Those 70ish Girls

When my brother Billy was a little boy, he told Dad, “I’m not going to tell you what I got you for Christmas, but you’re not going to have to use that old knife anymore.”

One Christmas, I was determined that Mom’s Christmas present from me was going to be the biggest one under the tree and it was. It was a plastic laundry basket. I remember how hard it was to wrap. The paper must have cost much more than the huge basket did.

One of my co-workers told about her grandson standing in line to sit on Santa’s lap. It was a rather long line, and the child was somewhat perturbed by the time his turn came. Santa of course asked him what he wanted Santa to bring him. The little guy sighed and said, “I just told you last week at the mall, plus I wrote you a letter. I’m not telling you again.” Poor Santa. Poor embarrassed mommy.

Remember Suzy?

My oldest son was four, when we traveled from Wyoming to Draper, SD to spend Christmas with his grandparent’s. At the very top of his letter to Santa was a spider-man bike. We were so proud that Santa was going to make his wishes come true. Santa’s helpers spent a long time putting the bike, (complete with training wheels), together. We were all excited to watch him discover the shinny new bike under the tree Christmas morning. He was so happy! He said, “Look! Look! my spider-man bike!” He then looked around the room and said, “Where’s all the rest of my stuff?”

That’s the danger of writing letters to Santa. I guess Mom and Dad didn’t make it clear that you give Santa a list of “ideas.” That way there will still be the element of surprise. Besides, Santa can’t always find, I mean, the elves can’t always make what’s on the list…in time.

I called my son Craig yesterday and told him what we had gotten his 5 yr old daughter. He said, “Oh good, she’ll love it.” I asked him to spread the word around so no one else will get it for her. He said, “They won’t mom. You’re the only one I told she wanted it.” I said, “You didn’t tell me she wanted it.” There was a moment if silence on the other end. I knew he was trying to remember who it was he did tell.

This year, our three year old grandson, Hudson asked for a Christmas tree, so I guess there will be a Christmas tree under the Christmas tree.

 I’m hoping as you read this, you will be thinking of your own favorite Christmas memories and funny stories.

Our Christmas Eve tradition is to draw numbers for a Chinese gift exchange. One year, our granddaughter Nikki got some lip gloss, which was something she really wanted to keep. Someone else took her gloss, so Nikki had to choose another unopened gift. It was a Santa Claus mug. When I was growing up, I loved my Santa mug and drank hot chocolate from it every Christmas morning. When I saw the long face, I said, “Nikki don’t you like your Santa mug?” She said, “I don’t usually drink from things with faces on them.” We have never let her forget that, and every year someone usually gives her another Santa mug.

I wish I had time to look through all the Christmas pictures we have so I could look through them and decide which one has been the most special. The truth is, in some small way, they have all been the most special .

My memory twig is decorated with things that have special meaning to me, like the close pin reindeer and plaster ornaments the kids made years ago.

I know many of us are also reminded of loss during the holidays. I read a quote in my friend Judy’s blog the other day that meant something to me.

“Everything has a crack in it. That’s how the light gets in.” Love and blessings to all of you this Christmas.

I wrote the following blog last year on my 64th birthday. I’m turning 65 on December 31st. I am re-posting my comments, not because I think it’s particularly good, but because we Christmas shopped all day, and when I got home, the internet was down. It just came back up.

I rather enjoyed reading it again. It made me think about all the people in the world who feel they’re insignificant in the scheme of things. That’s not true. We all count.

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I couldn’t sleep and I started thinking. After 64 years, there is a lot of life to contemplate. Here is how little oldish me has changed the course of history.

If I had not been born:

Mason and Craig are children I gave birth to. Mason Jr. And Ethan were born in Wyoming. Mason moved back there after living with us in Wyoming, California, and Texas. Craig’s children, Olivia and Charlie, wouldn’t have been born if Kip and I had not married and moved to Texas. Craig married a Texas girl.

