Those 70ish Girls

Investigative journalism aims to uncover the truth about a particular subject, person, or event. While investigative journalism is based on the basic principle underlying all journalism-verification and accurate presentation of facts-investigative reporters must often work with uncooperative or recalcitrant sources who do not wish to divulge information. This is an example of the outstanding in her pasture talents of the renouned and reverbed Baba Wawa.

Exwoosive Interview:

Baba:  Good evening. This is Blabber Walters, Uhhh, I mean I am Baba Wawa speaking to you from Happy Down in the Valley, California. Tonight we will be interviewing a dimpled baby, that is…a 14 month darling toddler who miraculously has the power of speech. I feel privileged and lucky to get the first interview ever with a talking 14 month old. He can say entire sentences not just a word or two. Almost speaks as eloquently as I do. This is very rare in the annals of infant development.   You are about to witness history. I am about to pocket a million $.
This one will go in the record books and into the Guinness Book also. Speaking of Guinness, I could use a stout cold ale about now. But no, darn, sorry…interview comes first.
[Walks over to baby in high chair.]

Baba: Hi, Baby Ev. How is your day going? Super happy to meet you. I am the famous Baba Wawa of national television fame. I will interview you which means I will ask you a lot of infantile questions, um, meaning infant appropriate questions geared just for you. Ready?

Baby Ev:  Wight. I have to get my baff den story time, den off to bed. Weddy, set …go.

Baba: I must say you’re speaking quite clearly for having just been around for a little more than a year. You even know your schedule! Tell me, how do you like living here with your parents?

Baby Ev:  I get stuck a wot. I am stuck wite now in this feeder seat thing. Where’s my snack? Hey! (Yelling.) You pwomised a snack. I know, I know! Use our inside voice.

Baba: So sawwee, I mean sorry!  Do you feel independent now that you have started walking and talking at just 14 months?

Baby Ev: Huh?… ooopps. Here Dey come whiff fud, mmmm. Wooks goooood.

Baba:  That looks delicious. Glad you got your snack. Your parents kind of zip in and out a lot. Do you feel they are supervising you enough? – ~aside- This kid sure gets distracted easily.~

Baby Ev:  (Crunch, slurp, smush- lip smacking sounds)  I wuv dem a wot, however, Dey kinda ignore me cept when they smell my diaper, and den day gets uhcited.
[Picture of Ev after taking care of some business ]

Baba:  I can relate, I mean understand that. On the other hand, were they amazed, as we all were, that you started talking at such an early age?

Baby Ev:  Hey, dis dawg is mine but where did dat kitty come fwom ?

( Parents come back into the room and take Ev out of his high chair. They put him on the floor and he walks around falling here and there.)

Baba: I think that’s MG’s cat! How did it get here? (Rushing to finish interview.)
Ummm. Well!  Looks like we had better wrap it up and let you get ready for beddie by!

Baby Ev:  I needs a dwink. Ohhh, here we go. The dawg left some Wawa here.
[Picture of Ev reaching into dog’s water bowl.]

Baba:  (Looking into camera smiling.). So dear fans and Fwends , I mean FRIENDS,
that ends another future Emmy Winning interview of darling little Ev. I see his parents are gathering him up now to get him ready for story time, bath and bed. Here’s hoping we can interview him again soon. Just not too soon. But that’s another story.  Good night and good luck.
[Picture of Ev with big smile and eyes closed holding a baby bottle.]

OUT TAKES