words a few times, thinking about a possible scenario if I had to see a doctor, this came to mind.

“Doctor, I was trying to do 15 reps of the Dead Bug on the floor and hurt myself,” I would say.

“You mean you were on the floor after going after it and stomping on a dead bug?” the doctor might reply.

“No, I was exercising doing the Dead Bug and I think maybe I pulled a muscle. It hurts.”

“So is this bug dead? Were you trying to kill this bug? Did it hurt you?”

“No, Doctor. I was just lying down on my back with my knees bent and my arms straight up and doing the Dead Bug,” I explained.

“Ohhh, the dead bug is a dance!” this doctor might counter. “Or is it a Yoga pose?”

I was done trying to explain, in my imaginary meeting with this ghost doctor. I next would tell him or her about other exercises I knew.

“Doctor, I’m 70ish and trying to regularly exercise and I do a series of things like Cat Cows, Donkey Kicks, Clam Shells and the Bird Dog,” I informed him, like I knew what I was talking about.

The doctor would firmly say, “Here’s a prescription for pain. Next time don’t come see me. See a veterinarian!”

You know when we hit the 70’s in age, there are many things we need to face and experience especially regarding our health, not just exercising.

I went to the eye doctor last week finally. I hadn’t been to get my eyes checked for four years. The pandemic had kept me away plus a large dose of procrastination plus fears of facing the truth about my failing, fuzzy, unclear vision. Was I ready to see what was on line four at Dr. Lester’s office? Was I ready to take all those tests of my peripheral vision, recognize dots that move around on a field of white, have lights flashed in my eyes and answer questions challenging which letters I could see?

“Here’s one, here’s two. Which is clearer- one – click – or two? Click. One or two? Can you read any of those?”

“They both look pretty similar,” I replied to the doctor. I had to look through these lenses with a contraption pushed up against my eyes and nose. It was kinda like wearing a Halloween mask without the fun. He continued to project lines of letters all of which didn’t spell one darn word.

“Okay, here’s three, and four. Which is sharper, not just darker, but clearer?” He kept asking me this as he projected the lines of letters over and over. “Three or four?” Was that one a capital B or an 8? I’m not even sure there were numbers mixed in and why did some lines look like secret codes spies would use? I got more and more confused. Couldn’t they just flash lines of song lyrics or something fun to read instead of random letters? Jokes would work for me. Who writes this stuff? Probably some retired first grade teacher who studied the alphabet in reverse then got vindictive and threw in some numbers here and there.

Obviously I wasn’t passing these tests which is understandable because I hadn’t studied. When we were almost finished, the eye doctor exclaimed as he shone a tiny light into my eye and told me to look past his ear. “Oh my! Yup. It’s a cataract cloudy and thick. No wonder you cannot see out of your right eye very well.”

He said the other eye wasn’t as bad but I would need to go have cataract surgery on both and then return in a couple months for new glasses. He went over certain other tests and explained the anatomy of the eye which I sure hope he doesn’t test me on because I was getting pretty tired by then and would fail that also or maybe pull off a D-.

I was like a happy kid walking or rather skipping out of there into freedom and a chance I wouldn’t have anymore tests for some time. The questions had been tough and the exams were long, but the point is: get tested and see your doctors. It is important. Don’t be like me and put it off. So keep exercising and get your eyes checked regularly. Thank goodness for great health, experienced doctors, veterinarians and yoga instructors. Down dog!

WE KNOW BIRD DOG AND OTHER YOGA POSES AND EXERCISES. DOWN DOG IS ONE WE PRACTICE A LOT!

WE ARE GOOOOD DOGS.

BUT WE DO NOT LIKE VETERINARIANS.

Those 70ish girls…Nostalgia

Mary Francis McNinch5 Comments

When I was growing up in the small town of Murdo, SD, I walked home from school each day for noon dinner. It was the biggest meal of the day. We had things like pork chops with corn, mashed potatoes, and gravy. Mom made pot roast and sometimes things like goulash or tuna and noodle casserole. It was all good, but my favorite thing was chicken pot pies with a baked potato. We smashed the potato and dumped the pot pie on top, smooshing it all together. Yum.

2nd grade

Kip and I had pot pies for our evening dinner last night, and though there was no baked potato with it, the taste of the pot pie took me immediately back to the days when Mom made my favorite.

Every school day after eating my huge noon dinner, I would usually get a quarter from Mom so I could stop at the Super Value Store and buy a few pieces of candy for dessert. I wolfed that down on my remaining walk to school. I still marvel at the fact that after eating all that, I could stay awake during Mr Applebee’s 1:00 o’clock history class. I’m not sure I always succeeded.

Christmas dinner with the Parish family. Note how everyone dressed up.

