Those 70ish Girls

I get emails from people who are trying very hard to find a way for me to make money writing. I know they’re sincere. Why else would they be so persistent? I don’t know how they came to know about me, but there is a bunch of helpful people out there.

I must confess, I don’t read all of the emails, but I do save them to read at a later time. Oh my, I just looked and there are two thousand and four of them. I decided, that rather than saving more, I would read today’s suggestions.

Did you know the books that are on fire right now are horror stories. Yes…if I write a real scary story, I could make millions. I don’t even have to know that much about horror to write a marketable story. All I have to do is pay $365 in 3 installments to learn how. If it were 6 installments, I might consider it, but since this is the first of the two thousand and four emails that I have actually read, I think I should go back and look for something that will make me rich for a more reasonable fee.

Here’s one that’s pretty interesting. How to Sell Your Story to Hollywood!
(or: What Will Doom It to Eternal Obscurity?)

Ken is going to host a webinar. He has sort of produced thirty movies. He could very well make my book into a Hollywood hit! I’m thinking, “The Beasterhop goes to Hollywood” has a ring to it. Ken will teach me how to turn my manuscript into a movie script for a fee of $699.00…up front!

This email caught my eye…

Hi,

As you know I’m a big fan of reading biographies and autobiographies of great authors.

I’ve found that you can often learn a lot by studying the lives of writers.

Well, the other day I learnt another great tip, and I want to share it with you.

I replied to his email. I said for a fee of $200 paid in 3 easy monthly installments, I would teach him what I have learnt about the importance of editing.

You know what they say. “Those who can’t do, teach.”

I’ve read twenty-five from the two thousand and four helpful people and call me cynical, but I haven’t found anything I can take to the bank.

Guess I’ll go back and work on my vision board…but first I have to drive over to the gas station and get my Lotto Texas winning ticket. There-in lies my hope…