Those 70ish Girls

By Lav, alias Gimmy

NEWBORNS KINDA LOOK LIKE LITTLE OLD GRANDPAS.

Our daughter just had her second baby and we are thrilled beyond thrills. We have two grandchildren to be thankful for now and this one was born on her uncle’s birthday. Our oldest son was here visiting and celebrating his birthday, when we got the good news that his sister had her baby.

A friend texted me that in 2027 our son and our new granddaughter will both celebrate Thanksgiving and their birthdays on the same day. That will be fun. What a lot to be thankful for.

After we heard that our daughter got through labor and delivery, we were relieved. We had been anxious and nervous for the past few weeks worrying about her and we live about 12 hours drive from where they live. I was pacing a lot and eating out of sheer worry. I tried to keep up with her appointments, ultrasounds and health reports yet I didn’t want to bother her too much. Being a mother is like being an automatic worry machine. We pump out things to worry about even when there aren’t any. We worry even when our kids are adults and are having kids of their own.

I had been getting more and more stressed as a mother and grandmother, texting nonstop anyone who was involved in my daughter’s pregnancy which seemed to have gone on for…almost 9 months. Yes, that’s right. I did the math correctly. So to ease my mind, I texted her husband, Sam, a few days before my daughter delivered and asked him to PLEASE, keep us posted when they head to the hospital. I didn’t hear back from him so I checked again on my cellphone. Why wasn’t my son-in-law responding? The answer was on my phone. I had texted my boss, also a Sam, with the same last name initial. I had asked my boss to please notify me immediately if his wife went into labor. I have never met his wife. You can imagine how I felt when I realized my mistake. I re-texted my boss on the spot: “Oops, sorry, wrong Sam!”

WHAT? YOU MADE ANOTHER MISTAKE, GIMMY!?!

Later, at 1:50 am last Saturday, Son-in-law Sam texted to let me know they were headed to the hospital and contractions were 3 minutes apart. Baby girl was born five hours later. Everyone was doing well.

I was relieved, ecstatic and ready to go see our new granddaughter.

I didn’t text my boss the good news. But he will be glad to know his wife isn’t in labor. I hope he understands.

The sequel will be: SLOPELESS IN DALLAS

You have hopefully seen the great movie SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE. There’s a comparison here. I know two people who are aimlessly driving all over the country on purpose and they have problems just like the rest of us poor souls. They’re not sleepless and not in Seattle but they are aimless at times ever since they were dealt a problem. This is a bigger problem, however, than probably many of us have, because you see, they’re crooked. They were in a sloping down RV. Yes, they cannot get their house level, their lives are off kilter. They are not on the straight and narrow. But let’s go back and give you the fascinating history on these two.

A few years ago Klip and May had a custom made tiny home manufactured and it was beautiful. They found a country lot in a rural area in a big state somewhere in the USA. They had it set up there after it was built. They were like a young honeymoon couple moving into their brand new home: Thrillingly happy and all set in a custom home with all the amenities . They later had a driveway poured and Klip had a warehouse style garage put on it for his tools, their jeep and the RV camper. It had to be big because his tool collection was humongous plus he had yard equipment: a mower, shovels, rakes, hoes, hose and naturally some power tools. It was his man cave.

There was also a small shed on the new property so May, not wanting to be outdone, had Klip fix it up for her as a she cave. This was a chore. This old shed hadn’t been used in ages. Being meticulous people, believe me, (it takes one to know one and no one knows one like me)- this remodel took several months. After all, it was a shed and it needed to be cleaned, reconstructed with lots of fresh wood, electrical wiring, plumbing, siding, paneling, roofing, paint and help. If you have ever turned a shed into a cave for a woman, you know it isn’t easy. It was small but had possibilities. May was willing to get her cottage comfy and cutely decorated. She was working hard. She had a place for her hats and other collectibles to be displayed

DO YOU LIKE MY HAT? IT CAN ALSO BE TURNED INTO A GIANT SOCK.

SOME TREES AND TOURISTS ON THE LAST TRIP. AT LEAST THE TREES ARE STRAIGHT.

Finally the day came to move in. May wasn’t satisfied though. She wanted the yard to be landscaped and not just with plants. She had the great idea to use rocks, painted rocks. Kind of like the painted desert. Her friends came over for tea and they helped with the rocks. The legacy was being created. The cottage would be a credit to May.

