Murdo Girl…Let’s make a deal

In the last Brick House story, the team had eaten every bit of the food Pico had ordered for the Inaugurcorination. It was discovered that neither Lav nor Jerry had purloined the coffee bean bags from Sanderson’s Store; and Murdo Girl appeared to be almost recovered from the unfortunate injuries she sustained due to a couple of misplaced blows to the head by Lav and the Queen. All that being said, we have at least one unresolved cliffhanger. During the vetting process, AI and DM discovered the true identity of Murdo Girl’s speech therapist. What we don’t know is what her sinister intent was, so Yram is going to do one of her crack up reporter interviews.

Yram: Man oh man, do you ever look rough?  For the record, would you please state your full name, address and telephone number? I will also have to see your Driver’s license or photo drawn ID.

Person: My full name is Barnella Iris Fife. My new address is Murdo, SD. I do not currently have a phone, DL or photo drawn ID.

Yram: Hmm..I see. are really hard to look at!! How have you been transported to and from the Brick House? If you have no phone, how have you been calling, texting, and playing games?

Person whom we now know is Barnella: I just live kitty corner from here. It’s where Superintendent Haugland lived. I believe Syd Iwan also lived there at one time. I love the neighborhood, and of course it has the added advantage of being so close to my work. I lost my cell phone, and I can’t live much longer without it. I’m planning to go after work today and get another one. That is, if I can catch a ride.


Yram: Hmm…I see.. If you’re going to try to catch a ride, you better put a scarf over your face… Who is your next of kin, Miss Barnella Iris Fife!?

Barnella starts to squirm in her chair. She is visibly shaken. She pulls a tissue out of her purse and starts to dab her eyes and blow her nose (sniff). Oh geez..another sniffer. I hope she doesn’t tug on her girdle like our current deputy tugs on his pants.

Barnella: I’m sorry.(sniff)..I’m Deputy Barney Fife’s sinister, spinster twin sister, only I’m not sinister anymore (sniff). My doctor told me to stay off caffeine, and it has really helped my sinisterness. It has changed my poor sad life.

YRAM: Okay sinster, I mean.. Okay sister..let’s cut to the chase. Are you a real speech therapist, and how did you happen to get this job at the Brick House? No disrespect, but it wasn’t because of your looks. Yeouzer!!

Barnella: Well, I don’t have any formal training, but I’ve seen My Fair Lady 5 times, and Sybil 4 times. I guess you could say, I have several hours up my sleeve. I applied for the job first and last. I was the only applicant who had any experience with Rhyming Rehab. Have you seen My Fair Lady? Great movie!

Yram: Yes..I’m familiar with , “The rain in Spain.” Well Barnella, Murdo Girl no longer needs a speech therapist. How well can you cook? With that mug, you really need to be behind the scenes and might try a little more makeup. Shades of pink might help.

Barnella: Oh Miss Sicnarf, I’ve watched the Food Network ever since it came on. I like Paula Dean too and her cookware line is divine. If I could just be given a chance. You see, I have lived in the shadows of my bigshot brother all of my life. He even has a gun and a bullet. I voted for him for president, but only because he threatened to stop payment on the check he used to buy our parents a much-needed new Septic tank. I think he was just having a bit of buyer’s remorse.

Yram: I can feel your pain Barnella. That face doesn’t look too good on a boy, let alone a girl. The job is yours Barnella. Now, put that scarf over your face and I’ll see if Mr. Applefloor will take you to get your DL and a cell phone.

Do you believe Barney’s sinister spinster twin sister is no longer sinister? Yram hired her to cook. What’s up with that? Anyway, the Barnella dilemma is resolved. She’s going to be on board to help warm up the steaks provided by Murdo’s Restaurant by the River on the Nebraska side, but really close to Yankton, on the South Dakota side. We offered him full price if he would give us a 100% discount. Instead, he tripled the price and gave us a 50% discount on 100% of 25%. He said it real fast, but I think we made a pretty sweet deal. He said not to tell anyone, because he hardly ever makes that kind of deal. Even with his very best customers.

Happy Birthday Murdo
Pico made the deal..Lav is signing with Murdo.


Murdo Girl: Okay TC we need you to grab a megaphone and tell this town the dance is tomorrow night. It’s been kind of busy around here, so we might just hold off on the coronation part where I officially become Next Pres. We can do that next week. Do you know if the Queen got all the crepe paper to decorate, and the tinfoil to spiff up my crown and make my dress?


Tinfoil? Crepe paper? I’m wearing the drapes from the Rose Garden Room. 

Probably should put that broach a little higher Queen. It’s tinfoil right? A few rubies in the crown would add some color. Cute little kid. Is he from here?

Stay Tuned Murdo…It will be fun times in the old town!!


