We had said previous to our trip to Mesa for the Gathering, that MG would help Lav with the technical parts of writing a blog. So Lav brought her iPad and during some free time at the hotel in Mesa, MG offered her help, her expertise and a lesson in using the site she used to write the blog. It started out simply.

When Lav had written some blog drafts then tried to post them in the past, things didn’t always go smoothly especially when Lav tried to add pictures or video. MG helped and made the drafts look more polished and slick in their final format. Even small videos done separately flowed smoothly into one connected video when viewed on the blog. Lav meant well, trying to assist Cuz MG who was an accomplished blogger with some 5 plus years of experience and millions of followers. Actually Lav was having a lot of fun writing about silly things and their South Dakota trip to the All School Reunion, and other subjects. So on the morning that MG helped Lav during their down time prior to the Gathering, everything was starting out with helpful attitudes. They were ready to improve Lav’s skills and knowledge, they thought. Lav needed help. Lav told MG, “I know I come off as a dummy, but I’m really smart. Techie stuff makes me transform in a bad way. It’s not easy for me.”

“You go here to WP and see this plus symbol on the top left? Go there then you can add photos from Media Library but first here at Images. Then Add New and Insert. Pick a photo size, see this little icon?” MG started.

Beads of perspiration broke out on Lav’s forehead almost immediately underneath her bangs. MG remained calm, cool, cucumber-like and super relaxed as she sat on the edge of her bed as she spoke. She showed Lav on the screen the tabs, the tools, the drop down whatever they were, tiny icons. MG proceeded slowly, patiently. She was the ideal tech teacher. She was a queen of bloggers. Lav was so happy. However, this sentence kept running across her vision: you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. But Lav liked dogs. She was ready to learn.

Lav’s armpits were getting sweaty but she listened and took notes, fast and furiously. MG continued pointing and explaining, “Go here to images and your pictures will appear…hmm, why are we seeing those? Oh, yeah, here they are, see?” MG showed Lav the screen.

“Now let me see your phone.” Lav’s hand wobbled a bit as she handed MG her phone. “Where’s your WP App?” Lav thought, “what app.”

Lav replied, “I don’t know. I always just go to my favorites and click on WP then click on that draft writing deal and start typing a blog idea.”

“Well, don’t you have the App? I think you need the app.”

Lav paused, “I’m gonna do an Aunt Elna. I gotta lie down.” She started to twitch but stretched out on her bed.

“Okay, just pick your photo size and the Add, Insert. There’s another plus symbol on this side. Next you can go to Publish and next to that video upload or dot, dot, dot to remove it. Post settings, set feature image which has to be in Draft- WP library. Then you can share your post on Facebook POST. Got it?”

Lav let out a short moaning sound. “I get kinda confused and mixed up even when Ken helps me with technology and he is good at it, like you”

“You seem a bit anxious and agitated. Now let’s get the App put on your phone. Oops, I can’t get in; you have Face ID.” She handed Lav her cellphone. Lav got it opened up and MG added info and asked Lav how she adds Apps. Lav couldn’t think straight but googled the WP app and MG got it added, like magic. “Now see if you can get into the app. There it is! See that symbol? You have it. Using the App will be easier and we can coordinate our two devices better.”

It all looked good. Lav saw the app with the bright green squiggle sign on her screen, She had the app now. This would be great. The lesson was about over. She had her cryptic notes and she wasn’t feeling as nervous. Things were looking brighter. There was light at the end of the lesson.

“Hey, let’s go get a drink and snacks before we get ready for the Gathering,” MG said. “Next I’ll show you how I want to enter the Gathering and you take a video of me.”

Lav knew how to take videos. She could handle that. This day was really tech filled. How had we ever lived without cell phones, computers, iPads, laptops, and all this technology? Answer: simply, much more simply.

We went to the “Gathering” in Mesa. A gathering is like a reunion only different. I was trying to explain it to my husband, Kip, on the way home from the airport, but I gave up after this conversation…

Kip: So how many people attended?

