It’s Monday Morning in the town that bears the moniker of the famous Murdo McKenzie. If one more person says, “Give me an M,” I’m going to manifest a murder!
Anyway, Murdo Girl is at the Brick House meeting with the contractor to go over some renovation ideas.
Murdo Girl: Thank you Mr. Man, for coming over on such short notice. Are you any relation to Mrs. Man?
Mr. Man: No mam. There is no Mrs. Man. As a matter of fact, I don’t have any family here in the metropolis of Murdo. I just moved here from Martin. I heard you might be needing a good architect. This Brick House has been sitting on this mini mountain for a very long time and I’m sure it’s going to need a lot of work (sniff).
Murdo Girl: Oh Yeah. Say, I have some pressing Next Pres business to take care of, so I’m going to turn you over to the Person In Charge of Brick House Functions.
Pico: Nice to meet you Mr. Man. Like the White House in Washington, we want The Brick House to be attractive yet practical. We’re going to name our rooms too. The White House has The Lincoln Bedroom. This room over here is going to be named Peters Perch. The room down the hall and on the left, is Deidtrich Den. The room over there, watch your step.. used to be the bookkeeping and typing room. It will be called Nash Nook. The room that used to be the history room will be called, The Rose Garden. There is no way we can grow roses outside, so we’re just going t get some cheap vases and plastic roses at The Gamble’s Store.
You might be asking why we didn’t name the History classroom after Coach Applebee. With all due respect, we are not going to name one more thing after him or Mr. Thune. They took up the whole Auditorium. Up those stairs right there, is where the Superintendent’s office used to be. Now of course, it will be the Next Pres Office. We’ll call it Next Pres Office. Murdo Girl’s sleeping quarters will be in the room just down those few steps and on the right. We’re going to have to name it something. The Kitchen will be down the stairs where the Chemistry room was. The employee lounge will be in what used to be the Library.
Now Mr. Man, we are sparing no expense. The sky is the limit!
Mr. Man: There certainly is a lot of work to be done here. I’ll draw up some preliminary plans and get some bids from subcontractors. How soon would you like to meet again to go over the final proposal?
Pico: Huh? We just want you to paint some signs to put above all the doors. Use all the same size boards for every room. If the name is too long, just leave off a few letters.
Oh, and Mr. Man? We need a sign that says Haugh Land. We’re naming the football field Haugh Land.
Mr. Man: You mean you don’t need me to make any changes in the kitchen or bathrooms?
Pico: No, we’re just going to order pizza from Prairie Pizza or take everybody to Ferns or the Diner, or that new place Rustic something. The Drive In right over there has the best Rubarb shakes. Kathleen makes them. Then there is the Star and the Buffalo Bar, they have steaks. Have you been to Mack’s Cafe?
None of us cook, so our State Dinners will be Town Dinners at the Diners. When dignitaries from White river, Vivian or Presho come, we’ll just meet them at the restaurant. Are you feeling okay Mr. Man?
Meanwhile, there is a trouble brewing at the Next V Pres headquarters above Sanderson’s Store.
Lav: I’m taking the room that faces the Street. I want to be able to look out the window and see my red convertible parked down there.
A I: Lav, you don’t have a red convertible. All of us are using the Jeep to get around. We won’t even have that if Jerry doesn’t figure out a way to pay for some gas and an oil change.
Jerry: Don’t talk like I’m not even here. I’m standing right here. I tried to make some money washing windshields at one of the gas stations, but I worked for three days and didn’t get paid. I asked the guy at Don’s Standard why he didn’t pay me and he said it was tips only. I’m just not good at asking for money. It makes me uncomfortable.
A I: Well don’t that beat all? We have a bean counter who’s afraid to ask for beans. We are just one bean away from beanrupcy. Next Pres is really going to like that. She hasn’t even been in office a whole week.
Sherri the Photographic Drawer: You don’t have to talk mean to Jerry A I. Don’t you have someone to spy on? Lav, I’ll draw you a picture of a red convertible. Will that make you feel better?
Lav: BooHooBooHoo. Where is Treason? She promised to take me crown shopping. BooHoo!
Right in the middle of this…here comes the Defense Monitor
The Defense Monitor: I’m here for a cabinet meeting. I assume you are all here for the same reason. Can you tell me where the meeting is being held?
The Town Cryer: Gets up and yells, I know, I Know. the cabinets are right across the hall. Come on, I’ll show you.
Carol the singer: Wait for me, I’m here to sing the Murdo Matters song before the meeting.
Defense Monitor: When I was coming up the stairs just now, it sounded like you were all involved in a “ruckus.” It seems like someone was picking on you, Jerry and Lav. I’m having a class on defense mechanisms. You two should come and learn how to defend yourselves against bullies. It’s at Mack’s Cafe. You only have to pay $5.00 and you get a free meal. If you’ve had a traffic ticket, and need to take the Driver’s Safety course, I’ll give you both for $8.00 and throw in dessert. My motto is, “Stressed spelled backwards is Desserts.”
Give me a break. At least there aren’t any M’s in it.