When You’re Right, You’re Wrong by Val Halla

I’m always trying to have fun!

It was a bright sunny day and I was flying down the road, in a car, not a jet, feeling like a million bucks with five bucks in my wallet. I was enjoying my new shiny car which had more features than a computer. I was still discovering what this car could do. It had computer chips and sensors in there, too, somewhere, with free parking, snacks and access to the staff lounge included.

The right songs were playing on the radio, uh… on Spotify I mean. I was singing the wrong words to the right songs plus thought I was a regular Linda Ronstadt. More like Kermit the Frog when he sings. I was feeling good and groovy. And every little thing was so right, that’s exactly what I thought. Just when you think you’re doing well and on top of the world, at least on top of your game, the game of life, then yup- things turn on you. Kind of as the world turns you’re drawn along in circles. It’s a merry go round but it ain’t fun. You think you have control, but oh how wrong you are.

You know that feeling when you have a dreamy sunny bright day, your bills are paid, you think you look good, all is going well, you can dance all day long and you’re cool, high school cool, thinking you’re better than everybody else, but you’re not. You’re barely mediocre. If you were an apple, you’d be bruised, dull and overlooked. That was me only I didn’t know what was ahead.

Gotta buy the snacks.

So I went to Costco for a few items, why not, thinking that would raise my spirits even more, and I came out 3 hours later with $349.55 worth of heaven knows what, but I thought I needed it all. I mean who could resist a six pack of bubbly water in ten different flavors? Or laundry detergent in a two gallon pack with 500 washes? So you might die before the 500th laundry wash, that’s irrelevant. So you can’t lift the bottles- so what. Sling it into the cart. I also got a hot dog and a drink for $1.50 plus they do not accept tips. I asked. The Costco worker said he could meet me in the parking lot a bit later if I really wanted to tip him. This was a real steal. I was flying high on bargains. That hot dog saved me some dough. I had practiced quantity over quality purchases! Costco gave me a high. I was a sucker sucked in big time like a high powered Dyson vacuum cleaner. Maybe they should name Costco “Lost, Yo!”

I had parked my new car there with the 50 million other cars all jammed together in tight parking spaces with no room for an overloaded shopping cart. I didn’t care. I was willing to risk everything for the great feeling of overdoing it and over buying stuff that I didn’t need but thought I did. It took me about as long to load all that $349.55 in purchases as it had taken for my whole shopping experience. If I couldn’t fit this stuff into my new car, where did I think I’d put it in my house? I was really flying high. Who cares?

How could this get any better!?!

I drove home with things piled up to the ceiling and onto the floor and on all the other passenger seats. I even balanced stuff on the dashboard. I had enough paper products to last til 2045 and enough food to last until next week. The dog would love the treats I’d bought her, 500 to a box. She only weighed 9lbs but I had 20 lbs of doggie treats. They were green, like the color of cash. I used my credit card at Costco.

When I got home, I decided to load up the wheelbarrow and just push it right up the front porch steps and on into the house to unpack all my things. After two loads I decided to rest. Then I saw it. As I came outside to get more of my bargains, I noticed a long scratch on the drivers side front fender. Could it be? Maybe I was looking at it wrong. Maybe it was a highlight like the sun hitting a curve in the shiny new exterior. My heart sank or maybe it was my ego. Or my bank account. Something sank.

The car was 5 days old and it needed to be fixed. I paid about a million bucks for auto insurance so why not pay the $500 deductible. My Costco trip cost me $849.55 in reality, real life, a knock on the head real life stuff, when you added it all together.

To make a long story even longer, I called my insurance agent and filed a claim. I dropped off my car after getting an estimate and took it in the next week after they ordered bumper and sensors and a gold plated fender, to be left for the week. I took a $40 Uber home. I had kept my old car so I had something to drive. Phew.

When I picked up my car from the body shop a week later, it looked gorgeous – brand new 2025 beautiful. That’s good because it is a 2025 model. I had to take another $40 Uber to pick it up because I was too embarrassed to tell any neighbors who would have driven me there.

Not bad for a Costco trip of $929.55. So glad I went that sunny day and saved so much money. When you’re right, you’re right.

She’s got to be kidding! What a joke.

Ants in the Kitchen by Valerie Halla

My husband and I in South Dakota on our first honeymoon. Young love is grand.

I have been duking it out with teeny ants streaming into my kitchen. They are everywhere there’s food. Either they find big plates of dirty dishes, loaves of bread, cubes of butter, dog treats, fruit or even the tiniest drop of food left out on the counters or floors, microscopic amounts, specks of a meal or minute pieces visible with the naked eye or closed eye or eye of the dog, any eye, but ants find it. I found ants in the bottom of my tea cup and in a pathway to the dog’s dish and along a winding trail to the trash. I’m fuming about ants but they’re there for a true reason: to have reality facing me gut level, true and real and like one of life’s challenges to gnaw at me and shake me up. It’s all good. I am actually welcoming these irritating insects into my home, arriving at the picnic blanket of my life.

So things have been tough lately. My husband of 53 years passed away last week and it was a balance of loss and relief. He’s not suffering any longer. He’s at peace as am I. He fought cancer and infections and pneumonia for about two years. A strange peace came over me and realization that this is right. I’m trusting the path we’re on. I don’t have to understand it. I’m still numb and raw but I’m getting through this with the help of my wonderful three adult children and family and friends. That’s meant so much to me.

A death of someone you’ve known, loved and lived with for 53 years is incredible. I’m still reliving memories which pop into my mind at the oddest times. I was at the grocery store recently with my sons and I picked up avocados but had no bag. As I wrestled with 5 avocados a lady in the produce section handed me a bag so I put them into the plastic bag thanking her, then I started to cry. She moved toward me as I quickly said my husband had just passed away. She didn’t hesitate; this complete stranger reached out and hugged me saying how sorry she was. That was a moment which touched me, quite lovely.

I’m also having this movie of all the good times and bad playing on my movie screen brain, some things I haven’t recalled in decades, recalling our two honeymoons, times we walked the dog or camped with the kids or rode bikes together or discussed books we had read or fought with one another. It’s a wonderful life, to copy a movie title. It is similar to a movie or television show whatever comes into my head, weird yet fun.

However, then I’m drawn back to true life by these irritating ants. I cannot put off their takeover of the kitchen. I have to fight back. Even worse, they give off an awful odor when they’re smashed. Another reminder of their power. I must deal with them.

You little devils haven’t got the best of me yet!

So I say, “Thank you, ants. Thanks for bringing me down to earth. Reality can be sobering and good.“

I’m right where I need to be and I’m strong enough, rough enough and ready for the ants. I’m moving on with or without you.

Thanks for everything- both the good and the bad.