Then something happened. Things clicked into a new gear. I’m not sure if it was in Klip’s mind or May’s. Maybe it was sprouting in both their minds. Maybe the cat, Dolly, used her feline skills and was an undercover psychic. After much discussion, dreaming, analyzing and planning, they decided to sell their tiny house and hit the road. They would live full time as travelers in their RV. I’m not sure what hit them but call it wanderlust or wonderland or Disneyland or AAA. I don’t know.

Now Klip and May travel the country together seeing amazing sights and seeing many friends and relatives living in their long, beautiful RV. They send us all clear crisp pictures of trees, and waterfalls and mountains and lakes and more trees – you get the idea. They have taken many trips but on this latest trip they were beset with a couple mechanical problems. The RV- let’s name her Gladys- had some leveling issues. The hydraulics or something got angry and wouldn’t level with Gladys. Her floor wasn’t even. Klip and May were leaning and it was disconcerting not to mention annoying. They tried to get Gladys repaired and on the straight and level path again but since they were in remote areas, no help was at hand.

IT IS VERY REMOTE AND EVEN THIS EAGLE CANNOT SEE ANY HELP IN SIGHT. ANOTHER TREE PICTURE!

To make a long story even longer, Gladys had also been pounded with hail previously so they needed to get the roof repaired. She couldn’t be left with a holey roof. Now that they’ve gotten back to where they started in their hometown, they have a good doctor for Gladys. Let’s hope this time she can be straightened out.

Soon they will be back to normal and planning another adventure with Gladys and their two faithful dogs. I wonder if they ever run across Yram Sicnarf. Talk about crooked. What is she up to? I sure hope they’re on the level now. They could be harboring the sneaky Yram, but we may never know. I’m just glad they’re settling down and not aimless. Do they look normal to you?

ANOTHER TREE PICTURE!

WHAT IS THAT GAL’S NAME ?

Have you ever had trouble recalling a person’s name, especially someone from your past? If you say, “No,” I would say, “You’re telling a fib!”

When we enter our golden year’s, it becomes harder to remember names, and it happens more frequently, at least it does for me. My retired friend, Barbara, and I went out for lunch yesterday and we had an odd experience as we chatted. We had been teachers in the same district and we were gossiping about people in our past: educators like us.

SO GOOD TO TALK ABOUT PEOPLE WE KNEW. WHO? I cannot remember his name.

“Remember that principal at my school who got fired? His first name was Arthur and his last name started with a D,” my friend started out.

“Was he the principal many years ago and he didn’t last long?” I prompted. “His last name started with a D?” She replied that he had been at her school a long time ago and yes, his last name maybe started with a D.

“Oh, Arthur Adams. That was his name,”she finally blurted out. “Adams!”

“Well, Adams doesn’t start with a D!” I scolded.

“But it has a D in it!” she emphasized. I had to admit that Adams has a D.

I started reminiscing with her about a speech therapist we had in our school district and I threw in some gossipy snarky comment about her (just to keep the conversation interesting).

“What was her name? Hmmm. Oh, Margaret- something. Last name started with a C,” I said wrinkling my brow like Columbo or Sherlock Holmes trying to solve a mystery.

My friend thought a minute. “Margaret McCall.”

“Right! You remembered. Thank you. You have a great memory. But McCall doesn’t begin with a C.”

“But it has a C in it! In fact it has two C’s!” She had a point.

This went on for quite a long time as one of us remembered a person from our past but couldn’t remember the last name or maybe a first name, and vice versa.

We admitted that we were a good team supplying info on past coworkers’ names, but only getting part of the names. However, with each other’s help-we had supplied the person’s full name. After our lunch break, we went to several shops in my little town and bought a few things to start off our holiday shopping. One of my ex-neighbors ran a cute Christmas shop and we enjoyed looking at all her festive decorations, smelling the candle scents, deciding which ornaments to buy and admiring some cute ceramics. I introduced my friend to my previous neighbor, the shop owner, Vera : “Barbara- this is my old neighbor, Vera.” My friend asked my ex-neighbor if she could call when a certain ceramic item became available. She had liked the local ceramics artist.

“Sure. Just write your name and phone number here,” said Vera.