Mike, Nikki, Seamus, and Hudson would not have been born because Heidi and Heather, who became my daughters (lovingly shared with me by their Mother Dianne), would not have lived in Colorado and Texas. Both girls live in Texas now. All future offspring are who they are, because Kip and I got married. All of our children’s in-laws would not have all of those beautiful grandchildren and great-grandchildren (we have three GGrandies.. Skyler, Griffin, and Ryan Constance). Lives would have been different that’s for sure, and it spans the generations.

Look how much the Queen has affected my life and she probably doesn’t even know it.

Ask yourself this. How many lives would be different if you had not been born? Who would miss you most if you disappeared tomorrow? We all have at least one of the following currently in our lives: spouse, brother, sister, friend, enemy, cousin, grandchild, co-worker, in-law, employer, teacher, aunt, uncle and there’s that list of people who’s lives you have touched and didn’t even know it. Then there are the animals. The numbers add up as life goes on.

Who would be the one to think about all the things you said and did the most? I really contemplated this. There were some amens and some uh-ohs.

Life is short and life is long. So many people have touched me and maybe didn’t realize how much it affected me one way or the other.

If you’re reading this, you are either a relative or a friend.. or both. Thank you for touching my life in the most positive way. You warm my heart and I want you to know that!

When I was growing up, and I would say something to Mom like, “I wish Christmas would hurry up and get here, or I can’t wait until I’m 16 so I can drive,” she would always tell me not to wish my life away. I would always say, “You’re right Mom, I hope time drags on forever.” I didn’t really say it, but I thought it.

There were other times when I was going through a situation I felt was hopeless, and she would say, “This too shall pass.”

Billy Francis, Loretta and Gus Gustafson, Ella Leckey, Valerie Leckey Halla and children

This morning, I talked to my cousin Valerie, aka Lav, aka Next Vice Pres, and sometimes Queen. She told me today was her Mom’s birthday and she still missed her every single day.

When I think of Aunt Ella, who was my Mom’s sister, as well as Valerie’s Mom, I think about these things.

She was smart, and also wise. I never heard her raise her voice in anger; however she did raise her voice in laughter. She had the Sanderson voice that gets high and squeaky when they talk excitedly or laugh. Mom didn’t have it, but Grandpa, Uncle Jeff, and Uncle Wayne, all had it. My brother Billy has it too. It’s a delightful family uniqueness to inherit.

Aunt Ella loved cars. When someone would say they saw “so and so” from out of town, she would say, “What kind of car were they driving?” When we were kids, she drove a 1958 Ford. It was pink. I don’t know if she wanted a pink car or if it just turned out that way. I do know it had nothing to do with Mary Kay.

Aunt Ella was driving her pink car the day she tracked me down at another cousin’s house. Valerie and I had been riding horses and playing rawhide. We’d been herding Aske’s milk cows for most of the day. I left Valerie way out there in the country while I rode bareback to town to pick up some food and supplies. We were having so much fun, we had decided to camp out, which we never would have gotten away with anyway. By the time I got to town, I was no longer in the mood to ride all the way back, so I put my horse up and went to my cousin Mark’s house to play with all the kids there. Shortly thereafter, Aunt Ella drove up in her pink car. She asked me where Valerie was. When I told her she was at Aske’s, she said for me to get in the car, so I could help her find Aske’s. She didn’t get mad, but her voice was a little high and squeaky.

She also loved clothes and she had the figure to wear her favorite styles. Valerie might correct me, but I would describe Aunt Ella’s style as classic. Her clothes were timeless and always appropriate for the occasion. It wasn’t that she bought a ton of clothes, but what she did buy was of the very best quality. I text Valerie an old fuzzy picture of the family Christmas Eve in 1961. I didn’t know who the lady sitting by Aunt Tet was. She said it was her Mom. I doubted it until Val said, “I recognize the dress. She had that dress until the day she died.”

Mom and Aunt Ella were good friends. They didn’t call South Dakota much, but they called each other daily. They both lived in California, however they didn’t live in the same area code so it was still a long distance call.  I think in their minds they figured since they both lived in California, it was a lot cheaper, if not free to call each other.

When Grandpa had one of his four daughter’s with him, and someone said his daughter was a beauty, he would say he had three more just like her at home. He was right.