Food often makes for comforting nostalgic memories. I still make Mom’s lemon bars and my daughter Heidi often serves up cream o cheese o cherry pie that tastes just like the pie Mom made for her bridge club. I sometimes make chipped beef on toast, which is made with dried beef and cream gravy. Mom made that as a “jump up” as she called quick and easy meals.

I’m sure my kids remember having chicken pot pies.
My beautiful mom was a great “jump up” cook.

What foods from your childhood do you still make? Isn’t it fun to let your tastebuds take you back?

Those 70ish Girls – Is Butter Considered Clutter? by LAV

Valerie Halla1 Comment

NOTHING SMELLS SO GOOD AS HOMEMADE BREAD WITH BUTTER

I WOULD BE ABLE TO HAUL AWAY YOUR OLD JUNK IN MY GARBAGE TRUCK. LET ME KNOW!

SURE GLAD WE KEPT THESE WADERS AND BOOTS SO I COULD SIT IN A BOAT !

I’m trying to de-clutter our house with the arrival of a brand spanking cleaner new year.

Where can you reduce clutter in your life?

I’m thinking in terms of material objects because it’s not morally right to declutter people from my life- right? Plus it’s probably illegal.

Anyway, I’ve started with getting rid of linens from one cupboard. There were some hot pink sheets that I don’t remember buying nor using. They were snazzy but expendable. Also had some old NFL pattern sheets and pillow cases that our sons liked when they were young. Many various sizes and colors adorned the linens with both flannel types and something called Egyptian cotton type sheets which might’ve been used when they were building the Pyramids to wrap mummies, but I doubt it even though they’re pretty old. Besides the Ancient Egyptians couldn’t afford fancy sheets like I’ve bought at places like Bed, Bath and That’s All or Home Goodies or Tarjay.

You can get pretty wrapped up in discussing sheets and other bed linen.

I washed all the sheets, blankets and table cloths and after folding them, took them to a local benefit shop. It felt good to dump them…uh, donate them. My cupboard shelves looked much more organized and I even washed the shelves before repositioning the stuff to keep. Less was more; more or less.

Next I’ve moved onto closets which I am clearing out this week. It’s difficult to know what to keep because a lot of what’s in this first closet is sentimental. I have tried to decrease the amount of keepsakes from my parent’s but it all has lovely significance: WWII albums and photos. a 1940’s jewelry box, minus the jewelry, old letters, photos, a sewing kit, ancient newspaper articles all yellowed and brittle and many other items. I’m trying to concentrate certain things together, storing them in one storage box instead of three. I’m giving away a spice rack my grandfather from Pennsylvania made, a doll with marker drawing on its head, a needlepoint of the blue/green ocean with perfectly stitched in curvy shaped waves, a stuffed owl, reams of poster size paper for a printer we recycled, old hanging lamps we never installed from 20 years ago, and other odd materials with an emphasis on “odd”.

I’m still in the midst of sweeping and cleaning the floor of this closet and the top shelf. There is still a scent of musty age in this room. I go into the room and survey what I have done so far and start to feel good about getting rid of unwanted things then I see where I’m placing things I have decided to keep: a red electric guitar and small amp, an American flag beautifully folded in a special box given to us at my Dad’s funeral, old framed pictures of my grandparents and my husband’s great grandparents, an antique mirror and a church picture plate from Murdo before they tore down the church, wader boots because you never know when the urge to go flyfishing might hit. Shucks, I’m still keeping a lot. The smell is getting to me. There’s more but I’m midway through cleaning this first closet and have two more closets to go and an entry closet which I might deny I own. I congratulate myself on getting half a closet cleaned.

I’m getting a bit hungry especially since I have worked hard on half a closet partially organizing it. I just made two loaves of homemade bread, (they smell luscious), plus I bought great Irish butter from Costcocoa (you’ve probably spent a few hundred dollars there for huge amounts of stuff you can’t possibly eat nor use in this decade but it’s so cheap!) Out to the kitchen. Even if I never get to declutter another room, closet or cupboard, I’m never throwing away any food, especially butter. Butter is not clutter. I’ve discovered if I keep the doors closed to the bedrooms and the cupboards and closets, no one will notice any tiny bit of clutter. Where can you reduce clutter in your life? I’ll stay in the kitchen while you come up with your own answer. I’m done for today.

Those 70ish Girls- Greatest Stories from the Greatest Friends by Lav

Valerie Halla2 Comments

ANOTHER STORY? SURE! I’M READY. I’LL DRINK TO THAT. KEEP ‘EM COMING!

Met up with an old friend today who my husband and I have known for 37 years. We see him more often now since his wife passed away and he needs good friends supporting him in these tough times.

We talked for 3 and a half hours at a local coffee shop discussing our recent holiday trips. All of us had seen family and had been going new places. We shared all the things we had done lately. Then since we’re 70ish we brought up old stories and people from our past. When we’re 70ish, it’s comforting to talk to friends who are 70ish.