As we walked out of the shop, Barbara’s eyes lit up. “Hey,” she asked me, “What’s Vera’s last name?”

I had to admit I didn’t know, in fact I couldn’t even remotely remember with what letter her last name started.

“You got me there,” I confessed. “Maybe I will ask her next time and you can guess what it is. This has been a fun day”

YES, LET’S TALK ABOUT WHAT’S HER FACE NEXT TIME WE MEET FOR LUNCH!

We have spent the past 3 weeks in Southern California visiting family and, at last, getting some repairs completed on the motor home.

We were in a hail storm while still in Texas, and we’ve had a devil of a time finding someone to repair our damaged roof. We took it to one place that wanted to keep it for over a month, and the cost was twice as much as the insurance company gave us. Kip was finally able to locate a company that was highly recommended, and they actually come to you and complete the installation of what compares to a new roof. We could also stay in the RV while they did it. We made some logistical changes during the process due to the fact that we had to move to a new park in the middle of having the work done. California state parks only allow you to stay 20 days. You have to move out for 2 months. We found a very nice regional park to move to. I highly recommend Bonelli State Park in Pomona and Prado Regional Park in Chino for places to stay in Southern California. Anyway, the roof is repaired, and we’re very happy with how it turned out.

While all this was going on, we managed to see my brother, Billy, and his wife Liz twice and their daughter Erin and her boyfriend, Carlos, once. We were able to spend a bit more time with Gus. He is doing so well. He’s 92 now and in good health. We really enjoyed time spent with everyone.

We are now in Williams, AZ. I’m doing laundry today. We went a couple of days over the usual week between washing, so there’s lots of it.

You’ll never guess what we’re doing tomorrow. We have with us in our storage area the ashes of 5 of our dogs. We’re going to spread them near the Grand Canyon. You can’t dispose of ashes in the canyon. Most of the 5 have been here with us during our travels, so what better place for their final resting place.

I hope this finds all of you who are traveling with us well and happy. It’s been a great trip. We head for Texas on Sunday.

LAV WILL BE TAKING SERIOUS SHORTCUTS WITH HOLIDAY BAKING THIS YEAR

We have all gotten stressed out during the holidays worrying about baking our traditional cookies, breads, pastries, candy, and you name it. (I don’t know what to name it, so I will just add some names later. Besides I often use pointless and useless common sayings.)

CHERRY PIE WAITING TO BE PULLED FRESH FROM THE OVEN

Whatever you plan on baking, remember to stick with your old standbys. Do not try some new trendy desserts or side dishes for that big Thanksgiving dinner. Maybe you’re attempting more healthy dishes with organic ingredients and more new recipes. Forget it. I’m going to say nix, nope, negative and not now. Are you crazy! (Don’t answer that. I’m just saying you might be crazy but you’re not. Although it takes one to know one. I’m sorry if that offends you but it’s just a saying.)

APPLE PIE SHORTCUT – COMING SOON

Often when trying some new recipes for a special occasion, the food doesn’t turn out like you had planned, so stick with what you know tastes delicious and have made previously. Older is better. Don’t test out new recipes on your poor family, friends and guests.

Another problem I have encountered when neighbors have smelled the aroma of burning food coming fresh from my oven and kitchen, is that I wait too long to cook for the holidays. I don’t plan ahead. I rush. I think maybe all the necessary ingredients are on hand. They aren’t always, so I run to the grocery store, or substitute an ingredient or simply leave the missing ingredient out and try cooking a great food item without all that’s needed. (When in doubt, do not throw it out. Persist. Improvise. Experiment cautiously.) Substitute something you think will work just as well. Butter can work if you don’t have shortening. Almonds will work if you don’t have walnuts. Water won’t work if you do not have milk. Believe me. Ask a cow.

BLUEBERRY PIE

I hope you have enjoyed my shortcuts for baking pies. It was fun sharing my extensive and expensive experimentation experiences in the kitchen with you. (Don’t let me know how it goes. I’ve got my own problems.)

KEY LIME PIE

When Kip and I were driving the 20 miles from our campsite to the entrance of Yellowstone National Park, I was telling him that Grandpa Sanderson took my brother, Billy, on a trip to Yellowstone when he was 8 years old. That led me to begin thinking about all the things Grandpa did for his grandchildren.