Mom was speaking the truth when she said not to wish time would pass quickly. When I think about friends, and especially family, who no longer walk this earth, I wish I had appreciated them more. I wish I had told them, (and showed them), I loved them more often. When Mom said, “this too shall pass.” I thought she was only talking about bad times, but good times pass by quickly too. That is the cycle of life.

Mom, Ella and Helen

I still have a beautiful family and wonderful friends to appreciate and love. My step-father, Gus who was married to Mom 38 years, is coming from California to spend Christmas with us. I intend to spend every precious minute I can appreciating and showing that wonderful man how much we love him.

Happy birthday in Heaven Aunt Ella. Thank you for giving me this message. I really needed it today.

We’ll see you and Mom someday, but in the meantime your daughters are having a pretty great time walking the earth.

I’ve been feeling nostalgic recently. I think because I am working on a Christmas project that I hope turns out like I want it to. It involves going through a lot of old photographs, and the whole thing is taking up a lot of my time. I get so into it that before I know it, the day is history. Meanwhile, I’m behind on everything else. Christmas is going to get here whether I’m ready or not. Oh, to be young and stupid again. I’m talking about myself back in the days when I didn’t worry like I do now. (It was back before we called worry.. stress.) I don’t think I’ve told you about my first Christmas as a married 18 year old. If I did, I don’t remember it so you shouldn’t either.

I got married in October and decided to have my husband’s side of the family plus Grandpa Sanderson for Christmas dinner at my house in Draper. Keep in mind, 2 months before then I called my Mom and asked her how to get everything cooked at the same time. I was making pork chops, mashed potatoes and canned corn for supper. She sort of walked me through it over the phone.

When I was growing up, I never so much as warmed up a can of soup. Both of my parents were good cooks. When Mom and Gus got married, he learned how to cook too. Why mess with what’s working right? I wasn’t all that lazy. It just never occurred to me to learn how to make my own meal.

(I have to take some of that back, or you’ll catch me lying. My cousin Mark and I made chocolate chip cookies after school sometimes, so I knew how to make really good chocolate chip cookies.)

I was undaunted by the challenge of making turkey with all the fixings. I found some recipes and bought everything I thought I needed at the grocery store. Christmas Eve was at Aunt Elna and Uncle Jerry Miller’s house that year. I was having a great time and was in no hurry to leave. That’s before I told Aunt Irma that I was having around 10 people for Christmas dinner the next day. She asked me what I had put in my stuffing. I told her nothing yet, but I planned to make it with celery, onion, butter, bread crumbs, and seasoning. Just like the recipe said.

Jeff and Irma Sanderson

 Aunt Irma and Harold Thune were Grand Marshalls of the Reunion parade last July. The second photo is of Aunt Irma and Uncle Jeff Sanderson

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“You haven’t started cooking yet?” she exclaimed!

“Christmas isn’t until tomorrow and everything sounds pretty easy to make. I do have the turkey thawing in the refrigerator,” I added.

“Mary,” She said. “It takes a long time to make turkey dressing. You have to dice up all of the celery and onion, then you have to cook it for awhile in butter and some stock. I hope you have torn up all the bread and it’s drying out! What else are you having?” She seemed kind of worried, and slightly amused by my predicament.

It was about that time, I decided we had better go home. When I got there, I did just as Aunt Irma “suggested.” I cut up two cups of celery and chopped up some onion. My hands were cramping by this time. Then I melted butter. I didn’t even know what vegetable or any other kind of stock was, so I cooked the celery and onion in the butter. It took a long time to get tender. I knew enough not to boil it, so I put it on low and went into the living room to watch a little television. I woke up to the smell of burning celery, onion, and butter.

Well, I was bound and determined to make a good turkey dinner, so I started all over again. I have no idea why I had purchased so much celery and onion, but luck was on my side. I stayed awake this time, and made what turned out to be some pretty good stuffing. Then I looked at the ingredients for the raspberry jello salad that Mom always made. I noticed the recipe said you mixed up sour cream and marshmallows and let them sit out all night. The next day, you beat it up until it’s smooth and put it on the jello/raspberry mixture that was supposed to be set in the refrigerator. I learned from the jello box what set meant. It meant I had to put the jello part together the night before. The night had already turned into Christmas day, but I made the jello too before calling it a night.

