Pearl started putting cornstarch in her Elixerfixer and then called it new and improved. All the women were buying it and losing weight. The cornstarch and hot water thickened in their stomachs and maded them feel full. They were buying that stuff like there was no tomorrow.
Well, our success was short lived. The very day that Pearl doubled her sales, Mack’s Cafe had a roast beef and mashed potatoes with lots of gravy, special. That gravy hit all that cornstarch and hot water in the ladies’ stomachs and they all felt like they’d swallowed twenty pounds of concrete. They feared they’d been poisoned by the beef. The real dramatic ones were sure they were knocking on death’s door. Doc Brown was called to the scene and it wasn’t long before the Doc, followed by twelve sick women came marching over to The Busy Nest. We saw them coming and could tell they all had their knickers in a twist.
Pearl: Why Doc Brown, what an unexpected pleasure, and my goodness, you brought some ladies with you. Welcome to The Busy Nest.
Grace: Pearl, don’t you recognize these ladies? They were just in here to buy new bottles of Elixerfixer.
Doc Brown: So I’ve been told. It seems all of these ladies took their dose of your famous elixer shortly before eating Mack’s Cafe’s special, consisting of roast beef with mashed potatoes and lots of gravy.
Grace: Do they make their gravy with cornstarch?
Pearl: Grace, dear, would you mind going to get the mail?
Doc: I was looking at the very fine print on the back of the label and it just says it’s made with all natural ingredients. Would you mind telling me what they are?
Pearl: Certainly…I travel many miles to purchase the greatly sought after freshly distilled spring water it contains.
Grace: It’s the kind you put in your steam iron so it won’t clog up.
Pearl: Grace, the mail! I add a very carefully measured amount of extract from the endosperm of corn, li’mon juice from a small producer in Arizona, and mother’s apple cider vinegar. Believe me, it’s a very precise combination.
Grace: Can you believe we can get all that stuff in Pierre at The Red Owl Store?
Well, Doc Brown happened to know that extract from the endosperm of corn was cornstarch and concluded, when followed with hot water, it would swell up in the stomach enough without adding a good amount of gravy to it.
Those ladies were bound up for a week and our new and improved Elixerfixer sat on the shelf and thickened.
I’m bringing Pearl the dog back to Pearl the human’s apartment. We had a really long walk. I would rather take a beating than have to deal with Pearl this morning.
You see the value of Pearl’s Elixerfixer sunk like the cornstarch in the stomachs of at least twelve Murdo women. Doc Brown let it be known that though no one was in danger of dying, living wouldn’t be pleasant for the next couple of weeks until the corn starch worked it’s way through their systems. On the good side, they might drop a few more pounds and it did seem to take the edge off of Mint Magnet’s halitosis.
Grace and I both know that it’s just a matter of time before Pearl gets over feeling sorry for herself and has another flash of business brilliance.
“Hi Grace. Pearl the dog and I are back. Where is Pearl?”
Grace: Come over to my apartment, Ellie/Essie. Pearl’s not here. She had another flash of brilliance. A real biggie this time. She said her new business would be a perfect fit for the Busy Nest.
EE: Jeez… I knew she would be back in the game of trying to succeed in the business world, but I thought we’d have a few days of rest first. Listen…here she comes. Isn’t that “Old McDonald had a farm” she’s singing?”
Pearl: “ee eye ee eye oh”
EE: Please don’t tell us you bought a farm, Pearl. Please!!!
Pearl: Oh heaven’s no, Essie. I’m a business woman. I don’t do dirt. I am however, going to invest in some chickens for my chicken bingo business.
Grace: Oh Lord, I feel like I’m going to faint dead away. Ellie/Essie could you get me a glass of water, please?
Pearl: Grace…must you be so dramatic? This is an up and coming entertainment money maker. I read about it in a magazine at the beauty shop.
EE: I don’t think your brilliance is flashing right, Pearl. You ran off the Methodist Church basement cooks and now you’re going to compete with the Catholic Bingo fundraisers. You barely have any customers now. How do you play bingo with chickens. anyway?
Pearl: I haven’t read the whole article yet, but I bought a copy of the magazine at the store downstairs. We have no time to waste girls. The first matter at hand is to get Herman the handyman to make the bingo board while we figure out the details. We don’t even have to change the name. The Busy Nest is perfect for a bunch of chickens.
EE: Do the chickens feel any pain, Pearl?
Pearl: Heaven’s no. Essie. All they have to do is eat and do their business on a number of their choice. The lucky bingoee who purchased the winning number gets the chicken pot. We don’t even get a cut because that would be gambling. We make our money on T-shirts, souvenirs, and snacks.
Grace: I’ll order the T shirts…
“The Busy Nest…
Where chickens do their business“
EE: I’ll get the chance tickets printed up with all the numbers and call Herman and see how soon he can get started on the bingo board.
Pearl: I must go to Pierre and buy some new outfits. What do you suppose chicken bingo entrepreneurs wear?
The pictures above were taken one hour into the first night. The entrepreneur had no idea just how seriously bingo players took their bingo.
One and one half hours into the night!
“BINGO ON 22!! WHAT’S MY PRIZE?”
“WHO GETS THE MONEY WHEN CHICKEN LEGS DOES HER BUSINESS ON THE LINE?”
“NO WAY, GIRL. YOU GOT A NICE BOTTLE OF BUBBLE BATH. ALL I GOT WAS A DRIED UP FRUIT CAKE! ”
“WHERE IS THAT LA TI DA LADY THAT WAS WALKING AROUND. THIS IS ON HER!”
“I GOT A TORN CHANCE CARD. THAT’S GOT TO BE BAD LUCK.”
“HEY! THAT ONE LAYED AN EGG. IS THAT WORTH A DOUBLE POT?”
“THE METHODIST BASEMENT COOKS ARE RIGHT! THIS PLACE SMELLS BAD…REALLY BAD!
I’ll pass on this game, Mary. Going to mail your DVD’s within the next week..J
No hurry on the DVDs but thank you. The chicken game came from a discussion at a BBQ the other night at a friends house. Once a year their neighbors dump chicken poop on their huge field and it smells horrible until it rains. Chicken bingo is very popular in places like Austin, TX.
Really??? Don’t they have television? ;o)
Someday when you’re feeling really bored, you’ll have to watch the YouTube videos.