When I was in high school, he drove me all the way from Murdo to Vermillion, SD, which was almost day’s trip, so I could attend music camp.

One day, when I was out with him fishing in his boat, he gave me a really nice jack knife. I have no idea what happened to it. I lost it somewhere along the line. He gave Billy a knife, too. The next time they were out fishing, Grandpa asked Billy where his knife was. Billy said he left it at home. Grandpa said he guessed it wouldn’t get lost that way.

That day, when Kip and I were on the way to the park, I silently thanked Grandpa for all the things he had done for me while I was growing up. I said, “Grandpa, I hope you can hear my thanks. If you can, please give me some sort of a sign.”

We had a wonderful morning seeing the sites at Yellowstone. While we were sitting at a picnic table eating lunch, Kip looked up and saw a lady walking by. She had a T shirt on that said, “Sanderson Witch Museum.” I was flabbergasted, and I took it as a sign that Grandpa Sanderson had heard my message. I am certain he didn’t believe in witches, but he would have known that seeing the Sanderson name would have gotten my attention.

By the way, the Sanderson Witch Museum displays a history of the Salem, Massachusetts, witch trials. Three Sanderson sisters, no relation to me, were among the accused. I do have a connection to another Salem witch. She was my grandmother several times removed. Her name was Suzanna North, and she was one of the 19 who were hanged. My cousin Bobby Haverberg discovered our link to her when he was researching the Sanderson family ancestry.

In any case, I had a very special grandpa, and I hope he truly felt appreciated.

By Valerie Halla

THIS BEAR HAS NOTHING ON ME. PRETTY SURE I CAN OUTSMART HIM!

There’s a great store nearby that’s called The Outside In and I can identify with that name. I’m not sure what that refers to but maybe it means you can bring outside things like fresh air, plants or beautiful flowers from the outside indoors. I’m thinking of other things though. Have you ever worn anything inside out or backwards or upside down? I’ve done it without even realizing that I had goofed.

Once I went to work with my blouse on inside out. It was buttoned so I just slipped it over my head and off I went, except with an inside out blouse. Maybe you have tried that also or maybe you weren’t as tired and bleary eyed as I was. Having three little kids and trying to get them ready for school and out the door at the same time I was going to work, made mornings hectic not to mention crazy, with a capital K.

A nice friend and coworker mentioned my inside out blouse later that day and sure enough, I looked down and the seams were showing on the outside and even though I was comfortable, the blouse just didn’t look right. This was probably on a Monday since Mondays can be pretty tough when you have had a great weekend watching tv, staying up late, sleeping in, and just trying to do all the chores and kids’ stuff in two measly days. It’s insane insanity with a capital E.

I didn’t learn my lesson though. A few months later, I went to work with my earrings on backwards. Another loyal friend and teacher mentioned that my earrings were on backwards. I quickly fixed them and no harm was done except to my modesty. The earrings actually looked good either way. No one cared.

Turns out I did not change even into my 70ish years. You would think getting wiser follows along with getting older. No, that logic doesn’t work for me all the time. I think that I started out a few cards short of a full deck into my 30ish years, then I was always a bit behind mentally, with a capital B. The other night I was so tired that I slept all night with my pajamas on inside out. Sheesh. I still slept fine.

I DO NOT KNOW WHY ANY DOGGIE WOULD WEAR EARRINGS. THESE HUMANS ARE WHACKY. PLUS I NEVER WEAR MY FUR COAT BACKWARDS.

SHE DOES LOOK PRETTY SILLY!

INSIDE OUT? NOOO, MY EARS ALWAYS LOOK LIKE THIS.

I remember my cousin made some inside out and upside down Halloween costume a while ago and she even did a video with instructions on how to make that weirdly unique outfit. I’m not sure it caught on but she thought it was a winner in the world of Halloween originality. The pants were the top and the top was the pants part. She can probably revive her idea for her upside down backwards costume if we ask her. Maybe I will ask her with compliments first, a lemon bar offering and suggest nicely that she should redo her costume idea. She’s always ready to share her expertise with a capital X.

EVERY PART OF ME IS BALANCED AND CORRECTLY ALIGNED! I HAVE HAD LOTS OF YOGA OBVIOUSLY.

