The town of Murdo is buzzing about the upcoming Espressofest. Actually, they’re buzzed because of all the jitter juice they’ve been consuming. You see, the main attraction at the event will be the “Espresso Brew Off” at Haug Land. It’s our High School football field, and it’s named after our former Superintendent, Mr. Haugland. It’s pretty nice out there now. They filled in the 3 ft. deep cracks in the ground, planted some grass, and put up a second goal post. It’s a good thing. Before, both teams had to run West and it caused a lot of confusion and strife.
This is going to be the most fun ever, and that’s saying something for a Murdo Brick House event. We also needed a Brick House fundraiser. The tax money Lav and Treason earned at Sanderson’s Store is gone. Not only that, Lav and the gang got evicted from the rooms above the store. One of their poker games got busted while they were on Brick House arrest. They thought as long as they were in a house they were okay, but they were supposed to be at the Brick House. It’s a long story, but it seems another, more respectable family has moved in anyway, so there’s no going back.
One of the other main events will be the Crown Contest. Anyone can enter. You don’t even have to be royalty. The Queen has posted an “Order of Royalty” sign, which tells you just how royal you are, but that’s just FYI.
There are three judges including the Queen. They have been cautioned not to consider the value of the crown. We don’t want to know. The Brick House gets to keep all the crowns as part of their take..I mean donations. It’s all “not for profit,” because we don’t want to have any tax troubles, which could keep the money tied up for years. This was the advice of our new Lawyer Gentril. That’s an Attorney General who can’t pass the bar. Ours turns into the Buffalo every time he goes by, but at least we know where to find him.
Other events will be the coffee cake walk, and the bean eating contest. The latter was going to be followed by a chili cook off, but wiser heads prevailed. The amount of Beano and Tums we would have to buy to neutralize all the after effects, would put a big hole in the proceeds. If we didn’t provide the antacids, we fear there might be some big holes blown in “other things.” It’s one of those no win(d) situations.
Let’s head over to the Brick House to see how all the preparations are going.
DM: This was such a good idea! Does anyone know who came up with it? I think this is going to top the parade, the Inaugracorination, and all the other parties we’ve had. Who’s stupendous idea was this anyway? That person, whoever it is, must be brilliant! And it’s going to be at Haug Land! That’s my favorite place in the whole world. I love hanging out there.
Pico: Yes DM we know. We don’t have a clue who’s brainstorm it was, but it sure will be fun, fun, fun for everyone! It’s good to get away from the daily grind every once in a while.
Murdo Girl: The important thing is that we remain calm and look out for the safety of our team and the town. If you see someone who has consumed too much caffeine, please take them to the Brewster Buster stand. We don’t need another kidnapping or jail time. Where’s A I? I need her to fly a banner over the football field.
Treason, are you keeping track of the contestants for the Espresso Brew Off?
Treason: Sure am Next Pres. We’ve got five booths so far. We ran in to a cuppula snags though. No one knew what espresso was. I had to call six of my sisters before I found one who could tell me. It’s coffee that is so strong you can stand a spoon up in it. You also need a special machine that brews the stuff and makes foam. I haven’t been able to find one. We might have to go to Rapid City or Pierre.
Murdo Girl: That’s too much trouble. Let’s just tell everybody to bring the strongest coffee they can. I think Folgers makes a pretty dark brew. Go check at Super Value, and see if they’ll donate some of that powdered cream too.
Pico: Carol and I are really organized Murdo Girl. We got Herman Bork’s Band, and we also talked his sister Cynthia into bringing her karaoke machine. She’s got thousands of songs. She’s going to bring her sister Suzanne and..Wait for it!.. The High School Chorus. Here’s the words to the song they’re gonna sing. It comes from a Frank Sinatra song, There’s an awful lot of Coffee in Brazil. We changed the words some.
There’s an awful lot of Coffee in Murdo Town
You date a girl and find out later
She smells just like a percolator
Her perfume was made in a Murdo coffee still
And dunking doesn’t take a lot of skill, skill, skill!
And when your ham and eggs need savor
Coffee ketchup gives ’em flavor
Coffee pickles way outsell the dill hands down
We put coffee in the coffee in Murdo town, town, town.
No tea, no tomato juice
You’ll see no potato juice
The planters by White River all say “No, no, no!”
Don’t ever gulp your coffee. Drink it slow.
You’ll add to the local color
Serving coffee with a crueller
And if you ever tire of grinding beans, beans, beans
Super Value has a bean changing machine.
FOR MORE BUZZ, read part 2, Too Many H’s🐷🐷🐷it’s a 3 snorter
Some of the crowns entered in the Crown Contest