Me: Probably around 50.

Kip: Wow! Who all came?

Me: Almost everyone who came retired in Mesa. You’ve never met these people.

Kip: I didn’t know that many of your relatives were still alive and wintered in Arizona.

………….

My cousin Valerie Halla, my brother, Billy Francis, and our patriarch, Gus, and I all traveled to Mesa. Val flew from San Jose, CA, I flew from Dallas, and Bill, (who lives in LA), drove to Ontario, CA, to get Gus, and then drove on to Phoenix and picked Val and me up at the airport.

“The Gathering” is a very important event. Val…will you explain how it evolved from the  Jones County Picnic?

The Gathering Pt. 1

By Val Halla

You’re so right, Cuz. A Reunion is different from a gathering and an After Party is another story. Actually Kip is on the right track…sorta kinda… because many of our relatives have passed away plus friends.  That makes it even more special because even though our friends and family are gone, the Gathering still goes on.

My husband stayed home to work and care for our dog. His friend at work asked where I was and Ken said, “Valerie is at a Jones County Reunion in Arizona.”

“Wasn’t she just at a Jones County Reunion last summer?”

Ken said, “This is different but I am not sure how.”

I’m not really sure either. But it’s different. The one last summer was an All School Reunion. So how it evolved from the Jones County Picnic was I think because Bob Bowers started it and he lived in CA. I remember attending one in Long Beach. The snowbirds who left chilly South Dakota flocked together in CA and eventually found Mesa, AZ a better fit than over priced CA. Birds of a feather flock together so they formed a strong bond and kept the Picnic/Gathering going.  (It’s no longer called a Picnic because we are too old to sit on a blanket on the ground with the ants.)

Mary and I prepared for weeks before going to the Gathering. We were excited and it’s always fun being with Bill and Gus. Mary and I coordinated what we would wear and what accessories we would need. We also discussed makeup, paying close attention to our lipstick color. We had to have our hair done a certain way. We made a trip to Walmart (surprise) to buy a new curling iron and cheesecake to take to the gathering. Mary even took two showers and washed her hair twice. She wore spectacular earrings and a necklace with a crown charm. I wore the same thing I’d worn three years ago adding a different necklace and dangling crystal earrings this time. The boots were a major decision but we both wore them with long flowing skirts and black tops. She added a jeans jacket and I wore my old rust colored suede jacket.  After a few hours, we were ready even though still a bit unsure how we looked. Bill called to see if we were all set to go.

“When will you two gals be ready to go?”

Mary: “We need about five more minutes to do our makeup “

Bill: “That should take at least 20 more minutes.”

CONCLUSION TO PT 1:  Aunt Loretta’s wisdom…”It’s good enough for who it’s for.” That gave us the confidence to go. We looked good. We felt even better. We were ready. Mary drove the four of us to the clubhouse for the Gathering. That is, she drove us AFTER she found the right car. We only had to backtrack once because we forgot the Walmart cheesecake, which was a big hit.

This is Mary (MG) again. I see it taking several blogs to cover the Gathering. We still have dozens of other people’s stories to tell. Hopefully, we won’t have to change our outfits again.

My Name is Not Mud

by Valerie Halla

I often joke around that I got married just to get a cool new name. Val Halla is a great name, just ask a Viking, if you can dig up one.

A lot of people think that there’s not much in a name, but I disagree. If you’re a parent, you might have agonized over choosing a perfect name for your brand new baby. It’s sometimes easy to just choose a family name, or choose a celebrity name, or give the kiddos your own and your spouse’s names. Choosing a name for a tiny baby, which he/she will carry for a lifetime, is an immensely important decision. It’s a big responsibility

Teachimg school for 34 years, I became interested in names. I once had four Michael’s in my third grade class. That was a challenge to call correctly for Michael B. or Michael C. Kids become quite upset if you call them by the wrong name. They seem downright offended. As a teacher, a seating chart was invaluable. I have had a Beyoncé, an Itsy, a Golden, a Harvest, Sky, Violet, and a Tyler and a Taylor.

