Those 70ish girls..The saga of Empress the dancing pig

Tell me a story, Momma

I stopped by the Goodwill store to see what was newly old or oddly new. My eyes went straight to a ceramic pig. She was a bank, I think. Anyway, she was purple and she was wearing a little tutu….And..a shiny crown.

I took my remarkable find to the check-out counter where the clerk looked all over my purple pig for a sticker with the price on it. She couldn’t find one. She said the rule is…if there is no price tag, they can’t sell the item until the next day when someone prices it. I know why they do this. People take price tags off things hoping they can get a better deal. That might work at the Church garage sale, but it is a punishable offense at the GW store.

So they said….

I started to write a poem in my head about Empress the purple pig. I got so attatched to her that I actually decided to stop by and visit her after work. I would take a picture of her…yes! That was a great idea! I could show how I saved her from crashing to the floor in some little kid’s room and breaking into smithereens.

On Wednesday, I would buy her. (At this point, I was willing to pay any price..within reason.) I would take Empress home and introduce her to all of my Beasterhops and dolls and show her my crowns. But that didn’t happen.

“We sold her about 15 minutes ago,” a different clerk said.

“What?” I gasped. “Don’t you know the rules around here?” I frightened her, I think, but I had to leave anyway so she wouldn’t see me cry.

I thought it might help if I wrote a different poem about Empress.


I’m Empress the dancing pig. My agent thought he had me a gig.

But when it never did pan out, my owner kicked my pig can out.

She took me to the GW store…My price tag fell on the floor.

I fear no one will know my worth? My tutu barely fits my girth.

A real strange nice person wanted me. She said her heart was filled with glee!

‘Cause no one knew how much I cost. Another chance for me, was lost.

Couldn’t they just take a guess? Then I could be a great success!!

The stranger said not to worry, for tomorrow she would hurry.

She said, “I’ll come and buy you honey, shine your crown, and give you money to fill your empty hole inside. You’ll wear that purple crown with pride!

She said she’d take me off the shelf and teach me to self- help myself.


Well… that glorious life was not to be. Another person purchased me.

She didn’t give me a chance to show her how this pig can dance.

She took me to a real nice store. Will I stay here for ever more?

She gave me a close inspection. She wanted me for her collection.

It seems I’m worth thousands more, than the price she paid at the Goodwill store.

The above story is true..I found this pig picture on the internet.. Empress was purple. This one goes well with my Francis Plumbing and Heating ceramic commode.


3 thoughts on “Those 70ish girls..The saga of Empress the dancing pig

  1. lifelessons April 4, 2023 / 8:47 pm

    Ah well. There will be other pigs in your future.


  2. Valerie Halla April 4, 2023 / 7:39 pm

    Ohhhmy! I feel badly that your big pig gig piggy bank purchase went down the toilet, pink, purple, tutu clad or not. A toilet, also known as a commode, formerly owned by Francis Plumbing and Heating Co. is made of the finest ceramic, so you’re still better off. If you want to picket GW, let me know.


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