We both hugged our friend as we first walked into the local coffee shop, I lifted my head up and said, “I don’t want to get makeup on your jacket!”

Our friend said, as he often does, “it’s all right. Oh, I have a makeup story!” He has lots of great stories with a solid memory to back them up. He started to tell us about when he was a teenager growing up in New Mexico and was dating a twin. His friend and he went double dating to their high school prom with Vonna and Donna. The twins tried to switch places but the guys knew they were trying to trick them because the twins had slight differences in speech and one was nearsighted and kept asking, “Who is that coming toward us?”

The twin our friend dated also wore thick foundation and loads of makeup. Our friend had borrowed his father’s white dinner jacket for prom night and when he got home, it was all stained on the shoulder with makeup. His Dad didn’t say anything to our friend’s relief and took the dinner jacket to the dry cleaner. Then in another few days he took the same girl to her prom because she went to a different high school. He asked to borrow the jacket from his dad again and without a word, his dad handed him the white dinner jacket, clean and bright. Boy was he happy.

Our old friend can tell stories all day long. Just mention something like “makeup” and he’ll tell you a story. Or like one of us mentioned how our hearing is getting worse since we’re 70ish. Boom. He told a story about his wife a few years back making him go get a hearing test. The doctor said that he had lost a little hearing but overall passed the test and can hear well. Going home that day after his doctor visit, he shared this with his wife. She was so ticked off and angry. She said,”So if your hearing is fine, then you just must not be listening to me when I talk.” He said he tried to listen to her more closely after that.

I’LL LISTEN TO YOU. I AM ALL EARS.

Revitalized by fresh coffee and some sandwiches that day at the local coffee shop, the stories kept flowing. We discussed people we had worked with and what we thought of them. Some were living and some had passed away. It didn’t matter. Next we got onto the subject of movies. Our friend loves Greek films because he’s Greek. He said lately he’s watched old movies from the 1960’s like Zorba the Greek, Never on a Sunday and a newer one that’s hilarious, My Big Fat Greek Wedding. He likes how the characters remind him about his upbringing with Greek parents. “It’s funny but in that movie Greeks are credited with inventing and discovering all things and that’s what my parents said also. Who invented the automobile? Greeks. Who invented pasta? Greeks.”

Our friend is a grand storyteller. Naturally we were so lucky to get to hear him recount many fun stories that day from his perspective. We got to share a few stories of our own but our friend is tough to beat at storytelling. It’s not easy to pass up a chance to hear good friends share their stories. It’s an art, telling a story in an interesting way. I think the Greeks invented it. Next time I can ask my friend if that’s true. He will know.

Those 70ish girls…Harmony

Mary Francis McNinch6 Comments

I had a New Year’s Eve birthday, and I’m now 72ish. Although that’s a big number, I can handle it. My life has gotten pretty exciting lately. Let me tell you why.

After all of our big talk about being just fine with living in an RV full-time, we chickened out. It was just fine until the idea caught up with the reality. As referenced above, we’re not getting any younger. There will come a time when RV travel gets too difficult to undertak, and then what? What if one of us has a health emergency? What if the RV maintenance is too much for my currently very capable Kip? We need a home base. BTW, I’ll also confess that giving up our previous home base has proven to be a costly decision. Oh, well.

We put an offer in on a little house, and it’s been accepted. Barring any unforseen circumstances, we should close by the end of the month.

We don’t have one stick of furniture or duplicates of anything. We are keeping the RV as we’re not ready to give up the ship yet.

So why is the title of this post harmony? Well, a friend of mine asked a group of us to come up with one word for 2024. Harmony was the word I chose.

Harmony in human beings refers to a state of balance, peace, and coherence within individuals. It involves the integration of various aspects of a person’s being, including their thoughts, emotions, values, and actions. (That’s what the dictionary says.)

Good word don’t you think?

Me with my Sanderson cousins when I was 7ish…

Those 70ish Girls- Big Deal Bdays by Lav

Valerie Halla4 Comments

A BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION FROM A FEW YEARS AGO WHEN I TURNED 36.

What makes you feel nostalgic?

Birthdays make me feel nostalgic and sorta jealous. Let me explain.

My cousin has the best birthday celebrations. Her bday is today but she’s been partying for many days previous to it. She sent a picture of herself with her cute haircut dyed gray and wearing a bright red blouse, and a bright smile, grinning from ear to ear with 12 friends and family members eating out together. Her husband was wearing a button down long sleeve shirt and I barely recognized him because most often he’s in a t-shirt, with suspenders and Bermuda shorts. They were seated at one long table. One couple came all the way from Indiana and the husband was all dressed up in a dress shirt, going business casual with a tie and all. (I’ve often wondered why they call it “business casual”. If you mean you’re seriously doing “business,”then dress for success like you mean business. Don’t go all casual. I would probably come in my pj’s since that’s my business casual outfit which I wear quite often. When I mean business, I go to sleep.) My cousin was seated at a place of honor with presents surrounding her. All the guests obviously adored her. It was a big deal bday. It all looked quite different from my bday.

