It all started with Tommy. He convinced me to run off with him. Oh it was a fun adventure at first, I guess. We hung out near the garbage of the finest restaurants in town. I preferred the catfish at Hector’s. It’s lightly breaded and not too spicy. We ran around so much, I ate my fill and still had the body of a kitten.
I don’t care if you are a Beasterhop, get your bicycle off my table.
Then one day our world turned cold. It began to rain and the wind came up. “Tommy,” I said. “Please take me home.”
Have you ever hung out with a tomcat? The reason they’re always tomcatting around is they have no sense of direction. They’re not full of wanderlust…they’re lost all the time. Tommy didn’t know where he had picked me up. He wouldn’t even ask other cats if they knew where I lived. All I knew is that it was too far as long as it was raining cats and dogs.
This is much better.
We cats hate to get wet. Tommy and I began to look for shelter from the storm. How we ended up in Kip’s pole barn I will never know, but I’m sure happy we went down that country road.
I’m afraid of that cat and I’m not even real.. I’m stuffed.
We couldn’t catch any mice, so by the second day we were getting very hungry. On the third day, we spotted Kip walking out to the pole barn. We had seen him out there before, but we had hidden.
By this time we were flat starving, so we decided to throw caution to the wind and let him see us.
Is she supposed to have her bicycle on my fireplace?
Well, Kip went to work and built us a condominium. It was up off the cold floor, and it was complete with a king cat bed and bowls of cat food and water. I heard him tell Miss Mary that he wouldn’t bring us inside. She said, “I should hope not! We already have six dogs in here.”
MG…what’s your password for this tablet thingy?
Tommy: YIKES..Did she say six dogs? I won’t be sticking around here. I’m a wandering tomcat, and I’ve gotta wander.
Me: Suite yourself Tommy…Don’t get lost! I’m staying. I think I can work this deal out. Those six dogs don’t know they’re in for something catastrophic.
I was almost ready to make my move…into the house.
The rain continued and I enjoyed my condo with fresh food and water each day, but I had loftier goals. I wanted to rule the house. Those six dogs would be catatonic by the time I was finished with them.
I have huge cat eyes so I made them work for me. Each time Kip came to feed me, I meowed and made my eyes look sad and lonely. I knew I had to move fast because it was getting pretty cold in the pole barn. That’s when I started to practice shivering. The very first time I looked at Kip with my sad cat eyes and shivered…well, it did the trick. He bought a big wire cage, put my king cat bed in there and faster than a kindergartener can spell c-a-t, I was on the inside. I knew that all I had to do now was prove I could handle the dogs and my homeless days were over. I vowed to never be caged again.
This is the cage I went to the vet in, but you get the idea…torture for a cat
MG, as she likes to be called, required a different catstrategy. I acted like I loved her best. The first time I climbed into her lap and purred, she was putty in my paws. She loves me now. All I have to do is jump into her lap every single time she sits down and let her scratch my ears.
As far as the canines go, we’re down to three now… through cattrition. I bat them on the head once in a while, just to show them who’s the boss. They can’t drink out of the water bowl until I’ve had my fill first.
How many copies of the blog do I need? Please don’t call me a copycat!
I used to hate the name MG gave me. They call me Dollie. I taught the dogs to say, “Hellooooow Dollie,” when I enter the room.
I’ll admit I’m a bit of a fat cat now, and once in a while I crave Hector’s catfish, but up until we took up RVing, I was on my way to living nine wonderful lives.
We got stranded in Rapid City. We’re living at a Motel 6. They put me in a small animal crate whenever they take me somewhere. I sure hope Tommy doesn’t see what my life has come to.
Ironic isn’t it? I’m the one who’s tomcatting around now. Tommy would be jealous of my lifestyle. Do you think I’m being too catty?