Those 70ish Girls

Today I saw the doctor. The one who checks my eyes.

He told me I can’t see, which came as no surprise.

I have the beginnings, of what is called glaucoma

I’ve learned its not a good thing, if it ends in “oma.”

He also thought he’d mention that my cataracts are growing

“Are you finished, yet?” I asked. “I really must be going.”

I got into my car with a prescription for eyeglasses.

I thought I should drive slowly, though everybody passes.

By the time I got back home, I had a real meltdown.

I couldn’t help but think, that my eyes had let me down.

Sometimes you do things that you know you might regret.

I don’t think I’ll make that dentist appointment, yet.

If I had a million dollars, I would give it all to you.

And then before I walked away, I would turn and say, adieu.

Without ever turning around, I would whisper, au revoir.

Or I might take a thousand and walk slowly toward the door.

Why should you have all the meat while I’m stuck with marinara?

Give me $100,000 and I’ll say, sayonara.

I couldn’t forgive myself if it affected you adversely.

So I’ll give you 400K and say, arrivederci.

Now I have a headache and I need acetaminophen.

I’ll take 300k and water before I say, auf wiedersehen

I guess I should stay a while in case I need another dose.

After which you’ll hear me shout, baby, adios!

I think maybe you should leave and I’ll say, cherrio.

Be sure and shut the door behind you when you go.

I’ll never have a million dollars. Its just pie in the sky.

I’m going to take a nap now… don’t forget to say goodbye.

If I had a million dollars I’d deliver this bombshell.

“I’m leaving you to travel.” I bid you a fond farewell.

I have almost completed the barn book. It has old barns, churches, houses…everything abandoned. It’s called, Barns and Buildings Revisited. There are stories about some of them in the book as well. I was thinking it wouldn’t take very much time to put together but as usual, I was wrong. I worked long laborious hours arranging and rearranging, adding and cutting. It was sad to see all of these old structures that had outlived their usefulness. Their families had moved on and left them behind. Some of them look like they would fall over if you touched them. I need to change the subject. I’m about to make myself cry.

Today, I’m going to tell true, funny kid stories. The idea came from a conversation Billy and I had on the phone last night. This will be like a newer version of “Kids say the darndest things.” You have to be at least my age to remember the Art Linkletter show. There were little kids sitting in little chairs and he would go to each one and ask them questions. Their answers made us all howl with laughter.

My great-granddaughter, Ryan, spent Saturday night with Meme who is our daughter, Heidi. In the middle of the night she sat straight up in bed and started shaking her head. “Can you hear it, Meme?” She demanded. “Can you hear it?”

“Hear what, honey?” Heidi thought Ryan must be talking in her sleep.

“The screw moving around in my head. Mommy said I have a loose screw in my head. Can you hear it?”

A little boy, who lived in Murdo, had older brothers who liked to tease him about ghosts. Little Mitch adjusted his nightly prayer to emphasize his resolve not to fear them. “May we be blessed by the Father, the Son, and there ain’t no ghosts,” he prayed.

When my niece, Erin, was a little girl, my sister-in-law had to go to Seattle on a business trip. As she was leaving, Erin asked, “After you see Attle, then what are you going to do?”

Ryan’s older sister, Skyler, had a cold and she wanted my daughter to know how bad it was. “Meme,” she whimpered. “My nose is slobbering.”

I have enough grandkids and great-grandkids that I could write a book about the funny things they say, but right now, I don’t have the time. Maybe I’ll start another contest and you can share some of your “Kids say the darndest things,” stories with all of us.

Have a great day!

A week ago Kip, the two dogs and the cat were waking up in the car. It was so cold outside, we couldn’t put on enough layers.

Still, we couldn’t exactly call ourselves pioneers. Kip and the pets slept like babies unlike me who couldn’t get comfortable.

Thankfully, I still had internet and I had thought to bring my tablet and chargers so I could stream a Prime video. I watched a couple of good movies. I also had plenty of snacks, so I kept my energy up. I was cozy with the kitty on my lap…until my legs went to sleep and I had to go to the bathroom. That is when I began to feel the real inconvenience of near zero temperatures, lots of snow, and no electricity or water. You know the rest.