33 thoughts on “Murdo Girl…Let’s make a deal

  1. countrygirl57 September 4, 2016 / 10:02 pm


    Sent from my iPhone



  2. scoper07 September 4, 2016 / 8:53 pm

    I will personally take one bite out of each piece of meat to guarantee its untaintedness.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. sanjuan831 September 4, 2016 / 8:31 pm

    Haven’t seen them coming downtown and I’ve kept an eye on the scene out the windows above Sanderson’s.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. sanjuan831 September 4, 2016 / 8:03 pm

    We are just enjoying your great story but also happy versions in our mind’s eye! Plus we love parties and dancing and food.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Mary Francis McNinch September 4, 2016 / 8:07 pm

      Did Bif and Applefloor get back yet? I need the car to pick up the Queen. She thought the dance was tonight.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Mari Jackson September 4, 2016 / 7:45 pm

    Ah, all’s well that ends well for today! Lav and I can still have our mocha, Ms. Fife is harmless, we have the best guy in charge of the food giving us his birthday discount! The masquerade party sounds great because then I don’t have to worry about hair and make-up, just crown and dress! Woooo! Great choices everyone!

    Liked by 2 people

      • sanjuan831 September 4, 2016 / 8:09 pm

        That’s what is so beautiful about your writing!! It gets us feeling giddy and full of hope and fun and playful. Kinda like puppies.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. sanjuan831 September 4, 2016 / 7:43 pm

    Yup! I’m with you!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. sanjuan831 September 4, 2016 / 7:20 pm

    No mocha withdrawal symptoms yet! Trying tea. Sorry I couldn’t save the tumbleweed…ended up on the compost heap. Not worth saving even for salads. Murdo looked happy with the deal he signed. Didn’t overlook a thing!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Mary Francis McNinch September 4, 2016 / 7:40 pm

      He ripped us off big time if you look at the numbers. But we don’t look at numbers, just beans. Hahaha

      Liked by 1 person

      • scoper07 September 4, 2016 / 7:50 pm

        OMG. He out foxed the Coyotes?


      • scoper07 September 4, 2016 / 8:06 pm

        I’d better sick A I on him to do some investigating and I better do a little vetting. Who knows where those steaks have been? We have to protect our Next Pres and our Queen. The rest of us are replaceable and expendable.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Mary Francis McNinch September 4, 2016 / 8:11 pm

        Right. We’re already dealing with tainted cheese, we don’t need tainted beef. Now I’m worried.

        Liked by 1 person

    • scoper07 September 4, 2016 / 8:40 pm

      Tumbleweed, shmumbleweed. We’ll just have to get by without it won’t we?

      Liked by 1 person

  8. sanjuan831 September 4, 2016 / 6:47 pm

    Sure hope BIF knows how to make tuna noodle casserole and apple pie. Did she sign a contract to cook full time or just for the inaugural coronation? Let’s make it a masquerade dance then she can wear a mask.


    • Mary Francis McNinch September 4, 2016 / 6:55 pm

      A mask dance is a good idea. Bif will be operating the microwave. You know, to warm up the steaks. I heard Murdo’s wasn’t too happy with the beans.


      • scoper07 September 4, 2016 / 7:08 pm

        Don’t worry about Murdo. He is an brilliant businessman. If nothing else he can parlay the deal into a huge tax write off.

        Liked by 1 person

    • scoper07 September 4, 2016 / 7:05 pm

      Great point on the masquerade. You are on top of your game tonight Lav. Do you have moca withdrawals?


  9. Mari Jackson September 4, 2016 / 5:57 pm

    Ms Fife bears a strange resemblance to Mrs Mick Jagger, but who am I to talk?

    I’m glad we are well on our way to having the celebration of the inauguration!!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Mary Francis McNinch September 4, 2016 / 6:05 pm

      Yes Pico..Mick has a virtual road map on his face. Get your dress & crown picked best not leave your photographic picture to me!

      Liked by 2 people

  10. scoper07 September 4, 2016 / 5:55 pm

    Well BIF certainly fits into the fold. I knew Murdo before he became a restauranteer and he was quick with that higher math. Thank goodness he gave you his birthday discount!! He says the only thing he overlooks is the river. I guess he overlooked BIF’s countenance in this case.

    Extraordinary day in the life and times of Murdoites today Murdo Girl. Applefloor was an extremely funny touch. Thanks for making my day Murdo Girl.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Mary Francis McNinch September 4, 2016 / 6:02 pm

      I’m trying to decide between Barnella or Bif. Murdo might think he got the best end of the deal, but he didn’t say we couldn’t pay him with coffee beans..We have 20 bags..

      Liked by 1 person

      • scoper07 September 4, 2016 / 6:06 pm

        Maybe we could go down by the White River and collect some acorns and mix them in with the coffee beans for our payment. I never once told you I was the sharpest tool in the shed.

        Liked by 2 people

      • Mary Francis McNinch September 4, 2016 / 7:01 pm

        We didn’the try to cheat him. We need to get rid of all the coffee beans. They make Lav and Bif curaazy and sinister.


      • scoper07 September 4, 2016 / 7:11 pm

        Excellent point. I read your
        lips so mich last night I kind of lost my mind. We wouldn’t want to cheat a dear friend.


      • Mary Francis McNinch September 4, 2016 / 7:23 pm

        Yeah 07..We can’t help it if he can’t take a joke. If he’s as smart as you say, he should know the coffee bean conversion rate.


      • scoper07 September 4, 2016 / 7:37 pm

        Now that’s really funny Murdo Girl. Way to spin it.


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