The Coyote County Convention and The Lone Wolf Convention are at long last behind us. The votes have all been counted and recorded. Yet with all that, the winner and candidate for Next Pres is still unknown. Murdo has 300 eligible delegate/ voters, who each have 2 votes. Murdo Girl has secured 300. If everyone voted instead of “sitting this one out,” and if the absenteeism votes all got to the Registrar’s office in time, the best that Barney can hope for, is a tie. (Barney’s convention got messy which is why his votes got in just under the wire.) No one has thought about what happens in the case of a tie, but it’s been made clear there can be only one candidate to emerge from this perfect storm. Only one will go on the ballot with The Donald and Hillary. So who is it going to be?
The Town Crier cried out an announcement this morning. The cry was to advise the good citizens of Murdo of a press conference to be held on the Courthouse steps at 2:00 p.m. (Give or take a little due to the foreclosure auction which starts at 1:00 o’clock.)
It’s now 2:00 p.m. and all those chomping at the bit to witness this historical event, appear to be here. It looks like quite a crowd. Murdo Girl and her VP pick, Lav, are seated to the right of the podium. Maybe it’s just me but, should they be wearing their crowns? Barney will be announcing his VP pick, if he needs one; which he won’t if he doesn’t get 300 votes. He is sitting to the left of the podium next to an empty chair.
Here comes Our Miss Brookes, the Registrar, headed to the podium.
Our Miss Brookes: The Office of the Registrar, for the County of Jones, in the town of Murdo is prepared to announce the candidate who has the sufficient number of delegate/ votes to be our nominee for Next Pres. Hhhm (clears throat.) As has been widely reported, Murdo girl has received 300 votes. Now, may I please have the envelope with the results of The Lone Wolf delegate/vote. I said, May I please have the envelope with the results of the Lone Wolf delegate/vote!!!
Barney: jumps up:…Oh for crying out loud! who has the envelope?
At which point the Town Crier starts boohooing.
Town Crier: Did someone say for crying out loud? Okay, I will…Why am I crying?
Suddenly!! The crowd parts, you can hear murmurs and mumbling among the mass of people in the Courthouse courtyard.
A familiar voice says: I do.
Everyone watches and claps as… who before their wondering eyes should appear? Sheriff Duke, we think.
Sheriff Duke: Hold your horses Pilgrim lady Brookes. By the way are you related to Our Miss Brookes? I worked with her on a movie once. Never mind, we’ll talk later. The folks are getting mighty restless. He then hands the envelope with the results of the Lone Wolf delegate/voters tally to Registrar Brookes.
Our Miss Brookes: Ahem… Well, Hi Duke. How’s life been treatin ya? Does anyone have a letter opener? (Just kidding.) She Puts on her readers and ever so slowly opens the envelope, in which all of our futures may rest.
The final tally for Deputy Barney Fife, the candidate for the Lone Wolf party is…………….299. Yes Deputy Barney Fife received 299 votes. I hereby declare Murdo Girl with the Coyote party the winner! She will be smashing glass ceilings as the first ever Coyote candidate running for Next Pres. (Plus she’s a girl.)
Sheriff Duke: Wait just a minute little Pilgrim lady…You’re forgetting one thing.
(Just kidding??) We shall see what we shall see.
This is me..don’t even think about hurting me. I have friends in high places.