I’m on my way to pick up Pearl the dog. I’m early because Pearl the human said we were going to have an employee meeting at 8:00 sharp. It’s okay with me, ’cause I can’t wait to see our beautiful Christmas tree. You should have heard Pearl wheel the deal. That Super Value guy had to hold up every one of those trees for Pearl to inspect. She wanted it to be perfect.Then she made him tie it on top of the clunky old Jeep, ride with us to the Nest and bring it in. He also went and got us a tree stand, because we forgot we needed one. It turns out Pearl had two big boxes of decorations in the cat room, and all of them are shiny gold. We put every one of them on the tree or hung them up somewhere. It’s just dazzling.
When I got to Pearl’s to pick up Pearl, there was a note on the door saying Pearl and Grace and Pearl the dog were already at the Nest and to hurry and get there. People were waiting for the meeting to get started.
Sometimes Pearl thinks strange. There’s only the three of us currently employed there. Maybe she was just practicing for when she gets chains of Pearl’s Busy Nests.
I’m not there yet, but I almost am.
“Hi Pearl, Hi Grace, Hi Pearl the dog. I’m here are you?”
All I heard was sobbing and one little “ruff.” I could see Grace standing there flailing her arms. She was saying, “Oh my, Oh my, Land Sakes, Oh my.” She even said her only swear word. “Joodust Preast.”
When I walked around the corner, I saw a terrible seen, scene. And it didn’t look good for Pearl the dog. She was standing beside the tree whimpering. The tree was NOT standing. It was crashed on the floor. Broken shiny gold balls were everywhere. I did not know what to say, which is unusual for me.
“I’m sure Pearl didn’t mean to wreck the Christmas tree. Um, She just thought it was pretty and wanted to get closer to the shiny gold decorations.”
Pearl the human jumped up. “What are you talking about Essie? Pearl didn’t do anything to that tree. It’s a wonder she didn’t get hurt when it fell over. Go take a close look at the perrrrrfect tree that Stupid Value guy sold us. It looked fine didn’t it? Each branch the exact right distance from the trunk that looks like a serpentine. It winds around so much, why if it was straight that thing would be ten feet tall! Come on Essie,” she said. “We’re going to see that tree guy and he better make this right or that tree trunk won’t be the only twisted thing around.”
The tree guy
Well, I prayed all the way down the hill to the Super Value Store. I might be the deadest one of all if Pearl finds out I told Grace to call the store and warn them what was coming their way.
We walked inside, me behind Pearl. We didn’t get a chance to say anything because the phone hanging on the wall next to where we were standing was ringing and the cashier answered it. “Please, please, please, don’t let that be Grace. I knew Grace wouldn’t be able to word what she needed to say so the checker would know not to say anything that would give us away. It wasn’t Grace on the phone though. It was the store manager.
We heard the clerk say, “Really Mr. King? You and Bruno will be gone all day? Okay…bye.”
“Might I help you?” She said to us.
“Was that the boss and the tree guy you were talking to?” Pearl asked.
“Yes,” said the checker. “It appears they will be out for the rest of the day.”
“Would you mind if I smoked an air cigarette before we leave?” Pearl asked. “My throat is dry, is your’s Essie? Might we have a coca cola on ice, please. I fear I’m so parched I won’t be able to talk to your boss and the tree guy. I see them walking up right now. I believe they’re slapping each other on the back. Hm…curious,” she said. “It appears up to now, they have been enjoying a beautiful day. ”
Pearl snubbed out her air cigarette and stood up to confrunt, confront the two sneaks.
Well, I won’t tell you everything that was said, but we got a beautiful new tree, and Super Value told us to go to the Gamble’s store and get all the decorations we needed. We got green this time because Pearl says she has more green outfits and she doesn’t look particularly good in gold tones.
The employee meeting was put off until tomorrow.