Back to now. We currently have enough bottled water for the animals, but we have to boil any tap water we consume. We are asked to not use our dishwasher or wash clothes as they are still trying to get water to some of the communities who don’t have any, yet. The water company needs us to conserve. The stores are out of food and there are several houses with broken water pipes.

At least it’s warm and some of the fast food places have a limited menu through the drive-up window.

We’re praying that we don’t have a 2021 as harrowing as 2020 was…it’s only February. I guess I should keep a list of movies I’ve been wanting to watch and books I’ve been intending to read…and I will be sure to keep all of my devices charged up.

Have I told you yet how grateful I am? I am blessed beyond belief and I know it.

We got home from Canton today. It turns out we didn’t miss anything. The electricity came back on late yesterday afternoon, but we were still without water when we first got home. A lot of houses over here didn’t have water yet.

One of the smartest guys in the neighborhood told Kip that these streets are the last to be fixed or thawed out. I had confirmed with several of the neighbors more than once that we weren’t the only ones without water, but that didn’t stop Kip from trying to fix ours.

“When was the last time we called the water department?” He asked.

“Why would we call the water department?” I answered. “We know, (I will use a slang phrase that I hate), it is what it is.

“I’m going to try something,” he said. “I think I know what the problem might be.”

I hate it when he looks really thoughtful and then he says, “I’m going to try something.” That usually means he’s going to Lowes and spend a lot of money, or he’ll get his monkey wrench, tear off some piece of the house that shouldn’t be torn off, and eventually fix it. He can fix almost anything.

I knew it wouldn’t be that way this time, because it wasn’t something he could fix. I let him do it anyway without further comment. Why fight the inevitable.

He had a vent torn off and was twisting something with his wrench, when I saw a drip of water come from the kitchen faucet. Was I dreaming? Wishful thinking?

I ran outside to tell him the good news.

“I knew if I turned the bulb a little bit that way and uncovered this pipe so the sun would warm it up, it would work, he said. “Aren’t you happy I was able to fix it?”

“I sure am,” I said. “And it appears that whatever you did fixed everybody else’s plumbing, too! I’m getting texts from all the neighbors telling me their water just came on.

“Well, I think I’ll put these tools away and cover that pipe a little later. Is it time to eat?” He asked.

I am thrilled to have water and electricity. Pioneering is not my thing. We did stay in a motel for four days of the ordeal, but it wasn’t exactly like being on vacation.

P.S. This is tongue and cheek. We are very grateful. This neighborhood really came together and helped each other out. One couple brought propane, heaters, soups, water and kept an eye on everyone’s needs. Especially the most vulnerable.

We continue to say prayers for those who are still dealing with no water electricity, and no food in the stores. At least it has warmed up. Like everything else, Texas did this storm in a big way.

My name is Lilie Dale and I’m the last one of the three…to write a rhyming story about why we had to flee.

Dollie said some bad guys are trying to hunt us down. I think they might be trying to steal MG’s tinfoil crown.

It must be worth a lot because tinfoil isn’t cheap. It not only makes great crowns, it works to wrap your meat.

I’m a hunter not a fighter. Fighting’s not my thing. I can hunt those bad guys down, but I can’t make them sing.

We’re going home tomorrow and we don’t know what we’ll find. If the bad guys robbed us, I hope they left the crown behind.

My name is Pattie Ruth, and I have a story to tell. We had to leave our cold, dark, house and find a new place to dwell.

I thought I had it made here. My humans have been pretty nice, but now I know the truth. This is a fool’s paradise.

We have no water or power. We slept in the car one night. I don’t understand why it’s dark in the house and outside it’s all white.

My humans said we can’t sleep here with two dogs and a cat in the car. The closest room was in Canton so we slid there and that’s where we are.

I hate walking through the snow. It really slows me down. My humans say the problem is that I’m built too close to the ground.

I pray all my animal friends can stay warm when it’s cold day and night. If it keeps on snowing we’ll all be snow dogs. Do teeth made of coal bite?