I ran across one of my favorites…
The pharmacist guy, who owns Murdo Drug Store, and his wife live next door to me. They have lots of crab apple trees in their backyard. Well, one day, my friend Suzanne and I were thinking, and we came up with a plan to get as many of those apples as we could. First, we checked to make sure Mr. and Mrs. Mowell’s car was gone, and then we each took two paper bags and climbed up two of the trees. We both had one bag full when we saw Mr. Mowell come out his back door. He caught us red handed with his red crab apples.
I figured out that Suzanne wasn’t going to say anything, so I said, “Mr. Mowell, we are picking these apples for you.” Well, he told us to get down out of those trees and not to ever come back. He didn’t say to drop the apples we’d already picked, so we took the sacks we had full, and ran all the way back to Suzanne’s house south of 16. We ate so many apples we were sick. Come to think about it, almost every time I play with Suzanne, I get into trouble. Once we smoked a whole pack of Mom’s Salem cigarettes. I was sort of sick then, too.
I guess I can’t blame Mr. Mowell for not wanting us to steal his apples. Imagine if every kid in town did it. Mrs. Mowell couldn’t make crab apple jelly or anything.
A while back, Mom took Billy and me to Rapid City to get our eyes checked. I really wanted to wear glasses, but my eyes are perfect. Billy’s eyes are the opposite of cross-eyed so he got glasses to keep them straight. I noticed that he never wore them so I took them and warmed the ear pieces with hot water and bent them so they would stay on me… sort of. I thought I looked good in those glasses. I wore them in school for a couple of weeks. My second grade teacher, Mrs. Louder asked me if I was supposed to wear my glasses all the time, and I told her, “yes.”
One day, I was playing with my friends at recess, when I saw Mom drive up in her car. I was so used to wearing the glasses that I forgot, that I had them on. Mom stormed over to me and said, “Mary Constance Francis…Billy has been looking all over for those glasses!” She was really mad and she said it was a wonder those glasses didn’t make me go cross-eyed. I don’t know who told on me, but they are NOT my friend. Billy never did wear those glasses.