Testing, testing, one, two, three. I’m prepping for a colonoscopy.
It started with a lingering cold. I went to the doctor who began to scold.
He said I needed a physical. The last one was two years ago.
Considering all the things he found, I’m surprised I’m even still around.
He said my blood pressure was through the roof. I smiled and asked, “Is this a spoof?”
My cholesterol was way too high…must have been all that Christmas pie.
He sent me to a dermatologist, who sent my skin to a radiologist.
I need dental work on my pearly whites, or I’ll be gumming food not taking bites.
The doctor didn’t tell me so, but there’s another place that I must go.
I’ll be seeing the optometrist. I’ll begrudgingly add him to my list.
When a car behind me tried to pass, instead of slowing down, I hit the gas.
Home and rest were in my sights, but l didn’t see the policeman’s lights.
Don’t worry, I’m going to be just fine. I caught the problem just in time.
I’ve been freed by the simple truth. Those doctors tried to steal my youth.
I’ll stay home when I have a cold and I’ll decide when I get old!
I didn’t even have a chance to show those docs how well I dance.