Those 70ish Girls

This is Yram Sicnarf. I was asked to report on our Funny Farm experience, so I have written a little piece for the paper. It seems some of the loco locals think the Funny Farm isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I would be willing to bet they are just repeating some insane things they have heard others say and haven’t even darkened the unhinged door of the Nut House. I promise to tell it like it is. After all, they don’t call me a crack up reporter for nothing.

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Lav rode her horse, named Loopy. Airy and Windy rode in their airplane which is temporarily grounded. They have it on the back of KK’s flatbed truck, which isn’t running with a full deck either. TC, AI, PG, PC and the Ha Ha Sisterhood, rode on the back of the hay wagon kindly provided by the Nut House. (I pulled it with my 1951 Willys Jeep.)

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A day at the Funny Farm, By Yram Sicnarf

It was a barmy day as our group made it’s way to the only certifiable Funny Farm in the state. We figured as long as we were there, we might as well get certified.

Anyway, we made good time and arrived at the gates of the farm shortly before lunchtime. We were greeted at the door by a sweet young lady who said she was Daffy. We assumed Daffy would be the one to register us, but she had us sit in a waiting room and wait for the person who would admit us. That part was a little unpleasant. With the evergrowing Ha Ha sisterhood and all, we’re a pretty large group. One of the Ha Ha’s said she wished they could sit on the nice padded walls instead of the hard old benches. I tell you, those girls drive me bonkers sometimes.

Finally, a very nice looking man came in and said he was there to help us, but he wanted to get to know us first. This upset Lav just a little. She told the nice looking man she was worried about getting Loopy. (We had to leave the horse tied up outside,)

Windy, who is an animal lover said she was touched. The nice man told her she was in the right place.

Airy asked when we would get to eat lunch. She said she was so hungry she could even eat Patty Cake’s fruitcake. He didn’t hear her right because he said she really shouldn’t say fruitcake in a Nut House.

The Ha Ha Sisterhood asked if they could have their picture taken. He said he needed a break, so we could go to the building with a sign out front that said, Unstable. We assumed that was where they kept the horses, so we headed that way. We were gratified when we walked in, to see it was full of people eating lunch. We sat down and waited for someone to take our order.

A nice lady came over and said she was Kookie and handed us all some crackers. Airy said she was hungry for something more substantial and Kookie said there were nut cases in the hall.

Nuts sounded pretty good so we left the Unstable and started wandering every hall we could find looking for the nut cases. A I said she was feeling a little weird, so we went outside and sat under a tree and ate Patty Cake’s upside down cake. We had a great afternoon. We were all entertained by the divine secrets of the Ha Ha Sisterhood, and a group of ladies came by and serenaded us with their rendition of Crazy Arms by Ray Price. They were so cute with their arms all tied up.

By this time it was getting time to head back to town, so we went to find Daffy to thank her for everything. We told her we thought the Farm and and The Nut House were better than we had heard, and the only suggestion we had was they should put their nut cases in a place where people could see them.

So off we went with Lav on Loopy, KK driving the flatbed with Windy and Airy on the back in their airplane, and me in the Jeep pulling the hay wagon with all of the Ha Ha Sisterhood, TC, AI, PG and a few squirrels that were hiding in the hay. They must not have been able to find the nuts either.

I will conclude by saying, it’s a great place to clear the cobwebs out of your head and meet people just like you and me. We will be  going back soon. We forgot our certificates.

Update: PG called to see if they would mail our certificates. The FF said we weren’t certifiable. We weren’t committed enough.