Today I tested a kindergartener named Tiger. He was polite, sweet and didn’t growl.

And our US Presidents have also had unique names. I loved the name Ulysses Simpson Grant and years ago named a dog Ulysses. Good old U. S. Grant.

A President named Dwight David Eisenhower who was already famous as a WWII General. His mother didn’t want a son whose name could be changed to a nickname, so she chose Dwight. I have often wondered who started calling him Ike. I like Ike.

I could go on about names and even started a bit on middle names, with Dwight David and Ulysses Simpson. I am proud of my middle name chosen by my Mom with a shorter version from her sister’s middle name Jeanette. My middle name is Jean. My Grandma wrote many letters to us over the years and referred to me as V.J. in each letter. I liked that. Names are important. Names are a strong part of us.

Moving On Down the Road

by Baba Wawa

Now that I am in my 60’s plus a few years, and semi-retired, I think back but also forward to all the famous people I have interviewed and will. The most famous networks and newspapers have covered my stories. I have been featured in the La La Land Times, the New Yolk Times, the Washington Poopsy, and the Wall Street Urinal. I have graciously interviewed Kim Carcrashing, Merrilee Sweep, Brad Pitstop and Bom Trady among others. And who can forget the cooking series where I made peanut butter with butter crackers, prepped the frozen turkey for Thanksgiving and made an omelette with condiments atop it all? I bet Yram cannot forget. Or maybe she’s trying.

Days here in Happy Down in the Valley are peaceful, quiet and slow. Some interesting news: FLASH – I heard about Yram’s friends having a hectic time of it lately. Klip and May recently sold their house and moved into what’s called an RV which is kinda like a trailer on wheels. They moved because they didn’t remember to put out their garbage and recycling cans. Their trash piled up and the sanitation department passed them by. It rained a lot where they lived and their names were mud, literally. The pizza boxes, frozen turkey burger wrapping, empty cans, pie tins, and ice cream containers piled up. Did I say empty cans? They became frantic and rented a Uhaul to store and carry all their stuff, but I am suspicious. I think their trash is in the Uhaul. They could be hiding a lot of junk in there. Why are they pulling up stakes and driving on down the road to a Turkey RV Park? Plus, their RV (which stands for “rent a vacation”) hasn’t got those comfy captains leather plush chairs. No, they use lawn chairs and kitchen chairs and rocking chairs while driving, but at least they buckle up. It seems they are leaving town in a big hurry. Are they crazy? Can their situation get any better or worse?

Actually, Klip and May do have a great idea living in their RV and the dogs love it. They don’t have any more yard work, nor as much maintenance and the housework is minimal. They can pick up and leave whenever they get that wanderlust feeling, not to mention mooching…uh…visiting the relatives and old friends. I know Klip will find the best diners where they can eat biscuits and gravy, hash browns, eggs fit for a king, and bear claws and pastries galore. Did I mention pastries? Their bills will diminish for sure because living in an RV is much cheaper. It’s like being on a perpetual vacation. Can you imagine not having any utility bills? Even though the gas will be expensive, they can just stay a few months in one park until their nearby dumpster gets full, then move their home on wheels. However, the best part is that the garbage collector won’t miss them and they won’t miss him! What a life.

Maybe RV stands for Rich and Valuable. I will keep you posted. Baba signing off from my mini and very small mansion here in Happy Down in the Valley.

By Valerie Halla and Ninny

Through the miraculous, magical advances in technology and ESP I am able to tell you about my recent trip with my parents to the Pacific Northwest. It was challenging for me as a dog, but I somehow managed a week of driving, visiting relatives, lots of time in the car, (I was in the backseat of the car), and staying in strange hotels. We visited my other Mom, her husband and their human kid, and my stepsister dog. The relatives have a nice house. I hung out on blankets on their couch most of the time.

https://videopress.com/v/wBpAcebn?resizeToParent=true&cover=true&preloadContent=metadata&useAverageColor=true

They pretty much ignored me because this mini-human kid got most all the attention. He’s short, walks with a weird jerky step, talks gibberish, whines, cries and eats the dog’s food sometimes. I avoided the little human and also stayed away from my giant stepsister dog Tulu. She got the idea to leave me alone when I snarled and showed her my remaining 12 teeth. I have to admit that I can be pretty fierce even at 77 years of age.