We have been at a KOA near the park for 2 days and will be staying another 2. We’re trying to reach the place that is going to be doing all the repairs on the RV to see if we can get it in before the 30th. It would sure be nice if we didn’t have to wait that long. Since we’ll be staying at a motel while the work is being done, we would like to get that part behind us.

We really enjoyed our full day at Sequoia and Kings Canyon National Parks. They are adjacent to each other, so that made it nice. We were able to see Sherman’s tree, which is the largest Sequoia. It’s at Sequoia NP, and Grant’s tree, which is the 2nd largest, is at King’s Canyon. There is also a tree at King’s Canyon, which is 3000 years old. It’s big, but not as big as the other 2 trees. These giant spectacles have all survived 100s of forest fires. They even have big burn scars.

Counting the coastal redwoods, we have seen a lot of magnificent trees in the past 2 weeks. It has been an awesome experience.

By Valerie Halla

GOOFUPS KNOW NO AGE

We have all heard the saying, “I thought I made a mistake one time, but I was mistaken” and I often berate myself for being careless and making silly mistakes now that I’m older, but then I think back. When I was younger and teaching elementary school, often the days would be tiring and stressful. We teachers would be working hard and looking forward to a vacation or the weekend. The job of teachers is physically and mentally tough. One morning I had picked up my brightly colored attendance folder in the office and as usual was about to take roll call and hot lunch count but I couldn’t find my folder. As my students got their backpacks, sweaters and other items settled and were taking their seats, I got their attention with my normal signal and asked, “Has anyone seen my bright yellow attendance folder?”

One helpful yet outspoken young third grader said, “Teacher, it’s tucked under your arm there.”

Sure enough, not wanting to misplace the folder, I had put it under my armpit as to free up my hands for collecting homework, notes and announcements that came my way. Feeling a bit embarrassed, I thanked my kind student and acknowledged my small mistake overlooking it quickly and moved on. After all, we all make mistakes, even teachers and setting an example in front of the 30 youngsters that we learn from our mistakes but we forgive and forget and forge on was a valuable lesson

Another teacher told me she had goofed now and then also and sometimes you are just tired and get careless. She was getting her first grade students ready to go home and lining up bussers, walkers and those who stayed after school for daycare into different lines. She was rushing and picked up a sweater she had found haphazardly. “Class, whose sweater is this?” she chimed in her loud friendly voice.

A little boy’s voice softly told her as he got closer, “Uhhh, Mrs. Smith, that’s your sweater.” She felt silly but brushed it off saying “thank you” to him.

Mistakes happen and they don’t just happen to old folks even though we aren’t as sharp as we used to be. A good thing to do is just acknowledge your errors and move forward.

MISS CRABAPPLE

Another teacher and I had a deal to timeout any students in each other’s class, if any were repeatedly misbehaving. We would send over a note with the student and have that kid sit by us at an extra timeout desk we had set up for a period of time. This teacher and I also liked the old “Little Rascal’s” movies, especially the ones with the adorable kind young teacher they had ironically named “Miss Crabapple” or “Crabby”. She was far from being crabby which made it all the funnier. We even took up the habit of calling one another “Crabby”. As we passed in the office or went by taking our class to PE or recess we would yell out, “Hey, Crabby!” to one another.

One day I was absent and a crotchety older teacher who had retired was subbing for me unbeknownst to my teacher friend. This older retired teacher had a reputation for being strict and grumpy in the 30 years she had taught. My teacher friend sent over a student of hers for a timeout with a note that explained, “Crabby- please timeout Devon for 15 minutes. Thanks.”

When I returned the next day my friend had found out that the “Crabby” note had gone to the grumpy old substitute teacher and told me about it. We both had a laugh but also felt badly for the sub. The older sub lady had never said anything about the note so maybe she had shrugged it off or understood my friend hadn’t been calling her a crabby teacher but meant the note for me.

AN ENDURING FUNNY MISTAKE

Over twenty years later we still laugh about the mistake with the Crabby note going to the wrong person and now that I am retired, I often go visit school where I taught and did testing for over 30 years. My friend, who is much younger than me, sees me across campus sometimes and yells out, “Hi, Crabby!” and I yell back, “Hey, Crabby!” We still like the old story about the day I wasn’t at school and we still like the Little Rascals.