Murdo Girl…Studies show tinfoil keeps braincells fresh

My brain is deader than a door nail today. Hmm, I thought door nail was one word, but spellcheck tells me, no. I used to think spellcheck was two words, but spellcheck told me it’s one. Sometimes I get tired of spellcheck being so much smarter than I am. The only voice that makes me feel dumber than spellcheck is that of the GPS lady. If I decide to deviate 2 feet from the route, she gets very excited and says things like, “Make a U-turn in 400 feet!!!” At that point bells and whistles go off, and the screen starts going in circles and flashes, “Rerouting! Rerouting!” I know she’s thinking, “I gave you a route AND an alternate route, can’t you just pick one and stick to it??”

I don’t like my every move put into question. In the first place, it’s rather unsettling to have inanimate objects telling me what to do all the time. Kip and I find ourselves whispering if we’re contemplating an unexpected stop. Is it really worth it if it gives the poor woman a coronary? Do I really have to go that badly?

Truth be told, I’m worried that I can’t live without GPS or spellcheck. It all sounds like an example of a sick and twisted relationship doesn’t it? (According to spellcheck, I have misspelled 4 words so far.)

I think that I’m pretty even-tempered. I don’t get ruffled too easily. I have tried to be really good-natured about all the age related teasing. (Spellcheck tried to change natured to matured.) I have listened to all of the advice of well-meaning people who seem to think it’s time for me to change my ways. This all became more of an issue when I reached the age of 65 last week.(This was written two years ago, I’m 67, now.)

I was standing behind a woman in line at the supermarket checkout, yesterday. She was leafing through a health magazine. I guess she thought I needed some helpful suggestions because she said, “Do you know that regular exercise is the best thing you can do to promote longevity?” I said, “I’m over 65. Pushing 70 is exercise enough for me.” Then I added, “These Jelly donuts are for my 102 year old sister.”

I just spelled exercise incorrectly 3 times. I’m glad I finally paid attention. Spellcheck changed it to supersize, then to oversize. Sometimes it tells me, (not in so many words), “Hey, I got nothing for you.”

1-eliza-clothier-current
Mrs. Spellcheck..She looked much younger before she started correcting me.

As far as GPS goes, I can be standing in Walmart and look at my phone to see what time it is, and there will be a message that says, “You are in the Walmart store in Gun Barrel City, Texas. Would you like to add a photo?” Why would I want a photo of myself standing in Walmart? What I would really like to know is why am I there? Please don’t tell me where I am unless you can tell me why.

The way I look at it, middle age is always 10 years older than whatever age I am. You are old if you add, “God willing” to every statement. One of these days I’m going to get brave and drive somewhere without the GPS lady. If I have a map, I know I’ll be able to figure it out, God willing.

For heaven’s sake, our ancestors lived without all the electronics hystrionics. (I spelled hystrionics wrong, but I like it better my way.) I carry so many devices and chargers everywhere I go, I look like I’m ready to climb a telephone pole. Do we even have telephone poles anymore?

I used to try to say growing up in Murdo did not prepare me for automation. Then someone provided me with a list of all the people who graduated from Murdo High School and went on to do things I can’t even pronounce. The list was 3 pages..front and back.

Thank God I’m too old to worry about that, now…I’ll just keep wearing my tinfoil crown and, don’t laugh, age gracefully with Lav.

 

5 thoughts on “Murdo Girl…Studies show tinfoil keeps braincells fresh

  1. countrygirl57 January 26, 2019 / 9:47 pm

    Love this! And I love you too!👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻❤️❤️💗💜🤡

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

    Like

  2. sanjuan831 January 27, 2019 / 7:11 pm

    Laughed my crown off at this. That picture of you kissing your Oscar while your friends eat pie says it all.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Mary Francis McNinch January 29, 2019 / 9:04 pm

      Remember toward the end of our SD weekend, I commented that I was kind of sick of Murdo Girl, and some of my good friends said, “We are too!!!”

      Like

  3. scoper07 January 28, 2019 / 10:26 am

    Sometimes my spelling is so far off spellcheck doesn’t have a clue either. I still live by the “turn right at the red barn and then turn left at the crooked tree” kind of guy. I can get away with it in barren Nebraska so I don’t use electronic guidance. Very funny blog today MG!!

    Like

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