We traded the bomb cyclones, atmospheric rivers, rainstorms and flooding during an entire month in California, for the Pacific Northwest with its almost daily rain which they call “drizzle,” winds, clouds, fog and cold. What a change. We were there about a week but it’s all a blur to me. I got lots of walks and slept pretty well as you can see.

The humans went to a museum, out for dinner and ordered food delivered or cooked a bit. I got fed the same good food they always give me later at night after we were alone in our room. The mini-human got fed regularly, almost constantly and they even cut up his food into tiny pieces for him. Turns out he doesn’t have many teeth either. They kept saying, “He’s teething.” I didn’t see him teething on much, just soft food although he crunched on poor Tulu’s kibble which seemed to upset his parents. My parents Ohhhed and Awwwed a lot over the little kid, even though I couldn’t see him doing many tricks. He couldn’t even walk very smoothly or retrieve any sticks or balls. He fell a lot. Not graceful like Tulu and me. He didn’t ask politely to go outside to do his “business” and wore something called a diaper. It was disgusting to think about. The kid was treated like some kind of royal Corgi.

After what seemed like days driving, we finally got home to California last night. Roads were flooded so we came into our neighborhood using some backroads and we’re relieved to be back to California which is once again sunny and warm. I have been out in my own backyard many times since we got home smelling my favorite trees and bushes and marking my territory with the way dogs do. Sorry. I’m too well trained and polite to explain that to you.

HIS ROYAL HIGHNESS

Advice from Lav by Lav

I have excellent advice for you. Maybe you are skeptical. Maybe you have gotten advice all your life, both good and bad. It might’ve been bad advice, and not worked out for you, but this is coming from me- Lav. I also have a strong cohort who has backed up this bit of information. We came up with it and it’s too good to ignore. I cannot divulge this person’s name. I am sworn to semi-secrecy. Give it a try.

It has to do with arguments or argumentative people. Know any of those? Maybe you have never been in an argument. You have never argued with your spouse or significant other. Yeah, right, when pigs oink, I mean fly.

I have at least one disagreement per hour, uh… per day with my husband. Neither of us wins. So HERE IT IS: when I say, “By George, you might be right!” he stops and looks shocked. Maybe it’s because his name isn’t George or maybe something just happened. He could be right and there’s nothing to disagree with! Why continue to argue? My husband can’t believe it. He always thinks he’s right. (When all along, I am most likely right.) It stops and I can go on with my exciting life. I get on with my web smurfing and binge watching hobby.

If you’re disagreeing with your friend about that boyfriend in high school who liked me not you, just stop, pause, lower your voice and say, “Hey, I think you’re right. He didn’t really ever take me to the Frosty for a burger or rhubarb shake.” Your friend will feel better and might try to carry on your fighting and feel the need to continue, so just repeat it. “Maybe you’re right.” Well, it has been a long time since you were in high school. Probably about a century. Memories might be a bit shaky. Then smile and do not get sucked back into the game. A hug might even help. Just do not ever tell your friend you not only had a cheeseburger and rhubarb shake with her boyfriend but you had fries. That’s big. Shhh.

I sure wish I had tried this trick sooner. Being right most of the time has been an affliction. I’m a smart, intelligent, brainy, highbrow, witty person. However, there comes a point when others don’t want to acknowledge what a genuine gall darn genius I am. Therefore, I have learned after decades maybe years, to use this trick making people think they’re right. Or thinking they might be right.

