I could get into a lot of trouble for writing this, but I usually write my stories without looking over my shoulder a whole lot. It interferes with my concentration.
When I wrote all of the “Little Murdo Girl” stories, I used everyone’s real first and last names. I never once thought that some people would not appreciate that. No one ever complained. At least not to me. I told it all… but this story is different, so I’m going to call it a docuestory. A true story about what you know first hand, is what you might call a docuestory.
I recently talked to a couple of guys I know who were traveling across the country with Guy #1’s ninety-eight year old mother. I think it’s bad luck to say things like, she’s going to be ninety-nine in a couple of months, so I won’t say that. Anyway, she’s very beautiful and very smart. Her hair is coiffed into one of those styles that doesn’t move for a week even in the South Dakota wind. She dresses to the nines from top to bottom and has beautiful nails.
While the threesome was driving across country, they decided to call and check on me. Guy #2 was driving, 98+ was in the back seat, and Guy #1 was in the passenger’s seat with B time on his hands. Do you know what B time is? Guy #1 didn’t know either, until I told him. Billy told me about it.
Let me explain…A time is when someone calls you when you’re at work, watching a movie, reading your children a book, reading yourself a book, or anything that is more important than talking on the phone with someone who you may or may not feel compelled to talk to except on B time. It’s pretty self explanatory. If you are driving your car, it’s always B time. It used to be easier when you could use your cell phone while driving. ( You still can if you’re a passenger, or if you have one of those hands free things, or live in Murdo, SD or Mabank, TX.)
B time can also be a situation like this person found herself in. It’s called, I’m sitting around looking beautiful, but I have a broken leg, time.
BTW I don’t really like those hands free things. If you have your phone with you and your bluetooth is on and someone texts you, it comes up on the screen and if your husband’s name is Kip, he hits the listen button. It will say, TEXT FROM PAT or another one of my friends. Then I have to try to remember all recent conversations and ascertain if there might be something sensitive in the text. The voice of GPS reads the message to you. I call it C time for “Could be awkward.”
Oh No!!! Call from Trixie!!!
Back to my docuestory. I ended up talking with the three travelers for over three hours in three different sessions. Guy #1 did the talking with an occasional fact check from the driver, Guy #2 and 98+ changed the subject a few times, which made us forget what we were talking about.
(Lav likes to collect Styrofoam cups on her A time. She’s going to make some Colon Cancer Cups for my boxes with them. She also talked with the threesome for an hour.)
I decided that even though I had some A stuff to do, I would hang in there as long as they did. We were at the end of hour three, when we went back in time as far as discussing a girl who went to school with Guy #1 and I. 98+ said the girl only weighed 1.5 lbs when she was born. Right about then, the line went dead. Lines don’t go dead anymore do they? There are no lines. I guess the mountains around Murdo interfered with the cell signal. Anyway, I have my suspicions, but I’ll make no accusations. Remember this is a docuestory so I have to stick with the facts. I just think someone had to stop to use the bathroom or get something to eat, which are both A time activities. It’s the hardest thing to do. I’m talking about switching from B to A time when you’re on the phone and get to where you’re going.
I had a lot more to tell you about their trip, but I have a headache now so this is it. I’ll change the title of this to B time. It was going to be, A Docuestory You’ll Never Forget.
Besides, I’m spending too much A time writing about B time.
My name is Murdobird, but I’m not from Murdo. I’m flying there tomorrow. Is everyone there like her? I thought B time was for bird watching.
They call you Murdobird because you’re wearing orange and black… Has anyone seen my pom poms?