Those 70ish Girls

There is nothing like a Murdo Girl celebration, and boy do we have something to celebrate. Our good friend, Lav is turning a new number. It happens to all living creatures…unless you’re like my mom. She once said she lied about her age so much, she finally became younger than her kids. Lav is not like that. She’s like me. She just flat can’t remember big numbers.

The old Brick House, Road Trip, and White Board House gangs are coming back to celebrate. We are anticipating there will be so many Murdoites and people from surrounding towns attending that we are going to hold it in the Harold Thune Auditorium. Anyone wishing to help organize this major event is welcome to come to the planning meeting tonight at seven. We already have a chair and a co-chair, and they have promised to have plenty of chairs set up for the meeting.

The meeting of the people who have volunteered to help with Lav’s birthday celebration

MG has volunteered to be the facilitator of the meeting and she has come prepared.

MG: Welcome everyone. I haven’t had a chance to visit with each of you yet, but that’s okay, because we will all be working closely together these next few days. I want to make this the best birthday party ever for our friend, and in my case relative, Lav.

Now…I have studied up on what it takes to provide adequate leadership to pull off such a feat and I’m pretty sure I can handle it. The number one duty of an effective leader is:

1. To ensure the committees function properly… ( Did she say function as in functional?)  This is so daunting. Why does everything have to be so hard?

Voice of someone seated way in the back: How long are you going to stand up there and talk to yourself, lady? I have to clean this floor and if you’re having a party here you’re going to have to put the plastic tarp down.

 

 Coach standing on his floor..Where are the chairs?

MG: Oh hello Coach Applefloor. I didn’t recognize you at first. You’re almost standing straight up! Don’t worry about your floor. I’ll organize a committee to put the tarp down.

Coach Applefloor: I play golf now. It requires a person to stand up. I like it,  but the only time I get to yell is when someone is in the way of my golf ball… “Fore!!”

Someone finally shows up to the meeting. They walk to the very front and take a chair.

MG: PG (Presho Girl) is that you? You’re wearing your hair longer and you have a 35 mm digital camera! Does that mean you don’t draw your photographs anymore?

PG: Not too much…arthritis. I’m excited to be here MG. Lav’s the best and I want to help with the party. I’ll get some great pics. Is there a place to buy film around here? I’ll need a dark room with a bulletin board, and a string with clothespins on it. Oh, and a tub with developing stuff in it?

MG: Uh…Oh wait! here comes two more people.

MG: PICO! DM! I’m so happy to see you two! I’m going to pass a committee sign up sheet around. PICO I want you to be in charge of nuts, mints and hobnobbing.

PICO: And punch. I’ll bring punch. All I want to do while I’m in Murdo is hobnob and go to the Pioneer Auto Museum. I like cultured stuff.

MG: DM…I know you like to defense monitor, but will you also help with Coach Applefloor’s tarp. I have a feeling he’s going to be hanging around the whole time. He’s so worried about his floor. It’s named after him, you know.

Suddenly, a loud voice is heard. It’s A I… She yells, “Wait!!! I have been investigating the whole Brick House, White Board House, and the Road Trip gangs and there is one person who holds a grudge. A very big grudge. I fear they want to do us great harm.

MG: Who is it A I?

A I: (Walking around eyeing everyone and looking kind of Barney Fifeish) I’m not quite ready to rat them out yet. I just know they intend to strike the night of the party.

Here comes Jerry the bean counter and KK (Kodak Kadoka).

KK: Sorry I’m late. I’ve been out taking pictures of fence posts. I have post dramatic stress syndrome, you know.

Jerry: Hey, MG…I saw TC (Town Cryer) at Super Value. She said to tell you she’ll be here in a few. She’s trying to find a bargain on a new cheese head. I slipped her a few beans, you know she doesn’t even have two Limas to rub together.

MG: Makes me sad…Anyway, KK, I would like you to be on the greeting committee. Lav will be sitting on a throne. We couldn’t figure out how to get a red convertible in here. You can direct people to the enthroning area and if they have gifts, tell them to drop them at her feet. She’ll like that. Let’s see, who are we missing? What is that loud noise?

A rather loud crashing sound followed by three screams is heard by all!

TC, who is just walking in, cries…It’s the Queen! Long live the Queen! She’s in Windy Lindy Bergh and Airy Heart’s airplane. They just landed in the town swimming pool! I didn’t realize their airplane is amphibious. We better help them get out. The pool is supposed to be closed!

Everyone runs to their aid…

Windy: Well live and learn. I thought we were still flying over the pond, then I saw the auditorium and had to quit propelling and land this thing.

Airy: Where is the Queen? Did we lose her on the descent?

Queen: Glub, Glub, Glub…You said to abort!

Windy: I said, “Where is the airport?”

DM rushes to the scene and has enough presence of mind to throw the Queen a lifesaver and drags her to the side of the pool where she manages to awkwardly get out. DM picks this rather inappropriate time to ask her if she will knight him since he saved her life and all.

MG: Wait! I thought you were bringing Treason (Teresa the Liaison). She likes to fly with A I, but A I is already here. And we’re missing Patty-cake. She’s supposed to make the birthday cake. The cowboy is supposed to come riding in on his pig or trike or something. It wasn’t supposed to be like this! I wanted everyone to function properly!!!

 

Treason, Patty-Cake and Cowboy

Oh no! Barney and Barnella just drove up in the squad car. The siren is going and the lights are whirling around too. Barney gets out, sniffs, hikes his pants up, touches his gun, and says, “I’m here to nip your whatchamacallit party plans in the bud.”

 

Barnella, Barny Fife, and MG

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Look at it this way…It was just the first planning meeting. Things will settle down before Lav gets back. Murdo just has a small jail…I’m not worried. And besides, Yram isn’t even here yet!