It’s Monday morning at the Brick House. Everything appears to be back to normal after the New Year’s Eve party that didn’t happen. Let me rephrase. It’s as normal as it ever gets around here. It seems the constituents had better things to do New Year’s Eve than sit around a cold old school house and eat beans and bacon. Oh well, the team/cabinet members were all here, and beans taste better the second day anyway.
Murdo Girl is at her desk preparing for the day. Every paper on her desk is a demand for money, and since she has no money, there is really nothing to do to prepare for the day. As she contemplates this, Yram Sicnarf walks into the Oblong Office.
MG: Well hello Yram. Dare I ask what you’re up to today? The New Year’s Eve debacle was rather unfortunate, but then again, what would a Brick House party be without a debacle or two?
Yram: Yeah, or three or four. I just stayed out of the way and took notes. Although it probably wasn’t the best night to do one of my crack up reports, I had to get my quota for the year. I set goals for myself you know. It’s real professional to do that. I turned it into the Coyote so they could get it in this week’s edition, but they gave it back to me.
MG: Because of content?
Yram: No, because it was fraught with misspelled words and incorrect punctuation. Some of the words I used didn’t mean what I thought they did, so it has to be corrected. It’s pretty depressing…guess I need to read the dictionary. I heard it’s one of those books you just can’t put down.
MG: Okay Yram, hand it over, let’s see what you’ve got.
New Years Eve at the Brick House
by stuff writer Yram Sicnarf
On December 31 of the year 1977 we had a spectacle party to sellabrate bringing in the New Year. (That’s why they call it a New Year’s Evening sellabration.) It was a real snoozer. Since there was not a televised means to watch a ball dropping finale, we put the Town Crier up on a ladder and gave her a ball to drop. She was supposed to wait until it struck midnight, but she dropped it early and it struck an inibrated guest who is usually inibrated, but functional. Now he’s no longer a functional inibrated guest. I guess you can’t even call him a guest, because he was forcefully, without his content, driven here by Lav, because she didn’t have enough gas to get him to be imprisoned where he normally sleeps off his stupid, or is it stupor?
Later that same evening, it was still 1977. Pico brought out a game of something or other. The name has failed me. It’s one where you can’t talk. You do whatever you think will make the people on your team guess what a card you pick says you are. They have to get it before the time is up. Everything went along fantastical until two very critical things happened.
Number one.. A I wanted to throw Sherri the Photographic drawer out of the game, because it was the census of everyone that she was cheating. That turned into a big bruhaha until MG (The Pres) said just because Sherri could draw better than everyone, and thought they were playing another game where you draw a picture; that would not be considered classical cheating. Finally that all got settled and Sherri was allowed to back in.
Number two.. DM being the competition guy he is, went a little too far with his pretense and took the ball that was dropped too soon, and set it on fire. You have probably already figured out he was trying to portend, “‘Goodness, Gracious, Great balls a Fire!” Just to refresh yourself, I believe it was a song written and sung by the late, great, and our very own, Jerry the bean counter. He is still alive so he must be late a lot.
Oh Goodness Gracious! I have misspoke and misswrit. Jerry the Bean Counter did not scribe or sing that song. It was Jerry Lee Lewis who is still alive, but always late, so I wasn’t too far off on what I sumerized. Sorry Jerry the BC if I offended you in anyway. I have no way of knowing if you’re late or on time, because we’ve never had as much as two beans to rub together, euphorically speaking, so we could buy a wall clock, which you can get for down to $5.00 at Gambles. It sure would have helped to know for sure what time to drop the ball. You know, through the fault of nobody, many good ideas don’t reach frutition.
The whole thing kinda reminded me of the humane Nativity we portrayed at the Court House, when Lav the star, fell out of the sky onto Jerry who was holding a burning lantern which fell on Pico. Somehow it involved a tumbleweed, but anyway the whole thing went up in a ball of smoke .
The lesson learned here is to not use fire in your skits and games.
So, that’s about it. Carol led us all in a rendition of ” Josie can you see?” Treason, who was wearing a festive, patriot shirt, handed out celeberatory bowls of beans and bacon to everybody.
MG: No wonder I left early. Who put out the fire Yram?
Yram: No one… it just had to burn itself out. It was in the Gym. In a way it was a good thing because your invitation song said we were going to have fireworks. Do you want me to go see if it’s all the way out MG?
I’m Murdo Girl’s brother Billy (33) and this is MY team. We had better things to do than eat beans and start fires.