Old People are Funny…by Mary Francis McNinch
Old people are funny. I’m glad I’m not there yet.
They forget to remember, but remember to forget.
Now what was I just saying? Oh yes, I’m not that old.
I’m always far too hot, when the old folks are too cold.
I admit I sometimes have a little trouble with my thinker.
I’m hoping I last longer than the bulb in my left blinker.
If my hair gets any thinner it will look like some old geezer’s.
Each day I pluck the long hairs from my chin with eyebrow tweezers.
The feet I used to run with are now busy growing bunions.
My acid reflux keeps me eating Tums instead of onions.
When I get my bags out to pack for a vacation,
my clothes go in the smallest and in the big bag…medication.
My friends and I agree the latest fashions don’t excite us,
but Katy bar the door if there’s a new cure for arthritis.
It saddens me that I can’t sing and dance much anymore.
My kids say, “Don’t worry mom you never could before.”
I guess it won’t be long now til I’m forced to face the truth.
I heard my Dentist say I’m getting longer in the tooth.
Even though most people call me ma’am instead of honey,
I’m not considered old yet cause I’m really not that funny.
P.S. When someday I am faced with things yet unforeseen,
I’ll hold my double chin up and remember I’m a queen.