We find ourselves back in the quaint and sort of welcoming berg where two of our favorite heroines reside. Yes…unable to cut themselves loose, due to lack of a ride, due to lack of a driver’s license, they were a snap to locate…in fact, we weren’t even trying to locate them. So here we go…be prepared to feel all of the air being sucked out of the room.
“Grace, can you hear me? We need to find another place to live. We’re getting too old to drag ourselves up and down all those stairs. That’s how old ladies break their hips, you know…falling down stairs.”
“Yes, Pearl, and there’s nothing worse than a broken hip…unless you count one of those terrible rashes that you can’t get rid of. I hear you can get a real good cream, now. You have to order it by mail. I believe I saw a commercial when I was watching the Andy Griffith show. You know, I don’t know if I like him or Jackie Gleason the best. Who do you like the best. Pearl?”
“What are you talking about, Grace? For Pete’s sake you can run on. I think I hear Pearl the dog wanting in. Where do you suppose Essie is?”
“She’s probably almost here, but she’s not here yet, Pearl. Let’s wait a few minutes before we climb down all those stairs. Pearl the dog will be all right. My knee has been acting up. Say, I saw a cream that might help with my knee pain. I believe I was watching I love Lucy when I saw it advertised. Yes, Lucy herself was doing the commercial. That must mean it works. Lucy wouldn’t do a commercial on something that doesn’t work. She’s kind of young to have knee pain, though, and I’ve always wondered if that Vitameatavegamin Elixir she likes really works. What do you think, Pearl?”
“I think I wish I had some right now, Grace. You have given me a massive sick headache.”
“I have a cream that you rub right into your head, Pearl. I saw the commercial on McHale’s Navy and I ordered some. I’ll go and get it.”
“Yes Grace, you do that, and take you’re time. I hear Essie and Pearl the dog coming up the stairs.”
“Hello Pearl, hello Grace. I’m here! Are you here?”
“Give Pearl the dog her bone and then come in here, Essie or is it Ellie? I can never remember.”
“It’s Ellie. Do you need anything from the kitchen?”
“No thank you, dear. I just had one of my flashes of brilliance. I want you and your mother to move in here with Grace and me. There are more rooms down the hall. We need more help and if we rented a smaller house, there would be no getting away from Grace. Do you think your mother would like to live in the rooms above Sanderson’s Store?”
“I think Mom would like that, Pearl. Can we bring our dog with us? His name is Mouse. He likes to find mice.”
“Oh My…I need an air cigarette!”
Those 70ish Girls 