Tuesday morning finds the little town of Murdo surprisingly serene. The pace is usually fast in the summertime, due to all of the tourists seeking accommodations as they make their way to the beautiful Black Hills. Add to that, the excitment of July 4th and a quiet Monday evening had not been an option.
The fireworks display out at the baseball field was spectacular as usual. The whole place was a sea of red white and blue. All the families brought picnics and their children went home full of fried chicken, potato salad , corn on the cob, and watermelon. A fun time was had by all.
The Murdo Girl for Next Pres Headquarters, 9:00 a.m.
The ever growing team is busy preparing for the meeting that will begin as soon as Murdo Girl arrives. Here’s an update of the positions that have been filled and the respective person’s duties.
THESE THREE SEASONED STAFF MEMEBERS HAVE BEEN WITH THE CAMPAIGN SINCE THE BEGINNING, which was last week sometime.
Eirelav Yekcel, Publicity stunt Cooridantor, Jerry Elrod, Bean and bingo counter, and Sherri Miller, Photographic Drawer
THEN THERE’S THE TWO NEW STAFF MEMBERS AND ONE WHO IS ON HER WAY OUT
Teresa Palmer, Newspaper Liaison…Sheila Hurst,( It’s a secret), and on her way out, the lovely Yram Sicnarf, who is a crack up reporter from Gun Barrel City, Texas
THE LAST AND MOST IMPORTANT PERSON YOU’LL SEE TODAY
THE ONE AND ONLY AND NEXT PRES.
Murdo Girl saunters over to her place at the head of the pretty crowded table, and motions her three flunkies to find a seat wherever they can. Then… she speaks.
Murdo Girl: Thank you all for being here so promptly. I myself have been for a vigorous early morning swim at the North Dam. To allay any rumors or as my severely lacking opponent would say, nip them in the bud, I want to say, “no worries.” You see, my trusty bodyguards are my son, my son-in-law, and some other guy that lost his sun glasses and can’t close his eyes. Their names are Bart, Smart, and Braveheart.
Now on to more important matters. Since we have 2 new members of our team, and one on the way out, why don’t we go around the table and make introductions. Please state your name, your position, and explain your duties. (at which point Braveheart gets up and proceeds to go around the table.) Braveheart sit down and try not to make eye contact with anyone. It’s very annoying. Who would like to start?
Well Yram, I guess that means you. at least people won’t be hearing those blasted bugs everywhere you go.
Yram: Morning staff and bodyguards. I’m the crack up reporter from Gun Barrel, TX . I just don’t feel like I fit in here anymore with your platform being the way it is. I prefer spike heels, I drink Pepsi instead of ice water, and that neon paint you used to scrawl your name on the water tower is downright distracting. Therefore….I’m here to tell you..I’m defecting to Barney Fife’s Lone Wolf campaign. I have a whole lot of fun riding around with Thelma Lou and Louise, and Barney won’t make me go to the High School all the time and take guff off those snooty teachers… I might be convinced to change my mind. Are those bodyguards going to be allowed to hang out with the staff some? I think dry eyes over there is kind of cute.
Murdo Girl: Have a nice life Yram
Lav: Pick me! pick me! I’m next. I’m Lav, and I’m the Publicity Stunt Coordinator. Have I got a sweet deal for you? I went over and talked to Jeff at Sanderson’s store, and he said he would give us case after case of over-ripe lemons to put in our free ice water. That should attract all kinds of voters huh Murdo Girl? We can take the campaign Jeep and cart the lemons around back by the hose. We’ll even be close to the water tower and folks can look up at the beautiful glow- in- the-dark letters spelling “MURDO GIRL TOWER,” and suck lemons and drink free water to their hearts content,
Murdo Girl: Jerry, does that sound like a publicity stunt to you, or does it sound like the only thing she cares about is getting free stuff? She’s as bad as the Queen carrying around an empty purse. At least the purse gives the Queen something to do with her hands.
Jerry: Well, I’m the kind of guy that will count money til the til shuts on my fingers, but it ain’t my job to bring it in the door. I highly resent being asked to go through the trash at the fair grounds looking for cans to sell and loose change under the bleachers. I did find an unopened package of chips though, which I wouldn’t get any money for, so I enjoyed them myself. There was a little kid that tried to take them away from me, but you know how little kids are. At least he didn’t cry. I hate it when they cry.
1)He took my chips….2) You dropped your chips…3) Dropped them right into Jerry’s fingers that were clutched around the chips. I saw the whole thing. If he had something besides chips, I’d blackmail him.
Sheila: I’m Sheila, and I don’t want to be a secret anymore! This right here is a bunch of cow-tickey. Murdo Girl, do you really think you can be Next Pres with people gettin over-ripe lemons and stealing a little kids chips? Being an informant has been a lifelong dream of mine. Now, you better listen up or I’ll go right out on Main St. and thumb a ride with Thelma Lou and Louise, and that lame Sicnarf, who can’t even dribble a basketball.
At that moment, Murdo Girl sits up straight in her chair, takes her hat off and begins to look a little more Presidential.Teresa’s glasses start to sparkle. You can feel it in the room. A new day is dawning at Murdo Girl Coyote Headquarters. All because when an aggressive Draper girl talks, everybody listens.
Sherri: Can I just add to that brilliant oration? So far, all I have gotten to draw is a photograh of Barney Fife holding a bullet. It has been well known throughout the community that Barney lost his gun. Didn’t you about fall out when he told that whopper about George Washington? What in blazes are we doing photographic drawings of little kids and dogs for when we’ve got a real crime on our hands? Do you feel safe with the likes of Barney Fife protecting us?
No, Nada, nope, huhuh, YES, forget it
Murdo Girl: Teresa, get yourself right on over to the the Murdo Coyote and talk to Janie. We need to sneak a little bombshell in between all that discourse about the Finks.
The voters will sit up and take notice when they hear about Barney being without a gun. Sherri, you go with her and draw a picture! Now, where do you suppose we can find another crack up reporter? be on the lookout.
Will Barney share a cell with his soulmate? Will Otis hang his jail keys up for good? Will other Murdo residents complain about the neon lettering on the Murdo Girl Tower? Will Jerry get his hands on some honest money or will he take his chips and go home? It’s the dawn of a new day in the lives of the voters in Murdo, SD. You can feel the excitement in the air. Now where do you suppose Barney is?
*All photographs and drawings are without the express consent of family members and others.