So many important questions could’ve been fixed. Would this have worked when the ancient scientific question came up: is the Earth flat or round? Does Kim Carcrashing touch up her TikTok photos? Is there a weird message at the end of the Beatles album when played back? Does Polly Darton wear gloves? Who voiced Mickey Mouse in cartoons and should Donald Duck wear pants? These are all huge things. Whatever your opinion, if you feel strongly enough, and find yourself in an argument; just stop and try that ingenious approach, tricky though it might seem, maybe you’re right but tell your argumentative opponent- “Okay, you might be right”

You’re welcome.

BTW: please don’t contact Lav regarding any results from her advice. She might be a smarty pants but she holds no counseling credentials, medical license nor training in anything…really.

This just in… Donald Duck, “I have never worn pants, and I’m not going to start now.”
You’re absolutely right, DD.

Mickey Mouse, “ No one dubs my voice ever. It’s all me including my voice.” Okay, you might be right.

by Valerie Halla

HAIR

Down to here -Down to there -Down to there?
Down to where?
It stops by itself -Don’t never have to cut it ‘Cause it stops by itself.

I was talking today with my cousin and we mentioned relatives and their hair. Her mother had her course thick hair dyed and permed for many years, but one time she told her hair stylist to color some strands differently. She said that the hair on your scalp isn’t all the same tone. Some hairs are lighter and vary in shades, so she told the gal to change the color up. Don’t color it all black. Whatever the outcome to that hair color session, I am glad I wasn’t there. My mother’s hair got gray while she was still young but one strip of hair in front stayed dark brown for a long time and she looked kind of like a skunk with stripes. Later she had it a lovely silver gray and done in a stylish bouffant that complemented her slim pretty face and hazel eyes.

After my father passed away and we attended my father’s memorial service at Cypress Lawn, we had friends, neighbors and family members over to my parent’s house. My mother and I had bought lots of food and put it out buffet style. Mom hadn’t had time to go to her beauty parlor to get her hair done. As my mom greeted people and kept the food coming, her sister, Loretta, came quietly up next to her with a small thin brush and gently brushed my mom’s hair, patting it in certain places, and tenderly trying to smooth it. She didn’t say a word, but the love was apparent.My mom kept right on talking. I’m sure that gesture helped settle my mom’s nerves since she was still in shock and sadness after losing her husband of 57 years.

Getting your hair done, is quite relaxing and I often get sleepy just sitting in the salon chair, having someone fix my hair. I go away feeling 100% better. I can’t ever replicate the way the stylist fixes my hair, but I love the feeling of someone else pampering me. I think women are obsessed with having nice hair. In the 1960’s, I wore my hair long and straight, even ironing it. My friends and I tried to copy Cher or surfer girl styles. Big hair was popular and hair was big. My friend got me to attend the Aquarius Theater LA performance of the musical “Hair” with my boyfriend, later husband, in the late 1960’s. My friend had seen about 20 performances and knew every line and lyric of the loose plot. The show reflected the times: the draft, the Vietnam War, protests, free love, free speech, hippies, rebellion, flower power, and of course lots of hair. Then there was the nude scene at the end, which in the ‘60’s was quite risqué. I wasn’t sure that I had even seen anyone nude at the end with the lighting turned down low, and a jumble of cast members all posed like statues. Still we felt like this was groundbreaking theater and the songs were good: Aquarius, Good Morning Starshine, I Believe in Love.

My cousin once said she used to color her hair gray, but now she has it a pretty dark brown, cut short. I went with longer hair and blonde streaks. I didn’t want to see how I’d look with the gray. Getting older, we also deal with thinning hair.A thick head of hair is associated with the young. Some politicians and celebrities get expensive scalp surgery to add to their thinning hair, making them maybe feel younger, however, the rest of their body knows. It all goes to show how important we hold our hair. My friends won’t even meet up for coffee or lunch on their “sacred” hair salon appointment days. I wonder when my next appointment is. Can’t wait.

Gimme a head with hair, Long beautiful hair, Shining, gleaming, Streaming, flaxen, waxen,

Hair ( hair hair hair hair hair)- Grow it, Show it, Long as I can grow it, My hair.