I should mention that Mom and Gus were in California for Christmas that year. She never would have left me in the lurch. The next day I made potatoes and gravy and some kind of vegetable. Other family members brought pies and sweet potatoes. It all tasted good to me.

I guess I’ve always been a last minute lulu. I work well under pressure. I don’t remember if I ever thanked Aunt Irma for saving the day. Like I said. Christmas gets here whether we are ready or not. It isn’t something you can put off for a day or two.

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I was going to make some Christmas cookies this afternoon, but I think I’ll have time to do that in the morning. All I have to do is wrap and mail gifts, most of which I haven’t purchased yet.

I wonder how late the stores are open tonight.

This is my crown hat that my friend Pat made for me. I love it. I wanted to see all sides. With and without glasses!

I ran across this post written after a Christmas gathering at our friends Pat and Jerry’s house back in 2016.. I wanted you to see all of the pictures of their beautiful home. It’s sure to put you in the Christmas Spirit.
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There is also a story…of course.

If I could wish for a gift of talent, I would like to be a singer. I love to sing, but I have no voice. I was in girls chorus and mixed chorus all four years of high school. I even got to sing in a couple of ensembles. I can only speculate all these years later, that Mr. Palmer must have needed someone who wanted to be a singer, to sort of stand there and sing softly. He probably needed someone to fill in at times when he only had 5 and needed 6.

He had to have known I couldn’t sing a lick. Fortunately, I knew enough not to sing bad  loudly.

When I own the fact that I can’t sing, people must sense that it pains me not to be able to raise my voice in song, because someone will always say, “Oh Mary, I bet you have a lovely voice.” The truth is my less than melodic voice has been tested and others have confirmed what I already knew.

You can always count on a 4 yr. old to tell you the truth..even if he’s your own child. My youngest did not like me to sing. I couldn’t even sing along with the radio in the car without making him cry. I didn’t purposefully try to hurt his ears, but sometimes I forgot myself and started to hum a tune or sing some song that had been going through my head. He would cry, “Don’t sing mommy! Please don’t sing.” When he got a little older, occasionally we picked up one of his friends and drove them to school. Before the friend got to the car, my little darling would ask me to please remember not to sing while his friend was in the car. At least he stopped crying when I forgot.

Even if you are a terrible singer, you can still only take so much. Name one person who loves to sing that can resist karaoke? I’m talking about a couple of cousins getting together with a friend who happens to have an incredible karaoke set-up with hundreds of songs. I couldn’t resist. In fact, it was my kind of stage. They had to shut out the lights and tell me the party was over to get me to hand over the microphone. I’ll probably never get that chance again. You know how word spreads.

At the beginning of this story, I showed you a picture of a beautiful house. It is the home of our good friends Pat and Jerry Davis. I wrote a few days ago about their unbelievable Christmas decorations and the 13 trees.

They had a wonderful party last week. It was everything a good Christmas party should be and more. Good food, fun friends, and festive in every way. After everyone finished eating and talking and oohing and aahing at all the decorations, someone suggested we sing a few Christmas carols. Most of the people at the party belong to the same church and we have some talented singers and musicians in our congregation. Ron is one who can sing and play a mean piano or organ. I stood by Jerry thinking I could follow his harmonizing. He sang the melody so that didn’t work out too well.

Did I hear someone say, “put a sock in her mouth?”

So..I hit my best 3 or 4 notes and sang my heart out. I may have made a grave mistake. You see, I stood right next to the organ. The thing I didn’t consider at the time, is we’ll be spending New Years Eve with Ron and his wife and a couple of other friends. We’re going back to the RV park where we spent Thanksgiving. Guess what? Ron is putting on a show at the clubhouse..and..He’s bringing his karaoke machine. At least he was going to.

Beautiful home and fabulous decorations. You will note the winter scene in the lower right corner..It’s made from the Styrofoam from the new TV set box. I only got about 1/2 of all the trees and other special touches, but take my word for it. It is a Christmas wonderland.