I know. I have neglected the Brick House Gang.
We last heard from them several months ago when they all voted to find another use for the Brick House. The whole Next Pres thing was getting boring. I understand there is another meeting underway in the basement gym. Rumor has it that Murdo Girl has a bigly announcement to make.
Murdo Girl: Thank you one and all for attending this mandatory attendance meeting. First let me review what was discussed at the last meeting. It was all about finding a new use for the Brick House without putting any of our jobs in jeopardy. As you all know, we have a very specialized staff.
We have an Aggressive Informant, a Town Crier, a Person in charge of Brick House Functions (Pico), a Liason to the Murdo Coyote, a Bean Counter, a DM (I forgot..what is a DM?) oh yeah..Defense Monitor.), a Singer person, and a town renowned Photographic Drawer…You were all asked to come up with ideas for a business that would allow us to continue to incorporate all of our positions. I got nothing from everyone. Lucky for you I am a very enterprising type person.
Several ideas have been floating about in my head. We could turn the BH into a health club, or we could make it into a farmer’s market BH. We should think outside the BH box. How about a BH bingo hall or a convention center? None of these sound like much fun do they?
I have the perfect solution to our dilema!
Self help is where it’s at. The first meeting is tomorrow night.
The first meeting of the “Brick Help Yourself House”
Murdo Girl: I would like to say a few things about self help. I have not actually tried it myself, but I hear it works. (clears throat)…The first question you need to ask yourself is: What kind of help does yourself need? We accept anything from phobias to plethoras, from Mastercard to cash. Remember yourself, you get what yourself pays for.
I only recently admitted to never stepping on a crack for fear it would break my Mother’s back! She never once asked me to do this. There is a name for this kind of behavior. It’s called volunteerism. No one can volunteer you for anything without your permission, so as an excuse..don’t even go there.
There is self help for everything. I’m personally working to overcome my need to collect things like water towers, rabbits, and crowns. I call it WTRC.
Let’s help this meeting of the minds move forward. Does anyone here have any questions?
The chair recognizes Lav:
Lav: We have ridden in this rodeo before MG…Quit saying you only just now recognize me. We have been Cuzes like forever…Are we still going to be NP and VNP? Can we still ride in red convertibles and wear crowns?
Murdo Girl: What’s your point Lav? This is not a place to air your dirty laundry. That place is next door and it’s expeeeeensive!
Lav: I feel misunderstood. Is there a way I can help myself?
TC: I’ll answer that..Nobody understands you Lav, so the answer is no. I guess I’ll just come right out and say what I’m struggling with. I cry about everything.
A I: Isn’t that your job? You’re the Town Cryer for heavens sake. Besides that, I think self help is for sissies.
Treason: I kind of have to agree with A I. I read about self help in a self help book. The name of it was Self help for Dummies.
Lav: I saw the movie. It was a real tear jerker.
Pico: I’ve been really struggling with nopartyitis. We haven’t had a party for months. If anyone would like some of my mints and nuts, help yourself..or is that self help yourself?
DM: So let me get this straight. We are going to open the Brick House up to loco locals?
Murdo Girl: Well finally, someone has a good question. I thought you would never ask DM.
DM: Ask What?
Sherri the Photographic Drawer: I need something else to draw. I’m sick of drawing Beasterhops MG. I really hope you get the help you need.
Jerry the Bean Counter: How much are we going to charge people to help themselves? I have to keep track of bean flow.
Carol the Singer: I’m reminded of the Beatles song, “Help me if you can I’m feeling down. Please help me get my feet back on the ground. Won’t you please please help me?”
THE QUEEN: I’m a Royal. Royals aren’t allowed to help themselves. We have servants to help ourselves.
Murdo Girl: I’m really excited. Look at all the problems we have to work on and we haven’t even opened up to the public yet. Let’s adjourn. We can all go to the employee lounge and help ourselves to some coffee and Little Debbie Snacks. We have to clear out of the gym anyway. There’s a compulsive crafters meeting at 6:00