The Skit…(Be careful what you wish for.)
Narrator: The story takes place in a small fictitious town which is home to around 444 people. The town sits in a small, fictitious state with a population of around 895,376, which doesn’t include dogs, cats, or those pesky goldfish the little kids beg their mothers to buy. Little do the local yokels know they are about to have a visit from a few fictitious ladies who come from a small, fake lake town that sits in the great state of Texas.
Today’s story takes place in a small café, in small fictitious uptown, where several people have gathered in anticipation of the upcoming all school reunion. I see a table near the back where two striking women and a handsome man are sitting. Let’s listen in on their conversation.
Striking woman 1: Listen! They’re playing the school song. I always thought Auld Lang Syne was a strange pick by the student body. Let old acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind. It has a jaded ring to it. I voted for, Tie an orange ribbon around our only tree.
Handsome man: That’s not the school song. It’s the theme for the reunion. I don’t think they like us to come during tourist season, but there is no alternative. I’m looking forward to seeing everyone. I wasn’t able to attend the last reunion. Were you both here?
Striking woman 2: I never miss one. The reunions are what I live for. What year did you graduate?
Handsome man: The same year as you did. Don’t you recognize me? Say…did you ever get married, have kids, get a job?
Just then, the band members began to enter the café. The music came to a crescendo and Striking woman 2 was able to give her allusive answer and make for a hasty retreat. She said, “If you see me getting smaller it means I’m leaving.” (Not exactly original as it’s an old Waylon Jennings song. He sang it with Willie years ago.) She did look smaller as she ran off into the distance, though.
Striking woman 1: What got into her?
Handsome man: That lady is not who she wants everyone to think she is. Think hypocrisy and duplicity. By the end of the weekend, everyone is going to know her little secret.
Striking woman 1: Wow…that’s harsh. Do you mean she’s not really Striking woman 2?
Handsome man: These aren’t our real names. I mean skit names. The fool writing this just hasn’t named us yet. Say…Would you mind paying for my coffee and giving Waitress 1 a nice tip? I’m supposed to run into someone in a dark alley and I’m running late.
Narrator: I’ll give everyone a name as soon as they all get here. Handsome man might not like his too much. I’ll have the gals from Texas and the drifters from other parts of the fictitious small state to identify. By the time this epic skit has ended, I might even have a sign outside of town with my name on it…