The whole town of Murdo is on pins and needles. They have one question on their minds. Who stole Barney Fife’s gun, then brought it back and why? The only one who has been officially eliminated as a suspect is Otis Campbell. The Murdoites think at least 2 people know, or have a pretty good idea who the Gun Ghost is. The Queen tried her best to blurt it out at the press conference, but Barney stopped her. He then went into great detail to explain why Otis had been eliminated as a suspect. As with most things involving our beloved Queen, confusion reigns. Several Murdoites went to Murdo Wall Drug for ice water and lemons after the press conference broke up. There were a few noticeably absent.
Murdo Girl and Barney are in a private meeting over at the jail house.
Murdo Girl: So now what do we do Barney? This whole town is stirred up and if we don’t tell them pretty soon who the Gun Ghost is, they’ll lynch us both, and I’m not ready to have my platform pulled out from under me. As it stands now, people are questioning if either one of us should be President.
Barney: Sniffing. Don’t I know it Murdo Girl. I’ve been feeling the heat ever since my gun went missing. Who wants a Deputy Sheriff who loses his gun, then finds out it’s been hanging on a nail underneath a prisoner’s hat?
Murdo Girl: And who wants a President who is rumored to have used dirty tricks to make the Deputy look bad?
Barney: I see what you mean Murdo Girl, your short comings are way worse than mine.
Murdo Girl: Hold it Baaaaaarn. You’re shortcomings are way way worse than mine.
Murdo Girl and Barney: Truce..Truce
Barney: The only trouble is, when we tell everyone who the Gun Ghost is, and the story behind the story…
Murdo Girl: We have to have a plan Barney. The Queen won’t keep her lip zipped much longer. I have an Idea. Let’s sit here and recreate what happened.
It all started the day of the parade. It was a sunny day, and all the birds were singing. That evening, after the town had quieted down some, a tired Deputy Barney went back to the jail to lock it up. When he walked through the door, he heard a sound, yes, a sound of a wheeze, no not a wheeze, a snore. A SNORE?! What in tarnation? With his heart sinking down to his shoes, Barney turned around knowing what he would see. Otis sleeping in the jail cell. Barney had left it open because if he happened to arrest someone, it was easier to throw them in the cell and slam the door shut, rather than go find the key and go through all those extra steps.
Anyway, he knew it was no use trying to wake Otis up and get him out of there, so he locked the jailhouse door, but not the cell door. Then he poured himself a cup of day old coffee, hung up his holster, sat down at the desk and propped his feet up. Soon, there was the sound of two snorers snoring.
Fast forward one hour: There is still the sound of two snorers snoring. Suddenly, Otis wakes up. It takes him a minute to remember where he is. He’s never been to Murdo before. He doesn’t know this jailhouse. He walks over and peeks out the open door and sees Barney fast asleep. Now what? He thinks. He’s supposed to keep Barney up and busy all night. It was part of the deal he made with the Murdo Girl camp. They wanted Barney off his game. In turn, they would get Otis and Mrs. Campbell relocated to Murdo. They even got his community service transferred from Mayberry. Otis missed old Barney anyway, so it was easy to sell him on the new cell.
All this was going through Otis’s mind as he sat down in the chair on the other side of Barney’s desk. Then Otis could not believe either his eyes or his ears. Barney started singing in his sleep. Yes there were times, I’m sure you knew, when I bit off more than I could chew, but through it all, when there was doubt, I ate it up and spit it out. I faced it all and stood real tall and did it my way.
Otis walks around the desk and shakes Barney. He tries to tell him that he’s singing Murdo Girl’s campaign song, but Barney just keeps on singing in his sleep. Otis gets so nervous he decides he has to get someone to help, but first he better find some way to quench his awful thirst. Now Barney is there alone. He’s either walking in his sleep or just unsteady, but something in his subconscious tells him he should get the keys and lock up that cell Otis is in, and put his holster back on. (He doesn’t know Otis left.) Instead, he gets his gun out of his holster, hangs it on the wall where the hats go, and puts the keys on the ring where the keys do go. He puts his holster back up where the holster goes, and goes back to sleep. Otis comes back without help, because he quenched his thirst too much. He stumbles over and hangs his hat on the hook where the hats go, and where the gun is, goes back in his cell, shuts the door and goes to sleep.
Mystery solved. Everybody’s plan backfired. Barney couldn’t find his gun because he was asleep when he hung it on the hook. Otis didn’t do what the Murdo girl camp asked him to, but he didn’t remember that he didn’t. Murdo Girl thought he did, because Barney was tired and twitterpated. Not one person was a viable witness to what happened. When they asked the Queen how she knew who the Gun Ghost was she said, “she dreamed it.” When she told the story to Murdo Girl and Barney, they figured out the rest, and decided they were going to listen to the Queen a little better in the future.
Now try to tell all that to the general public while looking Presidential
The Murdo Girl Team
The Murdo Girl bodyguards. Now what’s she doing?
The Murdo Girl Stuff
***************************************************************************Next..Will Murdo Girl and Barney opt for a credible cover-up or will they tell the truth as they know it? Will the Murdoite’s believe the truth? Does anybody really know the truth? Will confusion still reign, or will the Queen buy a smaller crown? Will Yram keep her job at the Murdo Coyote? What are Thelma and Louise up to? Do you know what I think? I think we should have more fun things like the parade. Let’s have a town party!
Epilogue to the Gun Ghost Story
There is a flaw in this story. If any of you readers figure it out, tell me, but don’t tell them. There is an answer to every question. I ‘m pretty sure anyway, unless there isn’t.
When did Barney discover his gun was missing? The morning after the parade
When was it first discovered under Otis’s hat? several days later after the 4th
You don’t have to solve a mystery, only discover the flaw