For my birthday my husband took me out for dinner in the Monterey area at a restaurant by the beach. But I didn’t have a dozen people there. In fact, last bday he and I sat alone at a small table eating our appetizers: calimari and French fries, then we ordered some raviolis and sand dabs to share with drinks, even though things were kind of expensive. (Happy birthday!) I didn’t mention it was my bday to the host nor waiter. I don’t like them to draw attention by singing happy birthday to me, although I bet all twelve sang (probably off key) for my cousin’s bday dinner. I also did not get a birthday dessert. (My cousin probably got an entire NY cheesecake.)

We had paid earlier for parking at the automatic parking machine in the restaurant lot, but had trouble entering our car license info. We thought we were all set to drive home, after paying for dinner and leaving a tip, but on the windshield of our car was a parking ticket, neatly wrapped up in a white envelope. (Happy birthday!) We had entered the license plate number incorrectly. This ticket would cost us almost as much as the dinner had, but we could contest it with a copy of the receipt, day and time we had parked and a letter to the parking company authorities, signed and dated within 60 days. (Happy birthday!)

I guess birthdays make me feel nostalgic because as a child my parents threw some fun parties for me and all the grandparents and aunts, uncles and cousins came not to mention another separate party just for my neighbor hood friends and school classmates. It was a big deal as a child. Back in those days, people got dressed up. My relatives looked stylish for our family gathering and at my kids’ party, we little girls wore dresses, with patent leather shoes and anklets (fancy lace bordered socks).

I really need to grow up. No more kiddy parties, right? Birthdays are fun in our 70’s but we do not need a big fuss over them like when we were kids, do we? I’m happy my cousin had people she loves around her for her birthday. She deserves to have fun. Hopefully no one got a parking ticket, dear Cuz. Oh, and if you got my gift and bday card in your mailbox recently, it might not fit so just return it to me. I can take it back and get a refund. I’m going to probably need it anyway to help pay for the ticket.

Thanks, sweet Cuz, and happy big deal birthday. To me, you are a big deal.

WHY ARE WE HANGING OUT WITH THAT CHEF GUY?

Maybe it’s his birthday.

Those 70ish Girls – Santa Friends by Lav

Valerie Halla5 Comments

HOLIDAYS CAN BE STRESSFUL BUT SHINE A LIGHT ON THE TRUE MEANING

As we get older, friends seem like family and we lose some dear ones along the way, letting us know we might go next. But when it comes to the holidays we can be childlike . (You can probably remember a special gift or two you got as a kid) My friends don’t have a lot of money so some of the gifts this year were a bit strange. Six of us met for our annual gift exchange. But we took the gifts home without opening them, because we had all had lunch together and time was limited. We also got carried away with the holiday gift giving. It took me two trips to carry it all to the car. I’m not even sure what some items are for but it was still fun to unwrap and pull out colorful tissue from gift bags revealing these things:

-A plugin snowflake shaped room deodorizer pine or peppermint scented (some assembly required.)

-Friends spoon with cute poem engraved (not for use with food or beverages.)

-Bar of goat milk soap.

-Dog gift catalog with stickers.

-Fifteen individually wrapped pretzels from Pennsylvania which are crunchy and delicious.

– A 2 foot long hand-sewn hanging kitchen piece made of fabric, shaped like a house with a floppy mini-wreath sewn on the door of the house. It has a big pocket on the lower half and two loops on the top suitable for hanging up…somewhere.

-A stick with a cute little gnome at the end.

-Gift cards.

As I opened each gift and card, I kept wondering where I would put these things. The giftcards were the best because then I could go buy what I want, especially the giftcards to a coffee shop. And of course there were also the pieces of jewelry given. You can always put those in your jewelry box, never to remember who gave them to you, or when to wear them. I don’t even want to bring up necklaces getting all tangled up.

My Dad used to say, “It’s the thought that counts.” That kept going through my mind as I looked over the collection of presents. I’m just lucky to have such generous, kind people in my life. It doesn’t matter what they gave me. Their friendship is what counts. They’re probably in turn looking over the gifts I gave them: a mug, kitchen dish towels purchased at a church gift bazaar, candy, and mini scented candles. They’re thinking the same thing I am. What will I do with all these? Do I really need any of this? What were they thinking giving these to me?

It doesn’t matter what you give to others at this time of year because just the giving part is what counts. The friendship is there. There’s love inside each gift. The friends give you meaning at this time of year.

Happy holidays!