It’s early Monday morning at the Murdo Girl Campground Compound. The only sound is Lav’s Corgi named Coyote barking…and a few crickets.
Murdo Girl is sitting in an outside lounge chair reading the Murdo Coyote Newspaper.
The Murdo Coyote
The Murdo Coyote Newspaper would like to say that we strive to fairly and accurately report information pertaining to the Donkeys, the Elephants, the Coyotes, and the Lone Wolf Parties. Murdo has never seen the likes of parties such as the ones following the Coyote Convention where confusion reigned.
Although Murdo Girl seems to be a local favorite, the convention was like none have ever seen. In all fairness, the Donkey’s and the Elephant’s televised blow-outs were pretty lame. The Coyote slogan “Don’t write Murdo Girl off, Write her in”, was the theme of the convention. Tammy Lindquist took the stage first where she blasted Murdo Girl for being a lousy babysitter. Later, her two older sisters countered her accusations and the whole thing ended up to be one big love fest.
The C and the CC of the CCC (Coyote County Convention chair and co-chair), dropped all the balloons early. I’m talking two days early, which kind of messed up the flow of things. I guess that’s why they decided to skip Friday night and go straight to the Grand Finale. Lav made a so so speech. She was followed by Murdo Girl who announced Lav was her VP pick. No one could really tell us why they burned the M and had a snake dance, but the Queen did serve up some tasty burgers.
Well all’s well that ends well. They left the plastic on the Jerald Applebee floor, so there was no damage visible to the naked eye. The Coach hasn’t inspected it yet, and it ain’t over till the Coach stands up.
The Crowd, the Coach..This may not end well. “A man’s got to do what a man’s got to do.” Right Coach?
The before article was given the stamp of approval by Treason, from the Coyote Camp. The after article consists of an interview by Yram Sicnarf. (It was falsely reported that Yram was the interviewee. The Aggressive Informant was misinformed)
Treason, Yram, and the Man on the Street
Yram: Hey there man on the street. I understand you were one of the delegates at the Coyote County Convention. Do you mind answering a few questions?
Man on the street: Well Howdy there Pilgram lady. Everyone in Murdo was a delegate. In fact, everyone in Murdo is a DD.
Yram: What exactly is a DD?
Man on the street: I reckon that would be a Double Delegate.
Yram: Well, Man on the Street, you have uncovered an interesting fact. Just who came up with an idea like that?
Man on the Street: Well, my gut tells me it was the law around here.
Yram: You mean Deputy Barney Fife?
Man on the Street: No mam, as you so rightly figured out, Barney is the Deputy. I’m Duke and I’m the Sheriff of these parts. I’m surprised that a bright yellow-haired young lady like you didn’t see the star on my hat. Ya see Pilgram Lady, there are 300 delegates in Murdo, if you don’t count the youngins. Each delegate gets 2 votes. Murdo Girl is sittin pretty with 300. Barney has to get the other 300 to stay in the race.
Yram: Wait a minute Duke…Do you mean if something happens, say a delegate gets sick or is gone on vacation, Barney could be out of the race?
Duke: Not exactly cause they can vote absenteeism. If they decide they don’t have the true grit and sit this one out, Barney could lose. You see Pilgrim Lady… There will be three parties in the November election..the Donkeys, the Elephants and either the Coyotes or the Lone Wolves.
Yram: I gotta run Sheriff Duke, but first, I’m curious about one thing. How come I’ve never seen you Sheriffing around Murdo?
Duke: I was making a cowboy movie in Arizona. I’ll be riding off into the sunset again right after The Lone Wolfe Convention. I’m a little scared to go off and leave this little town, but like I always say, Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway.
Back at the Coyote Campground Compound, The Queen just pulled up in her recreational coach, and Jerry showed up after selling used pencils. Lav had the idea to write the campaign slogan on some used pencils she helped herself to when school let out. They’re supposed to say “Don’t write Murdo Girl Off, Write her in, but some of them are too short so they just say Don’t write her in, which is unfortunate.
The Queen: I wonder if they have 50 amp electrical hook-ups here……Jerry: I’m selling those pencils 1 for a dime and two for a quarter.
I’m A I and that’s Otis..We’re playing around with the idea of auditioning for the new John Wayne movie. It’s called West of the Divide. I think it has something to do with where the time changes just West of here. We already have good hats.
“Fear is just one of the many words I don’t know the meaning of.”
― John Wayne